The New Alchemy 33

ThirtyThird Discourse from the series of 34 discourses - The New Alchemy by Osho.
You can listen, download or read all of these discourses on oshoworld.com.

I am trying to do the meditations, making an effort, but the effort seems to be halfhearted. How can I make it wholehearted?
It is halfhearted because you are withholding yourself. When you are jumping, dancing, screaming, you are not moving totally into it, because of fear. That fear creates the division. You are afraid that if you move totally into it, it may not be possible for you to come back. That is the fear. If you express your madness wholeheartedly, there is fear that you may not be able to come back from the madness: that it may take over, it may possess you. This fear creates a division. The major part stays in control and only the minor part is allowed to move. That movement becomes false because it is just imposed. The major part is still in control.
Lose control and don’t be afraid. Fear is the barrier: the division comes through fear. Then you go on protecting yourself and, at the same time, allowing. The two are contradictory. And because of this contradiction, your effort is wasted. Energy is dissipated because you are fighting within yourself: one part is expressing, another part is controlling. You are contradictory, you are fighting. In this inner fight, your energy is wasted.
Either move totally, or don’t move. Decide: “If I am going to do it, then I will get totally involved. Otherwise, I’m not going to do it.” But remain whole.
And, I am here. If you cannot allow yourself to lose control here, while I am working on you, you will not be able to lose yourself totally when you are at home. Don’t be afraid to lose control, because I am here. I can help you in every way. And once you know that when you let go totally, once you know the bliss of it, the ecstasy of it even for a single moment, that total let-go will allow you to have a glimpse of the real. That glimpse will become the foundation. You will never be afraid again. Once you have moved to hell itself, to the very depths of madness, and you have come back again, for the first time you will be in control, never before. You were never in control before, because the fear was always there. The fear shows that you are not in control. Once you have gone to the very roots of your being and have returned, then you are in control. Then you are not afraid.
Remember this and use this camp more wisely, because while I am here watching you, observing you, you need not be afraid. If you are afraid here, then back at home you will not be able to let go.
This is the last day – be in a total let-go. And I promise you, there is nothing to fear. You are not going to lose anything by losing yourself in it, you are simply going to gain. You are not going to lose anything except your madness; you have nothing to lose.
Karl Marx has said somewhere that the proletariat have nothing to lose but their chains. I would like to say the same thing to you: man has nothing to lose except his chains, except his slavery, except his bondage, except his misery and hell. You have nothing to lose, don’t be afraid. What have you got to lose? A naked man, afraid of losing his clothes? What have you got to lose?
Move wholeheartedly. Once you move totally into the meditations there will be no problem. Once you have experienced it, once you have tasted the feeling, the freedom, the ecstasy that comes when you are in a total let-go, the fear will disappear forever. Only through freedom can fear disappear. And freedom can come only to a man who is whole, not divided, not divided into fragments.

Why meditate? Why seek?
I don’t say that you should meditate. I don’t insist that you should meditate. It is you who are seeking it. And you have to seek it.
It is just like a man who is ill and asks “Why take medicine?” – because you are ill! If you are not ill, then there is no need. Why seek health? There is no need if you are healthy. But if you are not healthy, then you have to seek health.
Meditation is not meaningful for a buddha. For one who has attained the wholeness of his being, meditation is a medicine, it has to be thrown out. Unless you become capable of throwing out your meditation, you are not healthy. So remember, meditation is not something to be carried forever and ever. The day will come when the meditation has worked and it is no longer needed. Then you can forget it.
People come to me and they ask me “When do you meditate?” Never, I don’t meditate at all – there is no need, because meditation is just medicinal. When you are ill, in conflict, in misery, it is needed.
And you go on asking “Why meditate?” I’m not saying that you should meditate. If you think you are happy, happy with yourself, if you think you have no problems, if you think you have no worries, no anguish, no anxiety, there is no need.
But there is. Everyone has a deep anguish within him, a deep madness within him. And because of that, you ask “Why meditate?” You ask because you are afraid. Through meditation you may lose your madness, your anxiety, your anguish – and you have become so accustomed to it, so habituated to it. The friendship has been going on so long that you will feel very lonely if you become healthy, very lonely. If a person has been living with a headache his whole life and suddenly the headache disappears, he will feel as if he has become headless. Now, he cannot feel his head.
We have become accustomed to misery. Miseries give you a sense of being. If you have nothing to complain about, you feel that you are no more. That’s why people are complaining every day with everyone. They are talking about their miseries and they are very happy when they talk about them. Look at a person when he talks about his miseries. He feels that he is something. The more he talks, the more he exaggerates his miseries, the greater he becomes. Look at a man’s face when he is talking about his miseries. He looks ecstatic.
If you go to a doctor and you think that you have cancer or you have TB or something big, and the doctor says “It’s nothing, this ordinary medicine will do,” you feel very disheartened: such a deep misery and he is saying that it is nothing, just an ordinary illness, and it will disappear using an ordinary medicine! You feel as if you have been dethroned. You were sitting on the throne of cancer and he says “This is just an ordinary disease, an ordinary medicine will cure it.” You talk about your miseries, you diseases, illnesses, you magnify them. With their magnification, you feel that you are magnified.
That’s why the mind, the ill mind, asks “Why meditate?” The very question, the why, the very why, means that you need meditation. A person who is not in need of meditation never asks why. Really, he stops asking, because all asking is part of anxiety. If you are silent within, peaceful, blissful, you don’t ask.
Philosophers are the most miserable men. They go on asking “Why this? Why that?” That constant why is an inner disease. Look at it in this way: only when something goes wrong do you ask why. When everything is okay, you never ask why. You ask why there is misery, you never ask why there is bliss. You ask why there is death, you never ask why there is life. You ask why there is hate, you never ask why there is love. When there is love, there is no question about it. You accept it totally. When there is hate, the question arises. When you are in bliss, no questioning, no inquiry, no philosophy arises out of it. When you are in anguish, suffering, you ask “Why this suffering? Why am I suffering? Why is the whole world suffering?” Only when something goes wrong does the question arise. When everything is okay, there is no questioning. You accept existence in its totality.
So remember this: if you have a “Why?” you need meditation, because without meditation the why will not disappear. And the answer comes only to those who have stopped questioning, because the answer can only be understood by those who are not in the mood to question. A questioning mind is not in the mood to hear. It goes on questioning.
Questions are created in the mind, just like leaves grow on a tree. If your mind is ill, questions will come out of it. If your mind has disappeared, and inner wholeness and health has been gained, questions will stop.
And when there is no question, you have got the ultimate answer. That ultimate answer is not in words. It is existential. You live it, you become it.
Now get ready for our morning meditation.

Spread the love