The Fish in the Sea is Not Thirsty 06

Sixth Discourse from the series of 15 discourses - The Fish in the Sea is Not Thirsty by Osho.
You can listen, download or read all of these discourses on oshoworld.com.

The first question:
How can rebellion be receptive, feminine, yes-saying? It feels so much like a no to all these old things. Is it just awareness and love that is it?
Revolution is no, rebellion is yes. Revolution is negative, rebellion is positive. Revolution says no to all that is wrong and should not be. Rebellion says yes to all that is beautiful, good. Revolution is past-oriented, rebellion is present-oriented. They are not synonymous.
Revolution is destructive, rebellion is creative. Revolution can never be feminine, receptive, yes-saying. That is impossible. But rebellion is always feminine, always receptive, always yes-saying.
I am talking about rebellion, I am not talking about revolution. Revolution is political, rebellion is spiritual. Revolution is of the crowd, rebellion is individual. You can be a rebel and you don’t need anyone else to be with you – you alone can be a rebel. But you alone cannot be a revolutionary. You will need a great organization, you will need a great army behind you.
The problem is one of the most significant things to be understood – that when you fight with someone, slowly, slowly you become like your enemy. It’s bound to be so; it follows a certain natural course. If you have to fight with someone, you have to be like him; otherwise you will not be able to fight with him. Choose your enemy very carefully. Friends can be chosen without much care – they don’t affect you so much – but enemies are very decisive.
All revolutions fail because of the enemy. The enemy decides the whole thing. The czars of Russia decided the structure of the Communist Party; the czars decided how Joseph Stalin was going to be. And he proved a bigger czar than any other czar and proved even more terrible than Ivan the Terrible.
Fighting with the czar, fighting with the imperialist structure of the czar, they learned the whole strategy, all the tactics. By the time they came into power, they were perfectly groomed by the czar, by the enemy. By the time they came into power, they started behaving in the same way against their enemies as the czar had been behaving with them.
This you can see all over the world again and again. Right now this is happening in Iran. The emperor is gone and a far worse regime has taken his place. Khomeini is proving at least ten times more violent than the emperor himself. Khomeini has learned the whole strategy from the emperor; his whole life he has suffered, struggled. That has been his school. Now, with a vengeance, he is proving himself to be a bigger emperor than the emperor himself. Now, every day, hundreds of people are being executed, killed.
This has always happened. Revolutions fail because they are reactions. Never be a revolutionary; be a rebel. A rebel is not against the past, the past is not even worth that. To be against it means to be focused on it, to be against it means you are paying too much attention to it. To be against it means you are hypnotized by it.
A few are for it – they are hypnotized. A few are against it – they are hypnotized. The rebel is one who simply sees the whole futility of it and, without fighting, drops it. If you fight, it will cling to you; if you fight, you have to cling to it. It will become your definition. Don’t let the past define you. Simply slip out of it, just like a snake slips out of the old skin – and never even looks back. That is the way of the rebel.
I teach the way of the rebel. That is the way of religion. Religion is rebellion, not revolution. And it gives immense respect to the individual. Everyone can be a rebel in his own way; just simply slip out of the past. There is no need to struggle with it – it is no longer there. If you go on fighting… You don’t have that long a life. The past has been very long – millions of years. How are you going to fight with it in a life that consists at the most seventy or eighty years? In this small life span, how are you going to fight with the past which is so huge, immense? The only wise way is to slip out of it. There is no need to fight with it. This has to be understood on many levels.
Politically, people fight with the past – the Hindu, the Christian, the Mohammedan past – and they become like the past they are fighting with. Psychologically, since Sigmund Freud, people are fighting with their own individual pasts – the childhood traumas. That too is big. If you have to sort it out and fight with everything and put everything right, your whole present, your whole future will be wasted in it. The past is already wasted, the present will be wasted in psychoanalysis. You will be fighting the whole future and fighting with the past. To fight with the past is to fight with a shadow. And you can never win. How can you win against a shadow? It does not exist in the first place. You have only to see that it is a shadow and that is that.
That is the basic difference between the psychological approach toward life and the religious approach. Religion simply says, “Be more meditative, be more aware. Be right now here.” In that very awareness, in that crystal-clear consciousness, you see that the past is an unnecessary burden. You need not carry it. No one can force you to carry it. You are carrying it on your own; it is your decision.
Your parents are not there to enforce it – it is already gone. Just shadows are lingering. See that they are shadows and you are free. In that very seeing is freedom. In that very understanding is liberation. And then all your energies are available to be herenow. You can bloom, you can blossom. Your life can have some fulfillment, some joy, some celebration.
Revolution is against the past and for the future – both are nonexistential. The past is no more and the future is not yet. And revolution consists only of the past and the future – against the past and for some future utopia. The word utopia is very beautiful. Literally it means “that which never comes.”
Rebellion consists of the present and only the present. It has no concern with the past, it has no concern with the future. It loves, lives, dances, sings, but its space is here and its time is now. Then you can be feminine, receptive, yea-saying.

The second question:
I once read somewhere that when Buddha was asked by a disciple to describe life briefly, he replied, “Misery.” Is this true?
It is true. But if a buddha had asked Buddha, “Describe briefly, what is life?” He would have said, “Bliss.” The answer has nothing to do with the question, the answer has something to do with the questioner. The answer depends on the questioner. A man like Gautam Buddha does not answer questions, he answers questioners. He is not saying anything about life, mind you – he is not saying anything about life. He is saying something about the life of the man who had asked the question.
Buddha is not saying that his own life is a misery; certainly it is not. No one has seen such grandeur, such bliss. No one has walked on this earth with such grace, such utter celebration. Humanity remembers no one who has been more beautiful. How can Buddha say that life is misery? You should remember that he is not talking about life as such; he is talking about the life of the man who had asked the question.
It becomes a problem because for forty-two years Buddha was continually answering people. Different people required different answers and sometimes contradictory answers. A buddha has to contradict himself almost every day.
Once it happened…

One morning a man asked Buddha, “Is there a God?”
Buddha said, “No.”
In the afternoon another person asked, “Is there a God?”
Buddha said, “Yes.”
In the evening a third person asked, “Is there a God?” Buddha kept quiet; he didn’t answer and remained silent.
Ananda, who was Buddha’s chief disciple, was present on all three occasions. He was continuously behind Buddha like a shadow – serving him, taking care of his body, looking after his needs. He was very puzzled. “In a single day, Buddha has said there is no God, then he has said there is a God and then he has kept silent too; he has not answered this way or that. These are the only three possibilities – all the possibilities exhausted, in a single day? All the answers have been given.” He could not sleep; he tossed and turned.
Buddha asked, “What is the matter with you tonight? Aren’t you tired or something?”
He replied, “I don’t want to disturb you, but unless you answer me this question I don’t think I will be able to sleep. In the morning you said no, in the afternoon you said yes and by the evening you remained silent, you didn’t answer. And the question was exactly the same.”
Buddha laughed and said, “The person who had come early in the morning and had asked ‘Is there a God?’ was a theist, was a believer. He wanted me to say yes so that his belief could become strengthened – and I don’t strengthen people’s beliefs because a believing mind is never a seeing mind. To believe is to remain in darkness. I wanted to shatter his belief. My answer had nothing to do with God; my answer had something to do with that man. He was there just to accumulate a little more evidence for his belief, so he could say to people, ‘Not only do I believe that there is a God; even Buddha says there is a God.’
“He had not come to understand. He simply wanted me to be a witness to his belief. His belief is just out of fear, a conditioning taught by others. His belief is nothing but a cover-up for his ignorance. I cannot be in any way a help to it. I had to shatter it. I had to shout no, emphatically. And it helped. ‘Buddha says no?’ An inquiry started in his being. Now he cannot be at rest with his belief. He will have to come – you will see.”
One day he came again and said to Buddha, “You did it; since that time my worship has become empty. Since that time I go to the temple, but the temple no longer has any deity in it. Since that time I know it is only a belief. If you say that God is not, who am I to say God is? You are so godly, you must be true. I have come to inquire. Now I come to you without any belief. Now I come to you open – to seek, to search. Now my question is not rooted in my knowledge.”
Buddha said to Ananda, “The second person was an atheist. He believed that there is no God. He had come in the same way as the first one: to have my support.” His belief was as stupid as the first one’s because to believe without knowing is to be stupid. Believe only when you have known, but then it is not a belief at all; it is a totally different experience. It is trust. It is not based on someone else’s experience, it is your own experience. You are reborn in it. It is not Hindu, Christian, Mohammedan. It is simply your experience. Even if the whole world says it is not so, you cannot deny it. Your trust cannot be shaken.
“The other person,” Buddha said, “was an atheist, hence I had to say yes, and I had to say yes emphatically.”
Ananda said, “And what about the third?”
Buddha said, “He was neither a theist, nor an atheist, so neither was yes needed nor was no needed. He was really an innocent soul, a very pure heart. His question was not out of his a priori knowledge, his question was really innocent. His question was a quest, an inquiry. I had to remain silent – because that was my answer to him. And he understood it.
“Weren’t you watching? When I remained silent and closed my eyes, he also closed his eyes and a great silence descended on him. Didn’t you observe? When he went his eyes were shining, his eyes were like lit candles. Didn’t you observe? When he left, he touched my feet, bowed down, thanked me, saying, ‘You answered rightly,’ although I had not answered him at all. That man tasted something of my silence, imbibed something of my being. That man was the true seeker.”

A true seeker does not need a verbal answer. A true seeker needs something existential – a penetration of the heart into the heart, a penetration of the soul into the soul. The real seeker wants the master to overlap him. The real seeker wants the master to enter his innermost core and stir the sleeping soul.
Your question is significant. You say, “I once read somewhere that when Buddha was asked by a disciple to describe life briefly, Buddha replied ‘Misery.’”
It is true. Many times he said to people that life is misery; many times he said to people that life is bliss – sat-chit-anand: it is truth, it is consciousness, it is bliss.
But people have gathered more from the answer that life is misery because it fits with their own experience. When Buddha says, “Life is joy,” it doesn’t fit with your experience. It falls on flat ears. You hear it, but you cannot understand it. It does not ring any bells in your heart.
So the answers that he gave to those who had come to know something of bliss, something of joy, something of song, have not become so important. It was only rarely that he would say that because it is only a rare person who will require that answer. Millions and millions need to be told, “Your life is misery.” It is so.
But why does Buddha say your life is misery, why? – he says it so that you can come out of it. You can have another kind of life – this is not the only kind. This is only one of the ways and the worst way possible. You have created a hell out of your life and if it can be a hell, it can also be a heaven; if it can be misery, it can be bliss. It is the same energy used wrongly that becomes misery, used rightly becomes bliss.
What is misery? – misery is feeling separate from existence, feeling isolated from existence, feeling alienated from existence. That is misery. What is bliss? – bliss is feeling one with existence, orgasmically one with existence, organically one with existence. Having an ego is misery and becoming egolessness is bliss. Both alternatives are open. The choice is yours.
Listening to Buddha’s answer that life is misery, don’t settle there. His answer is to unsettle you. His answer is to shock you. His answer is to wake you up to the fact that your life is misery. But people are really cunning, very cunning. They listen only to that which they want to listen to. People are so cunning that listening to the statement that life is misery, they say, “Then nothing can be done. If life is misery, I have to live a miserable life. This is all there is – so live it. Live it anyhow.”
Rather than creating a desire to transform themselves, they completely drown themselves in their misery – as if Buddha has given them a certificate that this is what life is all about. People are so cunning, they simply listen to that which they want to listen to.

“This is all a mistake, Your Honor,” said the first harlot. “I was walking along and this guy…”
“Just a minute, young lady,” said the judge. “Now, you have been here a dozen times. One hundred dollars fine. Next!”
“I am just a poor private secretary,” said the second girl, “and I was not doing anything…”
“I recognize you too, miss,” said the magistrate. “Two hundred dollars or ten days in jail. Next case!”
“Judge,” said the third girl, “I am a prostitute. I am not proud of it, but it is the only way I can support my three kids. I am guilty.”
“Young woman,” said the judge, “I like your honesty and because of it I am going to give you a break. Your case is dismissed and sergeant, give this girl fifty dollars out of the policemen’s fund.”
Now comes poor old Liebowitz, arrested for selling ties without a license. “Your Honor,” he pleaded. “I’m not gonna lie to you – I am a prostitute too…”

Beware of your mind. It is always trying ways and means, strategies, tactics, to remain as it is. It can wear masks, it can become religious, it can go to church, it can read the Bible and the Vedas – and still find the ways and means to remain itself.
Buddha’s statement has been taken by people as if he has said, “Life cannot be bliss; it is impossible. Life is misery and it is going to remain misery. To be miserable is life’s intrinsic quality.” People have taken it that way. That is not true. I know it is not true.
I say to you, your life is misery, but it need not be so. It is misery because you have not tried to transform it, you have not worked on it. It is misery because you are still unborn. It is misery because the opportunity is being wasted and you are not being creative. It is misery because you are not behaving intelligently.
Be intelligent. I don’t mean by “intelligence” be intellectual. Intellectuals are not necessarily intelligent people and intelligent people are not necessarily intellectuals. Almost always the case is that the intellectual is only a pretender, he is pseudo; by being intellectual he is trying to convince himself and others that he is intelligent.
What is the criterion of being an intelligent person? – only one criterion. If you can create bliss in your life you are intelligent; otherwise there is no other way to prove it. If you can create a paradise around yourself, if you can remain in a constant cheerfulness, then cheerfulness becomes just your very milieu – and you are intelligent.
Be intelligent and life is bliss; be stupid and life is misery. It all depends on you.

The third question:
And the mind goes bananas…
“Surrender, do your own thing.”
“Trust, live your life…”
Slowly it seems to me that I don't know anything and sometimes it feels very good. But still I want to know.
The mind never goes bananas – it is bananas. You say, “Surrender, do your own thing.” I will suggest that you put just two words between these two: “Surrender and then do your own thing.” Because once you have surrendered, you are not there, God is. Then doing your own thing is doing God’s thing: thy kingdom come, thy will be done.
First dissolve yourself, then godliness is your you, then godliness is your self. You have just missed those two simple words “and then.”
Surrender and then do your own thing. Trust and then live your own life. Surrender and trust are not two things; it is the same phenomenon. You can surrender only if you trust and you can trust only if you surrender. They go hand in hand. They are inseparable. If one happens, the other is bound to have already happened. Just those two words that are missing are creating trouble for you: and then.

A man came to St. Augustine and asked, “I am illiterate, very old, not much life is left. I cannot go into great austerities; the energy is ebbing. I am just on the verge of death. I have walked many miles just to see you and ask you something very simple. I have not come to listen to great philosophy – just something very simple, a single word will do. Just simply tell me a single word that I can keep in my heart and can follow for whatever time is left of my life.”
It is said St. Augustine closed his eyes. His disciples were very puzzled. It had never happened before. Great theologians had come, great philosophers had visited; they had asked very complicated, very difficult questions and Augustine was never known to meditate over those questions. His answers were immediate. “What is he doing? This old villager’s question – and he is meditating?”
For half an hour he meditated and then he opened his eyes and said, “I can say only one thing: love. And then whatever you do is right.”

Remember love. Love is the quintessence of the whole of religion, the very perfume of all the flowers that have bloomed in the name of religion – Buddha, Krishna, Christ, Mohammed, Zarathustra, Lao Tzu, Kabir, Farid, Nanak, Meera. All the flowers in all the ages that have ever bloomed have the same fragrance and that fragrance is love.
If you can love, then everything is allowed – because a loving man cannot do anything wrong. Love is the only commandment. If love is not there, even those ten commandments are not going to help at all. Ten commandments are not needed; they are needed only because you are not ready to fulfill the first and the only commandment. Those ten commandments are just poor substitutes for the single commandment: love. Remember, love and then whatever you do is good, is virtuous.
That’s what I go on saying in different ways. “Surrender and then do your own thing.” Listening to me you can misunderstand because doing your own thing has become the very flavor of the new generation. I am not saying the same thing. When I say, “Do your own thing,” I am not repeating a hippie slogan. When I say, “Do your own thing,” there is a condition preceding it: surrender, trust, and then… Otherwise, what are you going to do? Without surrender whatever you do will come out of your ego, will come out of your unconsciousness, will come out of your past. It can’t come from existence and it can’t come from a conscious, alert being.
Whatever comes from the unconscious is going to create more and more misery for you and for others. There is enough misery and there is no need for you to contribute more to it. There is more than enough. If you want to contribute something to it, please, first fulfill the basic requirement of surrender and trust.
Just meditate for a moment. If the ego is not there, then who is doing? – God is doing through you and you are just a hollow bamboo. On his lips you become a flute. The song is his. You will not feel so puzzled.
You say, “Slowly it seems to me that I don’t know anything and sometimes it feels very good.” You are going really mighty slow. You say, “Slowly it seems to me…” How can it seem slowly? Either you see it instantly, or you don’t see it. What do you mean by “slowly”? These things are not gradual. These things are breakthroughs, sudden, like lightning in the dark night.
When I say something, if you are available in that moment, if you are in tune with me in that moment, there will be a lightning experience. A tremendous yes will arise in your heart; a flood of a new vision, of a new clarity, of a new transparency. You will see what is what. In that very seeing, that which is wrong drops out of your hands – and only the wrong has to be dropped. The right is always there. It cannot be dropped, it is only covered by the wrong. The wrong is a foreign element, the right is your natural being.
You say, “Slowly it seems to me that I don’t know anything…” No, it cannot happen slowly. It never happens slowly. If you listen to me, you are bound to experience that you don’t know anything at all. What do you know? I am not talking about engineering, medicine, geography, history; I am not talking about all that nonsense – utilitarian nonsense. But what do you know of reality, of truth, godliness, love, meditation? What do you know about this mysterious existence that surrounds you? What do you know about yourself? – with whom you have lived from eternity and you are going to live for eternity. What do you know about the person who you are?

A great mathematician, P. D. Ouspensky, went to see a very strange mystic, George Gurdjieff. Ouspensky was already world-famous and Gurdjieff was not known at all; no one had heard about him. Ouspensky had already written one of the greatest books in the world, Tertium Organum. It is said that there are only three great books in the world. The first was written by Aristotle, Organum, the second was written by Bacon, Novum Organum, the third was written by P. D. Ouspensky, Tertium Organum. First principle, second principle, third principle – third canon of thought; that is the meaning of Tertium Organum.
Ouspensky declared in the beginning of the book that the third existed even before the first ever existed. It is not just pride, it is not just ego – it is true. He had discovered something of immense value. He had contributed something really valuable to the world of mathematics, logic, metaphysics. He was known all over the world. The book was being translated into many languages.
Gurdjieff was not known at all – just a small group of people knew about him. And it was not easy to approach him either as he was not available publicly. Ouspensky had great difficulties and had to wait three months to see him. He had to try many people because only those who belonged to the inner circle of Gurdjieff were allowed to bring some new guest.
The day he was ushered into the presence of Gurdjieff, twelve people were sitting there. Gurdjieff was sat in the middle, with all the others surrounding him. There was absolute silence. And the man who had brought Ouspensky, also sat there and closed his eyes. Now, Ouspensky started feeling very restless; he was not even introduced. He started feeling a little embarrassed too. “What is he doing here? And what are these people doing here, just sitting silently?”
Half an hour passed. And now almost an hour had passed. Ouspensky started thinking, “What am I sitting here for?” But he couldn’t leave because it looked so impolite to disturb the silence. The silence was so tangible, the silence was sitting there like a cloud.
And then Gurdjieff looked at Ouspensky and said, “You are feeling very restless. It is natural. You come from a restless world, you don’t know the ways of silence. Why did you want to see me? Why have you been haunting me for three months?”
Ouspensky said, “I wanted to ask you a few questions.” Gurdjieff gave him a blank sheet of paper and said to him, “Go in the other room and on one side write whatever you know and on the other side whatever you don’t know. Then come back – because I will answer only that which you don’t know. If you already know it, why bother about it?”
It was a cold Moscow night, the snow was falling and Ouspensky remembers, “Going in the other room, I started perspiring. For the first time, with such emphasis, I was made aware that I know nothing. Just to save my prestige, I wanted to write something that I know, this or that. I thought it over, my mind went round and round, but basically I knew nothing. I thought to myself, ‘Do I know anything about love? I have heard much, I have read much – but any experience? That man is not going to let it pass easily.’ He will ask, ‘Any experience?’” And he had seen those eyes which can go to the very core of your being. “You cannot deceive that man. Do I know anything about meditation? Do I know anything about existence? Do I know anything of any real significance?”
He waited and waited and couldn’t find anything. Finally he came out and gave the paper back – as blank as before – and said, “Excuse me, I don’t know anything. I know nothing. I have been a fool up to now. I had always believed that I knew this and I knew that. You have shattered me in a single blow.”
Gurdjieff looked at Ouspensky and his eyes were those of benediction. He said, “You are accepted – because only those who know that they know not can be accepted in my circle; only they are capable of learning.”

Know that you know nothing – and don’t go slowly. It is not a question of gradual discovery; it is a sudden lightning experience. Each morning I am trying to show it to you, shouting at you that you don’t know anything – anything that is of any relevance, anything that is of any value, anything that is really going to transform you, anything that you will be able to carry beyond death to the other shore.
But Varidhi says, “Slowly it seems to me that I don’t know anything and sometimes it feels very good.”
Even that – a little glimpse, a gradual thing, just a little… As if a window opens and closes, but a little breeze comes in, or a ray of the sun – still that feels good. If it feels good, go deeper into it, go deeper into ignorance, go deeper into not knowing, go deeper and deeper into a state where knowledgeability is just garbage. And great will be your experience – of great joy and freedom because knowledge is a bondage, borrowed knowledge is a bondage. One’s own experience is not knowledge; it is wisdom, it is freedom.
Finally you say. “But still I want to know.” That’s good. Start from the state of not knowing and you will become capable of knowing. Start from a clean slate and let existence write something on it. Efface all that you distinguish. Before existence, just be nude, innocent, ignorant, a child. And you will know. We are here to know, but that knowing does not come through scriptures, that knowing comes through silence. The knowledgeable mind cannot be silent. It is so full of knowledge, so full of thoughts, it cannot empty itself.
Empty yourself. Empty yourself of all knowledge, dreams, desires. Throw all this rotten furniture out of yourself. Create a pure space and in that pure space you become capable of attracting the ultimate toward you; you become a magnetic force. You become the host and godliness comes as a guest.

The fourth question:
Feeling a rapidly growing uneasiness about my state as a non-sannyasin, I would like to ask you. “What is your art?” How could you find the loopholes in my mind so easily and in what way did you bypass my well-developed ego? When I arrived ten days ago I felt rather balanced – grateful, yes, for what you had shown me already – but nevertheless full of courage to face and resist any untimely attempt that would “sannyasin” me. But look at me now: wandering around in the ashram off-balance, eyes full of awe, crying time and again at completely unpredictable moments and showing all the signs of one who is in love. Osho, I love you, so what can I do? And how did you manage it?
I will tell you a story – that’s how I manage, that’s my art.

Haggarty ran a red light and plowed headlong into a car driven by Father Cogan. The auto turned over three times and the priest thrown from the vehicle lay stunned beside the road.
Haggarty rushed over and said, “I am terribly sorry, Father!”
“Saints above!” said the shaken priest. “You almost killed me!”
“Here,” said Haggarty, “I have got a little sacramental Jack Daniels. Take some and you will feel a lot better!”
Father Cogan took a couple of large swigs and continued his tirade. “What were you thinking about, man? You nearly launched me into eternity!”
“I am sorry, Father,” said Haggarty. “Take a few more sips, it will ease your nerves.”
After the priest had almost finished the entire bottle, he said, “Why don’t you have a drink?”
“No thanks, your reverence,” said Haggarty, “I will just sit here and wait for the police!”

So I am just waiting till the day, which is coming closer and closer. It is the nineteenth of April that you are going to be assassinated.
Something really beautiful is happening to you. All that ego that seems so strong is not so strong; it is just your belief that keeps it alive. Once you start understanding, it starts dying. It is all kinds of inhibitions that keep your tears repressed. You have been told again and again that you are not a woman, you are a man – be a boy, don’t be a girl. Crying and weeping is for girls, not for you.
Nature hasn’t made any distinction. There are as many tear glands in male eyes as there are in female eyes. Tears are needed, they do miracles. But repressing the tears is a subtle strategy to repress emotions. Tears are deep down connected with the heart. Heads don’t cry, only hearts. Repressing the tears is a subtle trick to repress the heart.
You have lived in the head, high and proud, thinking your ego very strong. Now you have fallen into wrong company – these are mad people here. Anyone can start crying any moment. Crying is thought to be sacred here because tears come directly from the heart. There is no other prayer which is more beautiful than tears.
It is not that tears come only when you are in suffering, pain, and sadness. That too is a wrong idea that has been given to you – that tears come only when you are in pain. No. Tears come whenever anything is overflowing. It may be pain, it may be pleasure, it may be agony, it may be ecstasy; anything overflowing. Tears are symbols of something overflowing.
And something wants to overflow, something wants to burst forth. You have repressed all that is beautiful for a long, long time. Now, being in my buddhafield, it is impossible to remain in your senses; it is impossible not to fall in love. You don’t have a heart of stone. You have a heart which is beating with existence, full of love – repressed, but ready to burst forth any moment; just waiting for its opportunity. That opportunity has come.
Sannyas is a new way of life, a new style, a new philosophy – to live totally, with tears, with smiles, with love, with laughter, with anger, with hate, with compassion. To live in all the dimensions of the mind, the being, and to live totally. The miracle is that if you live totally, slowly, slowly all that is negative starts disappearing of its own accord. Finally, ultimately, only that which has always been called virtue remains. The evil evaporates.
No repression is recommended, no suppression is supported. I teach you to be natural; that’s why you have fallen in love with me. It is really an indirect way of falling in love with your own nature. I am just an excuse. Just go on sipping a little more; only three days are left. Empty the bottle, so the day you take sannyas – or as you say, “I was full of courage to face and resist any untimely attempt that would ‘sannyasin’ me.”
You can call it “sannyasinate,” and that will be far better because it is an assassination. Drink as much as you can so the death is not painful. Drink of me as much as you can before your sannyas happens, so that it really happens. It is going to really happen because you had not come to be a sannyasin. You had come with all kinds of resistances; you were afraid that it might happen untimely. You wanted to take it by your own decision, in your own time.
Whenever one becomes a sannyasin by his own decision, in his own time, he misses the whole point. Let it be a happening, not a doing on your part. Surrender cannot be done. It can only be gratefully accepted. And that’s what is happening. You are fortunate, you are blessed.

The fifth question:
Why am I so afraid of hell?
There is no need to be afraid of hell because there are many hells – and there is an Indian hell too. Everyone is asked at the gate, “Which hell do you want to choose?” Choose the Indian and you will be happy ever afterward.

A fellow dies and is met by Saint Peter at the Gate. “Before you can get in you must spend six months in hell. You have a choice: either the regular hell or the Indian hell.”
“What is the difference?” asked the fellow.
“In the regular hell,” explained Saint Peter, “they tie you to a stake, pour gasoline over you, strike the match, and you burn for twelve hours and then you rest for twelve hours.”
“And the Indian hell?”
“They tie you to a stake, pour gasoline over you, set you on fire and you burn for twelve hours and then rest for twelve hours.”
“But I don’t see the difference,” said the man.
“If I were you,” advised Saint Peter, “I would take the Indian hell – someone usually forgets the matches or the gasoline…”

So you need not be so afraid – wise people always choose the Indian hell. But I can understand why you are afraid. Fear is a natural instinct in man and it has been exploited by the priests down the ages. Fear and greed are two sides of the same coin and they have exploited both.
It is out of fear that they have created hell, just to exploit your fear instinct. If you can be made really afraid then you will be in the hands of the priests. Or if you can be made really very greedy for heaven, then too you will be in the hands of the priests. The priests have been telling you, “We will protect you from hell and we will help you to enter heaven. All that you need is just to remain obedient to us.”
And because of fear and greed, man has remained obedient to the priests. Parents have used… That’s how everyone is brought up, in fear and greed. If you do one thing, you are punished; if you do something else, you are rewarded. It is the same story. In the school, college, university, the same story repeated, again and again: punished for something, rewarded for something else. It is greed and fear which are being enforced again and again.
By the time you leave the university, you have been conditioned, totally conditioned. Your whole life is going to remain the same if you don’t become alert, if you don’t become aware of the whole situation, if you don’t gather courage to get out of the prison that has been made by the society for you. That prison consists of greed and fear.
There is no hell, regular or Indian. There is no heaven either. Hell and heaven are psychological states, not geographical situations. Forget all about that childish nonsense. You can be in hell right now, or in heaven right now. The only way to be in heaven is to be without the mind and the only way to be in hell is to be only the mind and nothing else.
The constant traffic of thoughts is your misery. If this traffic disappears and you are left silent, alone, with no thought surrounding you, in that moment of peace, silence, stillness you are in heaven – you are heaven. That’s what meditation is all about.
You needn’t be worried, you needn’t be afraid of any heaven or hell. Just meditate, become more and more silent, more and more detached from the mind, more and more disidentified from your thought process. Just be a witness. Go on witnessing whatever passes in the mind and the very process of witnessing has the whole secret in it. Slowly, slowly you will see that fewer and fewer thoughts are coming to you, because you are no longer welcoming them, because you don’t care, because you don’t cling, because you don’t choose this against that, and because you are no longer judgmental. Good thoughts, bad thoughts, all are alike. Great thoughts, small thoughts, all are alike. You remain aloof, distant, a watcher on the hill.
Slowly, slowly less and less traffic. And one day suddenly intervals start happening. An interval for a few seconds and you will have a taste of the unknown. Once you have tasted something of no-mind, your real life begins. Then all is joy, all is benediction.
But to be meditative, great intelligence is needed. You can’t go on being the way you are, you can’t go on being stupid. You have to be very alert.

Toward the end of World War II, when the Italians were fighting the Germans, the Nazi soldiers came up with a scheme to kill many of Mussolini’s men. They simply yelled, “Hey, Luigi!” When an Italian infantryman stuck his head up and answered, “Si?” Boom! He was dead.
That’s all the Krauts did: “Luigi?” “Si?” Boom!
After thousands of Italians had been wiped out, they decided to retaliate. They figured that every German’s name was Hans. So an Italian captain shouted, “Hey, Hans!”
“Hey, Hans!” he repeated.
“Is that you, Luigi?”

The last question:
Why is modern man feeling so lonely?
Man has always felt lonely because man basically is alone. We are born alone, we die alone. In the middle we can only pretend to be together. Aloneness remains unaffected. It becomes an undercurrent, it goes underground.
Man has always been alone, but modern man is feeling it more for a certain reason – for the first time modern man has time enough to think about his own self. In the past, the struggle for bread and butter was so much that it kept people occupied from the early morning to the late night. Even then they were not able to feed themselves and their children enough.
And that’s exactly the case in the East today. Modern man in an Indian village is not feeling lonely. He has no time to feel anything at all. He feels hungry, not lonely. He needs a shelter, a house. These things – feelings of loneliness – he cannot afford. These feelings start surfacing only when a society becomes a little affluent.
When people are well-fed, well-clothed, well-sheltered, well-employed – when the ordinary necessities of life are fulfilled – then the real problems of life arise. Suddenly, one becomes aware. “I am lonely, even in a crowd I am lonely.” This is a higher need. There is a hierarchy of needs.
First, physical needs come. If physical needs are not fulfilled, you will not have psychological needs. Once physical needs are fulfilled, then psychological needs arise – those are higher. One thinks of music, poetry, painting; one thinks of art, aesthetics – those are higher needs. One thinks of Shakespeare, Milton, Kali Das, Rabindranath, Kahlil Gibran; one thinks of Wagner, Beethoven, Leonardo, Van Gogh, Picasso. These are higher needs.
A hungry man cannot understand Beethoven. However great the music is, it cannot fill his stomach. And he is so hungry that he would like to kill the musician rather than listen to the music. He will not bother about great works of art; rather, he will be interested in Karl Marx and his Communist Manifesto. Once physical needs are fulfilled, psychological needs arise.
You will be surprised to know that I receive many letters from Soviet Russia. They cannot even write to me directly because those letters will never arrive. First the Russian government and then the Indian government… If there were only the Indian government there would be a chance. But the Russian government… And they are very methodical. So those letters are given to visitors, tourists, then to Switzerland and are dropped in London, Berlin, Paris, and then they come to me.
Many people write that they would like to come here, but it is impossible. My books are being read, but in an underground way. They are circulating from one person to another. But officially you cannot carry my books in a communist country.
Russia is coming closer and closer to that point where physical needs are fulfilled and psychological needs will arise. Spiritual needs are the highest in the hierarchy. Once psychological needs are fulfilled – you have heard great music, you have seen great paintings, you have read great poetry – then what? Sooner or later, those things also prove to be games, beautiful games, but games all the same.
Then the ultimate starts knocking on your doors and when the ultimate knocks on your doors you feel really lonely; lonely in this whole universe. And that is the beginning of meditation. If you feel lonely and if your feeling of loneliness has some penetration, intensity, passion in it, you will start meditating.
Meditation is a way to come to terms with one’s loneliness, to have an encounter with one’s own loneliness rather than escaping from it; just diving deep into it and seeing what exactly it is. You are in for a surprise. If you go into your loneliness, you will be surprised. At the very center of it, it is not lonely at all – there resides aloneness which is a totally different phenomenon.
The circumference consists of loneliness and the center consists of aloneness. The circumference consists of solitariness and the center of solitude. Once you have known your beautiful aloneness, you will be a totally different person. You will never feel lonely. Even in the mountains or in the deserts where you will be absolutely alone, you will not feel lonely – because in your aloneness you will know existence is with you, in your aloneness you are so deeply rooted in existence that who cares whether there is someone else outside or not? You are so full inside, so rich inside…
Right now, even in the crowd you are lonely. And I am saying: if you know your aloneness, even in your loneliness you will not be lonely.
But modern man is suffering.

Ira quit college, got himself a backpack and began hitchhiking around the United States. After he had been gone more than a year, he telephoned home. “Hello, Ma. How are you?”
“Just fine, son. When are you coming home? I will fix you some chopped liver and chicken soup and a beautiful pot roast.”
“I am still pretty far away.”
“Oh, son,” cried the desperate woman, “just come home and I will fix your favorite oatmeal cookies.”
“I don’t like oatmeal cookies!” said the boy.
“You don’t?” asked the woman.
“Say,” said Ira, “is this Century 57682?”
“Then I must have the wrong number.”
“Does that mean you are not coming?” asked the woman.

People are really lonely. The woman asked, “Does that mean you are not coming?” Man has never been so lonely because man has never before been able to fulfill the lower desires, needs. For the first time in the West, man has been able to fulfill all lower desires; now the higher desires are asserting themselves. This is a good sign. It looks like a curse. It is not. It is a blessing in disguise.
The days of the West turning to the East have come. The misery is that the East is turning to the West. Man seems to be so foolish. By the time the West turns East, you will find the East has become West. And this way the sorry-go-round continues.
You can see it here. Why don’t you see so many Indians here? –this is not their need. What I am sharing here has nothing to do with them. The desire for it has not yet arisen. Even when sometimes they come, they don’t ask about meditation, they don’t ask about sannyas, they don’t ask about love – no, not at all.
Just the other day I received a letter saying, “Why don’t you open a few hospitals, a few schools? Why don’t you teach your sannyasins to serve the poor?” The poor have been served down the ages and they are still poor. Poverty cannot be destroyed by serving the poor. That much is absolutely certain. Poverty can be destroyed only if a new vision of life is given to them. They are poor because their philosophy makes them poor, they are poor because their very attitude toward life keeps them poor. They are poor because of themselves. They don’t need compassion, they need education. They don’t need service, they need to be shaken into awareness. But no one wants to be shaken out of their own dreams and sleep. Hence they are angry at me.
Hospitals are there, a few more can be added. Schools are there, a few more can be added. But that is not going to help. That is like throwing teaspoons of color in the ocean; it is not going to color the ocean.
We have to change the whole fundamental. Why has India remained so poor for so many centuries? – the reason must be very deep, the reason is that the Indian mind is life-negative. The reason is that the Indian mind lives in a division: this world and that. The reason is that the Indian mind is against materialism. If you are against materialism, you will remain poor and that is your own decision. It is your own fate decided by you yourself.
Real spirituality has to be based on scientific materialism. Matter and consciousness are not two things, just as the body and the consciousness are not two things. They are aspects of one phenomenon. This world has to be loved, then this world yields, gives its secrets to you.
The West has committed one mistake – there is no spiritualism and only materialism is enough. Their basic needs are fulfilled, but the higher needs are torturing them, making them commit suicide or go mad. The East has committed the other mistake – that spiritualism can exist without materialism. The East has become like a ghost, a soul without a body. The West is a body without a soul, a corpse; the East is a ghost, a soul without a body.
My effort here is to somehow bring East and West closer and closer, so everyone can have a body and everyone can have a soul. Materialism and spiritualism should be two aspects of one life vision. Then poverty will disappear. The earth is rich enough and man’s intelligence is there. We can make it even richer.
But you don’t see Indians here, not many, very few. Those few are those who are intelligent enough to see that even if lower desires are fulfilled, nothing will be fulfilled. Those few are born in the East, but they are really contemporary, they are modern. They have seen what has happened in the West. Even if India becomes rich – and it is going to happen. The West is not happy; even if India becomes rich it is not going to be happy either. So happiness has to be searched for in some other dimension.
That dimension is: entering your loneliness till you come upon aloneness. The first glimpse of aloneness is satori. The second glimpse, the second satori: you become established in your aloneness, rooted. And the third, the ultimate satori, what we call samadhi in India, is the state when you are no longer separate from your aloneness – you are your aloneness.
One starts overflowing like a fountain. Out of that aloneness arises the fragrance of love, out of that aloneness arises creativity – because out of that aloneness existence starts flowing. You become a hollow bamboo… Existence starts singing. But the song is always that of existence.
Enough for today.

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