The Search 06

Sixth Discourse from the series of 9 discourses - The Search by Osho.
You can listen, download or read all of these discourses on oshoworld.com.

5. Taming the Bull

The whip and rope are necessary,
else he might stray off down some dusty road.
Being well trained, he becomes naturally gentle.
Then, unfettered, he obeys his master.

When one thought arises, another thought follows. When the first thought springs from enlightenment, all subsequent thoughts are true. Through delusion, one makes everything untrue. Delusion is not caused by objectivity; it is the result of subjectivity. Hold the nose-ring tight and do not allow even a doubt.

6. Riding the Bull Home

Mounting the bull, slowly I return homeward.
The voice of my flute intones through the evening.
Measuring with hand-beats the pulsating harmony, I direct the endless rhythm.
Whoever hears this melody will join me.

This struggle is over; gain and loss are assimilated. I sing the song of the village woodsman, and play the tunes of the children. Astride the bull, I observe the clouds above. Onward I go, no matter who may wish to call me back.
Truth liberates, and nothing else. Everything else creates bondage, a burden. And truth cannot be found by intellectual effort because truth is not a theory, it is an experience. To know it you have to live it, and that is where millions of people go wrong. They think that if they can cling to a belief, clinging will help them to find the truth. By and by they settle with the belief, and belief is not truth. It is a theory about truth – as if somebody has just settled with words, scriptures, doctrines, dogmas; as if a blind man has started believing that light exists, or a hungry man reads a book on cooking, believing this way, that way, but all the time remaining hungry. That is not the way to satisfy hunger.
Truth is a food. One has to digest it, assimilate it; one has to allow it to circulate in one’s blood, beat in one’s heart. Truth has to be assimilated into your organic unity. Belief is never assimilated, it remains an unrelated phenomenon.
You may be a Hindu, but Hinduism remains just an intellectual concept. You may be a Christian, or a Mohammedan, but they are not organic parts of your being. Deep down, the doubt continues.
I have heard a story:

Titov, the Russian cosmonaut, returned from space and was asked by Nikita Khrushchev privately whether he had seen anyone there. The story goes that he replied, “Yes, I really did see God,” to which Khrushchev answered: “I know that already, but you know our policy, so please don’t tell anybody.”
Later Titov was with the patriarch of the Russian Orthodox Church. The patriarch asked him whether he saw anyone in space. Titov, faithful to his instructions, replied, “No, there was no one.”
“I know that already,” replied the church leader, “but you know our policy, so please don’t tell anybody.”

Underneath your beliefs, whatsoever the belief, doubt continues. Doubt is at the center, and belief is on the periphery. So your life is basically determined by your doubt, not by your belief. You may be a Communist, and still somewhere deep down doubt continues. You may be a Catholic, a Christian, a theist, but deep down the doubt continues.
I have looked into so many people belonging to different beliefs, sects, but deep down – the same doubt. And the doubt is neither Hindu nor Christian nor Mohammedan. And the doubt is neither Communist nor anti-Communist. Doubt is pure – simply doubt. For this pure doubt you will need pure trust.
This pure doubt which has no adjective to it – Hindu, Christian, Mohammedan – cannot be destroyed by Hindu, Christian, Mohammedan concepts, beliefs, theories, philosophies. What can you do about this doubt?
A real seeker is not searching for any belief to console him. Rather, he is trying to find a deeper center in himself which goes beyond doubt. This has to be understood. You have to go deep in your own being to such a point of aliveness where doubt is left behind on the periphery. Rather than doing that, people go on clinging to beliefs on the periphery, and doubt remains deep down. Just the reverse has to be the case.
Go deeper into your being. Don’t be concerned about the doubt, bypass it. Let it be there! Don’t try to hide yourself in a belief. Don’t be an ostrich. Face the doubt – and go beyond it. Go deeper than the doubt. Then comes a moment in your being because at the deepest core, at the very center is only life. Once you have touched that deep core within yourself, doubt is just a faraway peripheral thing. It can be dropped very easily.
There is no need to cling to any belief in order to drop it. You simply see the stupidity of it. You simply see the ridiculousness of it. You simply see how doubt has been destructive to your whole life, how doubt is continuously eroding your being, how it has been poisonous. Just seeing the fact that doubt has been poisonous, and that it has not allowed you to celebrate, that a great opportunity is being missed, you simply drop it. It is not that instead of doubt you cling to a belief.
A real man of trust has no belief – he simply trusts because he has come to know how beautiful life is. And he has come to know how eternal, timeless, life is. He has just come to know that within himself is the kingdom of God. He becomes a king – and not a king in the ordinary sense of the word because that kingdom which comes from without is a false kingdom, a dream kingdom.

I have heard about Shah Farouk, the king of Egypt: he was once asked how many kings there would be in the world after twenty-five years.
He replied without hesitation that there would be five, and then he explained: “The king of England, the king of hearts, the king of diamonds, the king of clubs and the king of spades.”

The kingdom that comes from the outside is just a kingdom of dreams. You can be a king, but you will be a king of playing cards or, at the most, the king of England. Nothing of much value, worthless; just a bogus symbol, meaning nothing.
The real kingdom is within. And the most amazing fact is that you go on carrying it within yourself completely unaware, not knowing what treasures you have, and what treasures are yours to just claim.
Religion is not a search for any belief. Religion is an effort to know the very ground of your being, to touch the very rock bottom of your existence. That experience of the rock bottom of your existence is what we mean when we use the word truth. It is existential. It is an experience.
So don’t be too fooled by beliefs. Be alert – they are deceptions. Because of these beliefs people don’t search. Once you think you know, you believe you know, what is the point of searching? Beliefs are devices to avoid the search because the search is arduous, the search is difficult. Many dreams will be shattered, many images will be shattered, and you will have to pass through much pain. That pain is a necessity: it cleanses, it gives you solidity, integrity; it matures you. Those pains are like birth pains because through them you are going to be reborn.
Belief is cheap; it costs nothing. Just a nodding of the head and you become a Christian or a Hindu or a Mohammedan. It is too cheap. Truth cannot be that cheap. You will have to sacrifice many cherished dreams. You will have to sacrifice your imaginary image. You will have to sacrifice many things which you value too much in your ignorance. You will have to come out of the cloudy state of your being where you are right now. You will have to rise above it. And, of course, climbing a mountain is difficult – there is no other mountain which is greater than you. You are carrying the greatest peak, the Everest, within you.
Of course, the climbing is going to be difficult. But the difficulty pays; it pays tremendously. Once you reach the peak – just the effort, the difficulties, the challenge, the arduousness of climbing – something goes on crystallizing within you. The moment you reach the peak, it is not only a peak that you have reached – you have become the peak. You have attained to a height you had never known before. You were living in a dark valley; now you live in sunshine.
So the first thing for the seeker is to be aware that beliefs are barriers. If you come to me as a Christian, you cannot come to me. If you come to me as a Hindu, you only appear to have come to me. But you cannot come because between me and you, your Hinduism, your Jainism, is creating a distance. What you believe makes no difference to me. All beliefs – unconditionally, all beliefs – are barriers.
It happened once in a capital…

The party picket lines were pacing in front of the courthouse where some comrades were being indicted. A policeman, trying to keep order, shoved an onlooker.
“Don’t shove me!” the onlooker complained. “I’m anti-Communist.”
The cop glared at him. “You just keep moving,” he ordered. “I don’t care what kind of Communist you are!”

It makes no difference: the Communist is a Communist; the anti-Communist is also a Communist because it makes no difference whether you believe in Marx, or Moses, or Manu, or Mahavira. It makes no difference. You believe; whether in Srimad Bhagavadgita, or Das Kapital, or the holy Koran, it makes no difference. The believer’s mind is the wrong mind.
Drop your belief so that you can come to encounter your doubt. Facing doubt, encountering doubt, trust arises. If you allow the doubt to be there, and you don’t hide somewhere else, if you face it in its nakedness, in the very encounter something new immediately arises in you - and that is trust. Trust arises facing doubt, not escaping from it; belief is an escape. And belief is a false coin, a false substitute for trust; it looks like trust, it is not trust. In belief, the doubt continues underneath as an undercurrent.
In trust there is no doubt. Trust has never known doubt; trust has never encountered doubt. It is just as light has never encountered darkness - the moment light comes, the darkness disperses, disappears. But if you only believe in light, that is not going to help. You live in darkness and you go on believing in light – but you live in darkness! Your belief in light is not a help; it is a hindrance because if you had no belief in light, you would have searched for light. Believing in light, you think it is going to happen. It is there. Some day or other, by the grace of God, it is going to happen. You go on living in darkness, so belief is a trick of the darkness to protect itself. Belief is a trick of the untrue to protect itself. Be on guard.
To believe is to take the symptoms to be the real disease. You go to a physician; he diagnoses your illness. He looks for symptoms, but symptoms are not diseases. Symptoms are only indicative that something is wrong somewhere deep inside. Doubt is an indication, just as when your fever goes high – a hundred and two, a hundred and three degrees – but the fever itself is not the disease.
So if somebody has a high fever, don’t start giving him a cold shower. That is logical: if you think that the fever itself is the disease, then you cool down the body. The body is getting hotter and hotter, cool it down; give him an ice-cold shower. You are fighting the symptoms – you may kill the patient. This is not the way. The illness is somewhere deep down; the fever is simply indicative that something has gone wrong within. Treat that something which has gone wrong within and the temperature will come down to normal of its own accord.
Doubt is a symptom, it is not the disease. When you cling to a belief, you are misunderstanding that doubt is the disease. So you think: If I believe, doubt will disappear. No, it won’t disappear – it will just go underground. It will become unconscious. The conscious you will believe in God; the unconscious you will go on denying him.
Don’t be afraid of doubt. Doubt is not the enemy; doubt is a friend. The doubt is simply saying to you that you have not yet searched within; hence, doubt is there. You have not looked into your own reality; hence, doubt is there. Look into your own reality, and doubt disappears like darkness. Bring light.

I have heard about a great Christian priest, Henry Ward Beecher. In his church there was a clock which was always either too fast or too slow, and people were always complaining about the clock. It was an everyday problem. Whoever came, he would tell Beecher, “The clock is not right.”
One day Beecher got tired of it all and put a sign on the clock: “Don’t blame my hands,” it read. “The trouble lies deeper.”

The trouble always lies deeper. The trouble is not on the surface. The trouble is not with the hands of a clock, but deep in the mechanism. So don’t try to change your mind from doubting to believing; that is not going to help. It is not a question of the mind – the trouble lies deeper, deeper than your mind, and you have to go deep within yourself.
This is the whole meaning of searching for the bull. The bull is life energy, dynamism, vitality.
The fifth sutra:
Taming the Bull

The whip and rope are necessary,
else he might stray off down some dusty road.
Being well trained he becomes naturally gentle.
Then, unfettered, he obeys his master.
The sixth sutra:
Riding the Bull Home

Mounting the bull, slowly I return homeward.
The voice of my flute intones through the evening.
Measuring with hand-beats the pulsating harmony, I direct the endless rhythm.
Whoever hears this melody will join me.
Listen to every word as carefully as possible: The whip and rope are necessary… The whip is a symbol for awareness, and the rope is a symbol for inner discipline. Awareness and discipline are the most fundamental things for a seeker. If you discipline yourself without awareness, you will become a hypocrite. If you discipline yourself without awareness, you will become a zombie, a robot. You may not do harm to anybody, you may be known as a good man or even as a saint, but you will not be able to live your real life - you will not be able to celebrate it. There will be no delight in it. You will become too serious; playfulness will be gone forever. And seriousness is a disease.
If discipline is without awareness, then you will enforce it and it will be a violence, a rape of your own being. It will not give you freedom; it will create bigger and bigger imprisonments. Discipline is right, if it is based on awareness. Discipline goes completely wrong, becomes poisoned, when it is done not with awareness but by a blind, believing mind.
So the first thing is the whip – the awareness. And the second thing is the rope – the discipline. Why the need for discipline? If you are aware, it seems awareness is enough. Eventually it is enough, but not in the beginning because the mind has deep patterns, and energy tends to come from the old habits and old patterns. New channels have to be created.
You may have become aware, but that awareness will not be enough in the beginning because the mind, finding any opportunity to go with any old pattern, immediately slips, in a split second. It takes no time to become angry. By the time you become aware, anger has already flashed. Later on, when your awareness has become total, when your awareness has become an absolute with you – before anything happens, awareness is already there, a priori. If anger comes, before anger, awareness is already there; if sexuality possesses you, before it, awareness is there. When awareness has become a natural, spontaneous thing, like breathing, it is there even in your sleep, then discipline can be discarded. But in the beginning – no. In the beginning, when awareness is settling, discipline will be helpful.
Discipline simply is an effort to create new pathways for the energy to travel, so it need not travel the old pathway.
For many lives you have been continuously angry; the root is engraved. The moment you have energy, the energy automatically goes to anger. Hence, many religions prescribe fasting. If you are fasting – that means, if you are starving yourself – you don’t have much energy. Food creates energy. If you don’t have much energy, then you cannot become angry. But weakness is not a transformation; again it is a deception.
Many religions preach fasting so that you can overcome sex. Of course, if you fast too much and your body is starved, you will not have enough energy for sexuality. For sexuality you need overflowing energy because sex is a luxury. When you have a lot of energy, then it happens. When you don’t have enough, it disappears of its own accord - but that is not true brahmacharya. You are deceiving yourself. Energy should be overflowing, but it should be channelled in a different dimension – the dimension of love. And you will have to create a discipline for that, so that when the energy arises it goes into love, not into sex – it goes into compassion not in passion, it goes into sharing not into greed.
Discipline is needed to create new pathways. So awareness and discipline should go together. There are people who insist that only awareness will do. In a way they are right; but to get to that point of awareness where it is enough, where it is its own discipline, is very, very difficult. It rarely happens.
Krishnamurti goes on saying that only awareness is enough, no discipline is needed. And he is logically right! But it doesn’t happen that way. Life is very illogical; it doesn’t listen to logic. So people have been listening to Krishnamurti for forty years, and nothing has happened because they think only awareness will do. But to get to that awareness, tremendous effort is needed – and they cannot afford that. In fact, Krishnamurti has become an escape for these people, so they can avoid discipline and they can go on thinking that only awareness will do. They go on living in their darkness, and the peak never happens.
Then there are others who go on saying that discipline is enough, no need for awareness. They are talking of the other extreme. Discipline alone cannot be enough. The man who goes on forcing discipline on himself becomes, by and by, a mechanical robot.

I have heard about a saint who died, but he was forced to go to hell. He could not believe it. He asked to see God and ask him what wrong had he done because for his whole life he was one of the purest of men.
God said to him, “You have never done anything bad, that’s right. But you have never done anything good either because, in the first place, you have never been there. You were just like a robot.”

A mechanism goes on doing something; it is neither good nor bad. The mechanism has no spirit, no soul in it. It simply goes on repeating. The repetition is dead. Repetition won’t help. You can do your prayers every day; but only the mind’s mechanism will be repeating them. You will not be in it. You can go on serving people, helping people – the poor and the ill – but if you are just acting like a robot, if the discipline is all and there is no awareness in it, then you are like a computer. Your skill may be great, but you are not there.
Many religions have been just teaching discipline, morality, good actions and good deeds; that has not helped the world. People have not become alert or alive through it. Both opposites are half and half. Zen says that both awareness and discipline have to be followed together. A rhythm has to be created between these two opposites. One should start with the whip, and one should end with the rope.
The whip and rope are necessary, else he might stray off down some dusty road. The bull is well acquainted with many dusty roads, and if the whip and the rope are not applied, there is every possibility that again the bull that you have caught will be lost.
Being well trained, he becomes naturally gentle. Then, unfettered, he obeys his master. Then there is no need for discipline. Then you have become a master. …well trained, he becomes naturally gentle. Training is needed, but training is not the goal. Training is just a means. Finally, one has to come out of training; one has to forget all discipline. If you have to continue in your discipline, that simply shows the discipline is not yet natural.
In the beginning you remain alert; you create new pathways for your mind’s energy. By and by, there is no need – by and by, even to remain alert is not needed. One is simply alert; not that one tries to be alert. Only then is the flowering – when alertness is natural, when meditation is not something to be done but it simply goes on happening. It has become your very climate; you live in it. You are it. Then, unfettered, he obeys his master.
The sixth sutra: Mounting the bull, slowly I return homeward. If you are not the master, then you go away, far away from home. If you are the master, you start coming back toward the original source. If you are not the master, then energy moves away from you – toward things, persons, power, prestige, fame. Energy goes on moving away from you, toward the periphery. Once you are the master, energy starts moving homeward.
Kabir, one of the great Indian mystics, has said, “The day I became enlightened, I saw the Ganges flowing upcurrent, flowing back to the source.” He is right: the Ganges then no longer goes toward the ocean; it goes back toward Gangotri, its origin in the Himalayas.
If you are the master, the mind follows you like a shadow. If you are not a master, you have to follow the mind like a shadow. The mind means outgoing energy; meditation means incoming energy – the same energy. Only the direction is different.
Mounting the bull, slowly I return homeward. The voice of my flute intones through the evening. Remember this: if your search is not leading you toward more and more blissful states, where you can sing and dance, then something is wrong – then something is absolutely wrong. Then you are on some wrong path. Your blissfulness – your singing and dancing – is the indicator. It need not be extrovert: you need not sing so that others can hear it, but you will hear the singing continuously, there within you. If you like, you can sing and share, but there will be a dance inside you. The nearer you come to home, the happier you feel. Happiness is a quality of energy returning toward home.
The voice of my flute intones through the evening. Measuring with hand-beats the pulsating harmony, I direct the endless rhythm. Whoever hears this melody will join me. That’s how millions have joined Buddha, Jesus, Krishna – their song, their blissfulness, their ecstasy is infectious. Once you hear, you cannot do anything but join. That’s why people are afraid to hear. People are afraid to come in contact with somebody who can change their direction, their life. They avoid them. They convince themselves that there is nothing to go for. But their argument is nothing but a rationalization of a deep, hidden fear.
People behave as if they were blind and deaf. This is the cunning mind which goes on saying: Don’t go in this direction – there is danger. Danger for the mind, of course, but not for you. For the first time you will become masters of your being. But then you will have to allow somebody who has come to know to touch your heart and to give a rhythm to your heart; you will have to allow him so that he can share his harmony with you.
In the East we call it satsang. It means to be in the presence of a master, to be in the harmony of the master, to fall in line with the master. The master is there – you simply sit around him, not doing anything. By and by you imbibe the climate, the milieu. By and by the energy of the master goes on overflowing, and you become open to it. By and by you relax, and you don’t resist, and you don’t fight, and you start tasting, and you start smelling something of the unknown – the flavor, the fragrance. The more you taste of it, the more trust arises.
Just by being in the presence of an enlightened man, tremendous possibilities open, your potentiality starts functioning, working. You can feel the hum, the humming sound of the newness that comes to you. It is a sharing of a song, a sharing of a dance, a sharing of celebration.
Remember this, let it be the criterion: if you are here with me and you become sad and long-faced and serious, then something is wrong. You have misunderstood me; your mind has misinterpreted me. If you are really here, vulnerable to me, open, then by and by you will see a song is bursting in you. You will feel that walking is no longer just walking – it is getting the quality of dance. The heart is not simply pumping the blood – now it is beating in harmony. You will feel the orchestra of life in you. Then you are on the right path. Then you have not misinterpreted me; then you have been imbibing me.
That’s the meaning of sannyas: a simple gesture on your part that you are available – nothing else. Just a simple gesture that you are no longer resisting me, that you will not fight with me, that you are not going to waste time fighting, that you drop all defense measures. That is the meaning of sannyas – that you are getting ready for satsang, that now I can shower on you and you will be ready to receive. It simply shows your receptivity.
The voice of my flute intones through the evening. Measuring with hand-beats the pulsating harmony, I direct the endless rhythm. Whoever hears this melody will join me. The same I say to you: whoever hears this melody will join me.
Now, the prose comments for the fifth sutra:
When one thought arises, another thought follows. When the first thought springs from enlightenment, all subsequent thoughts are true. Through delusion, one makes everything untrue. Delusion is not caused by objectivity; it is the result of subjectivity. Hold the nose-ring tight and do not allow even a doubt.
As you are, you cannot find truth. As you are, you can find only the untrue. It is not a question of seeking and searching, it is a question of your consciousness. If you are untrue, how can you find truth? Once you become true, you find truth. Truth happens to those people who have become authentically true themselves. If you are false, you will meet with falsity wherever you go because, in fact, it is not a question of the objective world, it is a question of your own subjectivity. You create your world. You are your world. So if you are wrong, you create a wrong world around you. If you are false, then you create a world of lies around you, you project your own world. So don’t be angry at the world. Whatever world you have, you have earned it. You deserve it. The world is nothing but your own magnified mind.
When one thought arises, another thought follows. When the first thought springs from enlightenment, all subsequent thoughts are true.
Somebody asked Buddha once, “What is truth?” and he said, “Whatsoever an enlightened person is doing is true.”
Somebody asked Mahavira, “Who is a real saint?” and Mahavira said, “Whosoever has become awakened.”
It is not a question of acts. What you do does not matter – it is what you are. Ordinarily people think that though they are false, they can still do a few good things. That’s not possible. They know that they are ignorant, but still they think that something, a few fragments of life, can be transformed, “At least that much we should do.” But nothing is possible. You cannot do a few good things – it is impossible. It is not a question of what you do, it is a question of your being. If you are wrong, all that you do is wrong. Whatever the appearance, all that you do is wrong. You cannot do a right thing if you are not right in the first place. And if you are right in the first place, you cannot do anything wrong – whatsoever the appearance.
If Krishna goes and becomes a thief, that is right. It has been very difficult for the Western mind to understand this Eastern attitude because the whole Eastern attitude depends on being and the whole Western attitude depends on doing. Goodness is something to be done; saintliness is concerned with actions. Not so in the East because you can perform a good action and you may not be good; then somewhere in the good action there will be some bad intention. It has to be so. If you are awakened, it is impossible to do anything wrong. Even if it appears to be wrong, even if the society decides it is wrong, the society is at fault because out of an awakened heart it is impossible for any wrong to arise.

A fakir was invited to a dinner. The fakir was seated next to a man and during the evening he asked the man, “What are you living for?”
“I am a pharmacist,” replied the man.
“Yes,” said the fakir. “That’s what you are doing to make a living – but what are you living for?”
There was a moment’s hesitation. “Well, sir, I really have not thought about that,” replied the pharmacist.

In the West, and particularly for the modern mind whether in the East or in the West, doing has become more important. And when doing becomes more important, you lose all contact with your being, you lose all contact with the source of life. Then you go on doing a thousand and one things – except the most essential. The most essential is to know oneself, and you cannot know yourself unless you shift your whole consciousness from doing to being.
Whenever somebody asks who you are, you say: I am a doctor, or, I am an engineer, or an architect, or something like that. These answers are wrong. This is what you are doing – this is not your being. When I ask you: Who are you? I am not asking you whether you are a doctor or an engineer. That’s what you do. That is not your being. That’s how you earn your living – that’s not your life.
Who are you?
If you drop the ideas of being a doctor, engineer, a professor, then suddenly you will become aware of a certain emptiness within you. You don’t know who you are. What type of life is this in which you are not even aware of who you are?
One goes on avoiding this emptiness within oneself. One goes on fixing patches all around oneself, so from nowhere can you see this inner void. One goes on clinging to actions, and actions are no more than dreams – both good and bad. Good actions, good dreams; bad actions, nightmares. But both are dreams. The whole effort in the East has been this: to know the dreamer.
Who is this dreamer? Who is this consciousness on which dreams come, flow and go?
Through delusion, one makes everything untrue. Delusion is not caused by objectivity; it is the result of subjectivity. The world is not causing it: you are causing it. So never blame the world. Don’t say, as people are prone to say, that the world is illusory, the world is maya. The world is not maya, the world is not illusory. It is your mind, it is your own subjectivity which goes on creating maya – illusion – all around you.
For example: you are walking, you have gone for a morning walk and beside the road you see a diamond, a beautiful diamond, shining. It is valuable for you; the value is given by your mind – otherwise it is a stone like any other stone. If you ask other stones beside the road, they will simply laugh at you: “Maybe a shining stone, but what difference does it make? A stone is a stone.” If no one passes along the road, then there is no diamond. Once a man passes along the road, immediately a certain stone transforms itself in his mind and becomes a diamond.
Diamondness is given by the mind to the stone – it was never there. Once humanity disappears from this earth, things will be here but in a totally different way. A roseflower will be as ordinary a flower as any flower; there will be no difference. The Ganges will not be a holy river; it will be as ordinary a river as any other. There will be no difference between a church and a temple; they will both be just the same.
The differences are brought by the mind. Categories are created by the mind. Appreciation and condemnation are of the mind. Once the mind is not there, everything is in its reality as it is. No evaluation arises.
One who is untrue makes everything untrue. You go on projecting yourself – everything else functions as a screen.
Delusion is not caused by objectivity; it is the result of subjectivity. Hold tight the nose-ring and do not allow even a doubt. In the beginning, the discipline has to be hard: Hold tight the nose-ring and do not allow even a doubt. In the beginning, the work is going to be hard, arduous because if you relax a little, the mind will go immediately into old patterns. It brings the old miseries back again. It creates the whole nonsense again and again. In the beginning, you have to be really strict.
The night Buddha achieved enlightenment, he sat under the tree and he said: “I will not rise from this tree again in my life, if I don’t attain enlightenment. Finished!” He said, “I am finished with doing anything for it. I am going to sit here; this tree is going to become my death.” A total decision. At that moment he dropped his decidophobia completely – a total decision. Meditate on this! That very night, by the morning he became enlightened.
I have heard a story about a Sufi mystic, Baba Shaikh Farid:

Once, a young man approached Shaikh Farid. He was taking his bath in the Ganges River, and the man asked him how he might find God. Baba Shaikh Farid took hold of him, led him into the water. When they had gone in deep enough, he forced him under the water. The young man nearly drowned before the holy man released him.
“Why did you do that?” he gulped incredulously.
“When you long for God as much as you wanted air while you were under water,” replied Baba Shaikh Farid, “you will find him.”

Your desire should become so intense that you put all that you have at stake. The passion to seek should be so total that not a single doubt is allowed to make you waver. The very intensity will bring truth. It can happen in a single moment! You just need to become a total intensity of inner fire.
The decision should be total. It is arduous, of course, but everybody has to pass through that arduousness once. One has to pay for truth, and there is no other way to pay for it: you have to put your whole being on the altar. That is the only sacrifice that is needed. Hold tight the nose-ring and do not allow even a doubt.
The prose comment for the sixth sutra:
This struggle is over; gain and loss are assimilated. I sing the song of the village woodsman, and play the tunes of the children. Astride the bull, I observe the clouds above. Onward I go, no matter who may wish to call me back.
If your intensity is total, the struggle is over. If you are really interested in seeking the bull, then don’t go on working for it half-heartedly. Either seek it, or don’t seek it because a lukewarm search is not going to help; it is a sheer waste of energy. If you want to seek, then put yourself totally into seeking. If you don’t want to seek the bull, forget all about it. Go into the world totally. Some other day will be the right moment for the search to begin.
If you are not ready to put yourself completely in the search, to get involved with your whole heart, that simply shows that you are not yet finished with the world. The world still attracts you; desires still go on haunting you. You would still like to become a rich man, a powerful man, a president, or something like that. Greed is still hiding inside you. You still have not come to that moment of awareness where you realize that the real treasure is within you and not without. Then go into the outside world. Don’t be half-and-half; that is the most dangerous situation.
If you are half religious and half worldly, you will miss both. You will not be able to cope with the world; your religion will become an interference. And you will not be able to cope with the inner search because your worldly desires will continuously distract you. There is no need! If the world still attracts you, if you still feel that there is something which has to be attained, then go, and get frustrated completely. You will get frustrated. It simply means that you need a little more wandering, going astray. Nothing is wrong in it – go fast! Go totally, so you are finished sooner. Then you are ripe. Then your whole energy will turn inward. Frustrated with the without, your energy will go inward spontaneously.
But people are cunning. They want to have both worlds – they want to have the cake and eat it too. They are trying to be clever, and this cleverness is going to prove their stupidity. This cleverness is not intelligence – half-heartedly, nothing is attained. All attainment needs intensity, total intensity.
In a single moment the struggle can be over. This struggle is over; gain and loss are assimilated. When the struggle is over, then one understands that everything was right. Gain and loss, both are assimilated. Going astray was also part of your growth, and going into the world was also part of your search for God. It was needed! So when I say go into the world, I don’t say it in any condemnatory sense. I simply say that it is needed. Be finished with it! You are not yet ripe. If you try half-heartedly to come to your inner source, it is going to be suppression. And suppression divides, makes you ill.
I have heard an anecdote:

A boy, his mother and his father had been invited to dinner at an aunt’s home. She was a fussy type and his parents had warned the boy to be on his best behavior. “Don’t start asking for things at the table, or reaching for things,” he was told. “Just wait until you are asked.”
Somehow at the table the boy was overlooked as the good things were being served. He didn’t say anything. Finally, he coughed a little. Nobody paid any heed.
At last, during a brief lull in the chatter, he said in a loud, clear voice, “Anybody want a clean plate?”

That is the mind of the suppressed man – always watching, waiting; always hankering, desiring. And the mind will find some way or other to cough, or to say: Does anybody need a clean plate?
Any suppressed desire is going to assert itself; it will find a way to assert itself. Never suppress a desire. Understand, but never suppress. Be aware, but never suppress. Desires are great lessons – if you suppress them, you will miss the lesson. Live in them. Live them consciously. Understand them, why they are there, what they are. And when I say understand them, the understanding is possible only if you don’t condemn them. If you already condemn them, then you cannot understand them. Be neutral: don’t decide what is wrong and what is right. Just observe.
When anger arises, don’t say it is bad. In fact, don’t call it anger because in the very word anger a condemnation has entered. Simply close your eyes, say x, y, z, anything – that x is arising. Just feel the difference when you say anger is arising and when you say x is arising. Immediately there is a difference. With x you have no pro or con; with x you are neither in favor nor against. With x you are unprejudiced. With anger you are prejudiced – centuries of conditioning that anger is bad.
Just look at it, observe it, watch it. Anger is also energy – maybe not moving in the right direction, but still the energy is there, part of the bull. Watch it. Observe it. And just by watching and observing, you will see the energy being transformed. Observation is alchemical. It changes the energy, the quality of it. Soon you will see: the same energy that was going to be anger has transformed into compassion. Compassion is hidden in anger as the tree is hidden in the seed – but going deep, insight is needed.
If you become repressed, you not only repress those things which have been condemned by the society, you also start repressing all those things which are natural and are not to be repressed.
So go into the world; be finished with the world. Don’t be afraid of the world because if you are afraid you will try to escape half-ripe, and to be half-ripe is the worst shape to be in. Let the heat of the world make you perfectly ripe. You are so frustrated, disillusioned that now you are available to go on some other trip, into some other space.
And then a beautiful thing happens. For example, sex will disappear, but that doesn’t mean that love will disappear. A totally new kind of energy arises in you. Love will become strengthened, love will become vigorous. And if sex happens, it will be part of love; it will have a totally different context. So it is not good to call it sex.
Right now, if love happens at all, it happens as part of sex. Sex remains the basic thing. Love is just a shadow to it. When sex disappears, love disappears. When you become interested sexually in some other person, love disappears from the person you were sexually related to before.
But when sex energy is transformed, moves into higher realms, you become urdhva-retus – the energy is not moving downward but upward; or not moving outward but inward, which is the same. Inward and upward are the same dimension. Downward and outward are the same dimension. They are not two different dimensions. When your energy moves upward or inward, sex becomes a part, a shadow, of love. It is then no longer important in itself.
If you are repressing and not becoming aware, then you will repress sex and you will repress love also because you will become afraid. Whenever love comes into your mind, sex will follow – immediately. You will also become afraid of love. A repressed person becomes afraid of energy itself.

I have heard about one man who was in love with a woman, and he asked the woman to marry him. But before she accepted she inquired, “Just one thing, Harry. Are you the sort of man who would expect a wife to go out to work?”
Harry said, “Look, Sybil. No wife of mine is ever going to have to go out and take a job – unless, of course, she wants food and clothes and luxuries like that.”

Now food and clothes are not luxuries, but if you repress, then you become afraid of everything. Then fear grips you. A repressed person is a frightened person, afraid of everything.
If you present some money to Vinoba Bhave, he will not touch it. He’s afraid to touch money. Not only that, he will turn his head so he cannot see it, or he will close his eyes. Now this seems a little too much. It seems like the miser is standing on his head; it is the same type of mind.
The miser goes on accumulating money, and then one day, frustrated, he starts repressing his desire for it. Then he chooses the reverse course, the opposite pole. Then he is even afraid to see money. Now if money, itself, is worthless, then what is the fear in seeing it? If money has no deep attachment in you, deep obsession in you, then why close your eyes? You don’t close your eyes to other things. If you ask Vinoba he says: “Money is dirt.”
One of his disciples came to me once and he said, “I asked Vinoba and he says money is dirt.”
“But then,” I said, “go back and tell him: ‘Then, whenever you see dirt, close your eyes! Don’t touch earth, don’t walk on earth. Hang yourself in the air. because if money is dirt, then dirt is money. But you behave differently: with dirt you are not afraid! With money you are afraid.’”
No. I cannot believe that money is dirt. Money is still money, dirt is dirt. When you call money dirt, you are simply showing some deep obsession. Otherwise, why is money dirt? Money is a useful means. Use it, but don’t be used by it! I can understand that. Don’t be used by it!
That is how a person who is aware functions in life. But if you repress, you move to the opposite polarity. A miser stands on his head, becomes a great, great person who has renounced the world. Remember: repression is not going to help.
This struggle is over; gain and loss are assimilated. I sing the song of the village woodsman, and play the tunes of the children. Beautiful! One becomes like a child – simple, innocent, happy in small things. I sing the song of the village woodsman… Astride the bull, I observe the clouds above. Onward I go, no matter who may wish to call me back.
The old world calls me back. The old desires call me back. The old patterns call me back. But now it doesn’t matter; I am moving toward the real treasure. So delusions cannot attract me any longer, and everything has become beautiful – the clouds in the sky, and the song of the woodsman.
The real saint becomes like a small child – simple, almost like an idiot. Saint Francis used to call himself the fool of God. Lao Tzu says: The whole world is clever except me. I am an idiot.
One becomes like a small child – with no logic; tremendously alive, but not hung up in the head. Energy becomes a flow; now there are no blocks, nothing is frozen, and the boundaries merge. Then one is not separate from the whole, but simple, like woodsmen and their simple song. Life becomes a simple song, and life becomes innocence.
Once you know what life is, tremendous beauty arises in your being. Everything becomes luminous, illumined with God. Each stone becomes a sermon. Each silence becomes a song. One feels the benediction constantly being showered upon oneself.
Astride the bull, I observe the clouds above. Onward I go, no matter who may wish to call me back.
Enough for today.

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