BUDDHA AND BUDDHIST MASTERS

The Dhammapada Vol 12 10

Tenth Discourse from the series of 10 discourses - The Dhammapada Vol 12 by Osho.
You can listen, download or read all of these discourses on oshoworld.com.


The first question:
Osho,
You continually speak of dropping the ego, but how can I do so when I can't distinguish between what is the ego and what is my true nature?
The ego cannot be dropped. It is just like darkness; you cannot drop darkness, you can only bring light in. The moment light is, darkness is no more. You can say this is the way to drop darkness, but don’t take it literally. Darkness does not exist at all, it is the absence of light; hence you cannot do anything directly to it. You can only do something to light, either bring light in or take it out. If you want darkness, put the light off; if you don’t want darkness, put the light on. The ego cannot be dropped.
Meditation can be learned. Meditation functions as a light, meditation is light. Become light, and you will not find the ego anywhere.
If you want to drop it, you will be in trouble because who is this one who wants to drop it? It is the ego itself now playing a new game, the game called spirituality, religion, self-realization. Who is asking this question? It is the ego itself, befooling you. And when the ego asks how the ego can be dropped, naturally you think, “This can’t be the ego. How can ego ask for its own suicide?” That’s how ego goes on deceiving you.
Your self-nature has no questions, it needs no answers. Your self-nature is absolutely light, full of light. It knows no darkness, it has never met any darkness.

Bodhidharma reached China. He was one of the greatest buddhas of all the ages. After Gautam Buddha, Bodhidharma seems to be the most precious person in the Buddhist heritage. When he reached China, his fame had reached far ahead of him. Even Emperor Wu who ruled over the whole of China came to receive him at the boundary. And the conversation that transpired between the two is of immense importance. It has to be meditated upon again and again. It has a tremendous message for you all.
Emperor Wu was not only a great emperor, he was very religious too, and he had done much for Gautam Buddha’s message. In fact no other person except Emperor Ashoka had done as much for Buddhism as Emperor Wu had done. He had transformed the whole of China into a Buddhist world. He had made thousands of temples for Buddha, hundreds of monasteries, and millions of Buddhist monks were supported by the royal treasury. He had all the Buddhist scriptures translated into Chinese. Thousands of scholars worked for years, almost their whole lives. He had done great work. Naturally, he wanted to know from Bodhidharma, “What is my merit?”
The first thing that he asked Bodhidharma was, “I have done so much, what is my merit? What have I gained? What virtue?”
Bodhidharma looked at him very sternly. If you have seen Bodhidharma’s pictures you will be puzzled. He looks more like a lion than like a man – very fierce; his eyes are very penetrating, like swords. He must have cut Wu down to his proper size just by his look.
Wu started trembling, he had never come up against such a man. He had conquered many enemies, he had conquered many dangerous kings, but Bodhidharma was the most dangerous person he had come across. It was a cool morning, but he started perspiring.
Bodhidharma said, “Merit? Virtue? You are stupid. Now this is the ego, and nothing else, getting nourished and fat in the name of religion and spirituality. You are bound for the seventh hell, mind you!”
Wu could not believe his ears, could not believe his eyes. He said, “But thousands of other monks have come from India and they have all said, ‘Wu, you have done a great service to Buddha’s religion. You are a beloved of Buddha, you are blessed by Buddha.’ But you are saying just the opposite!”
Bodhidharma said, “Forget all about those monks. They were buttressing you, they were praising you because they knew that that’s what you expected from them. They are cunning and crafty people. They know nothing of Buddha and his message. I am a buddha myself, I am not a Buddhist monk. I speak on my own authority, and I say to you: you are cursed!”
Emperor Wu asked, “Do you mean to say there is nothing holy, nothing spiritual, in all these beautiful acts?”
Bodhidharma said, “No action is holy, because every action arises out of the ego. When you forget all about actions, when you disappear and things start happening on their own and you cannot claim that they are your actions, only then does something of immense value, of immense beauty, penetrate your life.
“Spirituality has nothing to do with doing, spirituality is the fragrance of being, and you are not a being yet. You are still concerned that you have done this, you have done that.
“The ego is a doer, your self-nature is a non-doer. Your self-nature simply allows existence to flow through it, it simply allows the ultimate law to function through it. Your self-nature is just a hollow bamboo. In the hands of the ultimate nature it becomes a flute and a beautiful song is born out of it. But the flute cannot say, ‘This is my song. What is my merit? What am I going to gain out of it? To what heaven, to what joys will I attain?’ The bamboo flute is just nothing. Its whole being consists of nothingness. That’s why the song can flow through it, it is utterly empty.”
Shocked – but he could see the point – Wu said, “You are the first man who is not impressed by my great power, money, my empire. You are the first man with whom I am feeling that something is possible. How can I drop this ego? Yes, I can understand your point. First, I was claiming a great empire, now I am claiming something of the beyond. But the claim is the same and the claimer is the same. I can see your point. I bow my head to you. I am grateful that you have not been polite to me, that you have hit me hard. You have wounded me, but I am thankful. How can I drop this ego?”
Bodhidharma asked, “What ego do you want to drop? Again you want to do something. If you drop it, then the ego will persist. This is the subtle game of ego: if you drop it, the ego starts coming from the back door. It starts saying, ‘Look! I have dropped the ego. Look how humble I am. There is nobody who is more humble than me. I am the humblest person in the world, just dust under your feet.’ But look into the eyes, look into the heart of the man who is claiming that he is the humblest person – it is the same ego. It is not egolessness. Egolessness cannot claim humbleness. Egolessness cannot claim egolessness. Egolessness cannot claim at all, it simply falls silent. It cannot even say, ‘I am not, I am nobody’ because the “I” can exist in any claim whatsoever.”
The emperor asked, “Then help me because I cannot get out of this ego.”
Bodhidharma said, “Come early in the morning, three o’clock. Come alone, don’t bring anybody with you. And don’t be worried, I will finish it once and for all.”
The emperor could not sleep the whole night. “What does this mad monk mean? He will finish it once and for all? The man looks so dangerous, and three o’clock is not the time to meet such a person. He can do anything, he’s so unpredictable. And he has asked that I should go alone.”
Many times he decided not to go, but the pull was great, the man had something magnetic. He had to go. At three o’clock he found himself getting ready. He went. Bodhidharma was staying outside the town in a small temple. It was dark, and Bodhidharma was waiting with his staff in his hand.
He said, “So you have come, although you hesitated much. You decided many times not to come. You could not sleep the whole night, neither did you allow me to sleep, because I had to go on pulling you. But now that you have come, things can be settled forever. Sit in front of me, close your eyes, go in, and find out where the ego is. And don’t fall asleep because I am sitting in front of you with my staff. I will hit you on the head immediately if you go to sleep. Be alert because when I hit I hit really hard. And if you can find the ego, just show me “This is the ego” and I will finish it. First you have to find it, where it is.”
The emperor followed the logic. He closed his eyes. It was impossible to fall asleep. Bodhidharma was sitting there. Even with closed eyes he could see Bodhidharma sitting there, and once in a while Bodhidharma would hit his staff on the ground just to let him know “I am here. You go on searching.”
Two hours passed, three hours passed. Wu looked and looked. For the first time he looked inside. In fact, if you look inside and you can remain alert, just for forty-eight minutes… That is the limit. The ego can go on eluding you only for forty-eight minutes, not more than that. This has been the experience of all the buddhas down the ages. Now, don’t ask why forty-eight minutes, because that’s impossible to answer. It is just like at a hundred degrees water evaporates, nobody asks why. Why not at ninety-nine degrees? Why not at a hundred and one degrees? There is no question about it, it is simply so, the law of nature. At a hundred degrees water evaporates. Exactly like that, if you can remain alert and watchful continuously without wavering, for forty-eight minutes, your whole inner being becomes so quiet, so silent, so peaceful, so alert. For the first time there is clarity, transparent clarity. You can see everything that is there.
Wu looked and looked and looked and could not find any ego, because ego cannot be found. It is fictitious, it is just your idea, it has no substance in it. It is not even a shadow, what to say about substance? It exists only because you have not looked in. Looking in, you discover your light which is always there, you just have to look in and find it. He was looking for the ego, but he found the light – because the ego is not there and the light is there. He had gone to search for the ego but he found the light. And once the light was found there was no darkness.
Three hours passed and the sun was rising, and Wu’s face was transformed. He had a new beauty, a new grace. Bodhidharma laughed and he said, “Now, open your eyes. You have not been able to find it… I have finished it forever.”
Wu opened his eyes, touched Bodhidharma’s feet and said, “Master, you have not done anything and yet you have finished it.” That’s the miracle of a master; he never does a thing, and yet the ultimate miracle happens in his presence. His presence is the miracle, his presence has the magical quality.

You need not drop the ego. Just look in, search for where it is – first find it. Don’t worry about self-nature right now. Just go in, search for the ego, and you will not find it; instead you will find your self-nature, luminous, fragrant like a lotus flower. One never comes across such beauty anywhere else. It is the most beautiful experience of life. And once you have seen your own lotus of light, your own lotus blossoming, the ego is finished forever. Then you will not ask such meaningless questions.
“How to distinguish,” you ask, “…between what is the ego and what is my true nature?” Either the ego is there and the true nature is not known, or the true nature is known and there is no ego left. You cannot have both, hence you cannot make any distinctions; you cannot distinguish them, they can’t be present together. Only one can be present.
Right now, whatsoever you are is ego, so don’t be worried about distinguishing. If there were no ego, the question would not have arisen at all. Self-nature knows no questions; self-nature is ecstasy, not a problem.

The second question:
Osho,
Please tell me what the difference is between surrendering to a master and following a master?
There is a great difference, they are poles apart. Surrendering to a master is something of the heart, it is a love affair, it is not an intellectual conviction. It is not that you are convinced intellectually that what the master is saying is right. It is not philosophical. What the master is saying may be absurd. In fact, it is bound to be absurd because he speaks from a totally different kind of vision, from the peak where opposites meet; where the ultimate synthesis has happened; where life and death are one; where man and woman are one; where negative and positive are one. Hence whatsoever he says is bound to be paradoxical.
Surrendering to a master means you have felt his grace. It is not a question of his knowledgeability. He may not be knowledgeable at all. Jesus was not knowledgeable. Mohammed was not even able to read or write, he was not even able to sign his own name. But thousands fell in deep love with the man. He had no logical acumen. If you go into the Koran you will not find great philosophy, just simple statements which can be refuted very easily. But the man must have had something totally different. So many people gravitated toward him. Now, you cannot see gravitation: it is an energy, it is a force, invisible. It is a communion, heart to heart. The master’s presence overwhelms you, then surrender happens.
It is not something that you do. You cannot do surrender, remember. Surrender done is not surrender at all, because you can withdraw. Any day you can say, “I take back my surrender.” Surrender is something that happens. Sometimes it happens even in spite of you, you never wanted it to happen, you resisted it. People resist to the very end. When it becomes impossible to resist, only then do they surrender, because surrender goes against the ego, it shatters your ego. The very idea of surrendering to someone is against your whole upbringing, your whole education, your whole psychology. You are brought up with the idea of having a strong ego.
Surrender means you are dropping your whole upbringing, you are pushing aside all your knowledge, you are bypassing your mind, you are allowing the heart to say “Yes!” – a total yes. It is a happening, not a doing. It is just like falling in love.
What is the difference between falling in love and marriage, an arranged marriage? Exactly that is the difference between surrendering to a master and following a master. Surrendering to a master is like falling in love. The force is irresistible. You are behaving like a madman. The master is mad, now you are becoming mad. The master is like a flame, and you are moving toward the flame like a moth, to your own death.
Following a master is a safe phenomenon, like an arranged marriage. You are moving on safe ground in an arranged marriage. You think about everything – the family of the woman or the man, their economic status, their social prestige, everything except love. It is a calculated phenomenon. There is no risk in it. And not to take any chances you go to the astrologer so that he can even predict the future, how things will be going in the future: “Will I be sailing safely?”
You make everything safe before you take the plunge. It is not a jump, it is a calculated step. And that’s what following a master is. It is intellectual, it is of the mind, it is of the head. You are trying to understand intellectually, logically what he is saying. Does it appeal to you?
Who are you and what do you know? And how are you going to judge whether he is right or wrong? – according to your prejudices, according to your conditioning? A Christian coming across Jesus may be impressed, but not a Jew, because their conditioning differs.
I have heard about two hippies…

They were hungry and had no money, and on a Sunday morning they were just passing by a church when an idea occurred to them. Both had long hair, beards, tattered clothes, they looked exactly like Jesus and his followers would have looked.
One said to the other, “We should find a cross; we should go to the cemetery and take a cross from some grave. You carry the cross, you look more like Jesus, and I’ll go ahead of you proclaiming that the Lord has come. Let’s see, maybe something is possible.”
So they entered the church. It was a Protestant church. The first entered and shouted loudly, “Awake! Behold! The Lord has come back! He has fulfilled his promise.”
Everybody looked and then the second hippie entered with the cross. A few women fainted, a few old people fell at his feet. And people started giving money. When they went out they had collected fifty dollars. They were very happy.
The week went beautifully – marijuana and all. They enjoyed it as spiritually as possible.
The next week they entered a Catholic church. Even more things became possible. The Catholics went crazy! They could not believe their eyes. People were crying and weeping and trembling and calling “Lord!” They collected one hundred and fifty dollars. That week they were really high…
The third week, just for fun, they thought why not try the synagogue? So they went into the synagogue. They proclaimed, “Behold! The Lord has come back as he promised!”
The old rabbi fixed his glasses, looked, and then asked his assistant, “Go and bring the hammer and nails. It seems that fool has come back.”

You behave according to your conditioning…If Mahavira appears suddenly on M.G. Road, only Jainas – and that too only Digambara Jainas – will recognize him. The Svetambara Jainas, another sect of the Jainas, will not recognize him because they don’t believe that he lived naked. They believe he lived in white clothes which, of course, were invisible. So they will ask, “Where are the invisible clothes?” And Hindus and Mohammedans and Christians will simply rush to the police station, because a naked man is standing on M.G. Road who seems to be an Osho freak!
How are you going to judge? According to your prejudices. When you become convinced “This man is saying the right thing,” that simply means he is saying the thing that you think is right. But if you know already what is right, there is no need to bother about the man.
Following is useless, it is unnecessary. You are simply collecting support for your own beliefs. It is not going to help, it is not going to change you. Only surrender transforms. Anything that happens through the heart can bring a radical revolution into your being. The head is impotent – avoid the head.
Sir, avoid the head! Listen to the heart and follow the heart, then surrender happens of its own accord.

The third question:
Osho,
What is misunderstanding?
Misunderstanding happens only to knowledgeable people, it never happens to the innocent. It never happens to those who know that they know nothing; only understanding happens to them. But to those who think they know already, their very knowledge is a disturbance, a distraction. It is knowledge that creates misunderstanding.
If you are already carrying something in your mind, and then you listen to me, there are only two possibilities: either you find me agreeing with you, or you find me disagreeing with you. If you find me agreeing with you, you must have misunderstood because I cannot agree with you. It is impossible. I can agree with you only if you are also awakened, if you are also in the same space, only then. So you must have distorted the words, dropped a few words, added a few words, given them new meanings – your meanings, coloring them, dyeing them according to your philosophy, way of life, or whatsoever you call it. It is a kind of adjustment. And then you can be very happy that I agree with you.
I cannot agree with you. It is impossible. Agreement is possible only if we both exist in the same space, otherwise not. In your confusion, in my clarity, there is no possibility of agreement. So that is the first kind of misunderstanding, which is far more dangerous than the second kind of misunderstanding.
The second kind of misunderstanding is: I say one thing and you immediately jump against it because you have come with a negative approach. The first misunderstanding comes from the one who has come with a positive approach. Ordinarily, people think that if you come with a positive approach you cannot misunderstand. The positive approach is very much appreciated around the world. Of course, your priests, your leaders praise your positive approach because you are agreeing with them. I cannot praise it because your agreement means nothing to me.
Your negative approach means disagreement, but both are misunderstandings. If you have come already with a negative mind – that you are against me, that this man is wrong – you must have gathered it from public opinion, from newspapers, from magazines. And if you have come already with a negative attitude, then whatsoever I say you will find something wrong with it. You are bent upon finding something wrong with it. That is another kind of misunderstanding.
To me, both are misunderstandings, and the first is more dangerous because the second misunderstanding is not going to do any harm. You will go empty-handed, that’s all; you have not lost anything. But the first misunderstanding can be dangerous. You will go with the idea that I agree with you. You will become more egoistic, thinking that your ideas are right, and that is more dangerous. If you think my ideas are wrong, there is no problem, you remain the same. But if you think that your ideas are right because they are in agreement with me and I am in agreement with you, then you are going with a more strengthened ego. The positive approach is far more dangerous than the negative.
The real seeker comes with neither the positive mind nor the negative mind. He comes only with an open mind. He comes silently. He has no a priori idea this way or that way. He simply listens, he does not interfere. He does not go on continuously judging. He remains in a kind of let-go – silent, open, vulnerable. It is not a question of agreeing or of disagreeing. You are simply listening. You are simply listening to what this man has to say. You are not continuously commenting inside yourself “Yes, this is right, that is wrong. This agrees with the Gita and this does not agree with the Gita. If it does not agree with the Gita, how can this man be right? The Gita is bound to be right.”
What do you know about the Gita? All that you know about the Gita is your idea of the Gita. You can’t understand Krishna. To understand Krishna you have to be a krishna, to understand Buddha you have to be a buddha, there is no other way. And when you are a buddha, why should you bother to understand Buddha? When you are a krishna, what is the need to understand Krishna? You yourself know.
The real seeker listens with an empty mind, utterly empty. He listens totally, with no evaluation, no judgment. Then there is no possibility of misunderstanding. And the miracle of right listening is that, if you listen silently, whatsoever is true immediately strikes deep down somewhere in your heart a chord, a rhythm. Deep down somewhere in your heart a synchronicity happens. That is the miracle of truth. If the mind is silent and if truth is being told, your heart immediately starts beating with it, starts dancing with it. And that is true agreement, not the agreement of the head, not the agreement of the ego, but something existential, something total. Then you have understood. And if something is not true, your heart remains cold.
So there is no need to bother whether it is right or wrong. If it is right, it touches something so deep in you that you were not even aware that such a depth exists. And if it is not right, nothing moves in you. So your whole being becomes decisive, not just your head – which is just a fragment. Never allow the fragment to decide for the whole; let the whole decide.

The fanatic fisherman was telling a pal about his great dream: “I dreamt I was out on a lake alone in a boat with Elizabeth Taylor.”
His pal said, “Wow – how did you make out?”
He said, “Great – I caught a ten-pound flounder!”

You know fishermen, you know people who are mad about catching fish – who cares about Elizabeth Taylor? That is beside the point. He catches a ten-pound flounder.

He was really a golf nut. He was just about to tee off on the first hole when a beautiful girl came running up to him in a gorgeous bridal outfit.
The golfer waved her away and said, “Sylvia, I told you – only if it rains!”

Two drunks were driving over a bridge and one said, “When you come to the end of the bridge, turn left.”
The other slobbered, “What’re you telling me for? You’re drivin’!”

In your state of sleep, in your state of drunkenness, what agreement? What disagreement? What understanding? What misunderstanding? It is all the same.
Here, listening to me, become more and more silent and alert. Forget all about agreeing and disagreeing. I am not interested in converting you, I am not a missionary. I am not interested in creating a following, not at all. I am certainly interested in sharing my joy with you, certainly interested in sharing my truth with you. But that is a totally different matter.

Dave and Mabel were just married and on their way home to the farm. Their old horse was getting slower and slower, and despite Dave’s efforts, just before dusk the nag fell and died. There was nothing to do but put up camp for the night under a nearby tree.
The newly-weds snuggled under the blanket, and Dave turned to Mabel, saying, “Well, what about it, love?”
“What about what, dear?” Mabel replied.
“Oh, never mind,” said Dave.
Shortly after, Dave said, “Well… Ah, hum, what about it?”
Mabel replied, “What about what, dear?”
Dave asked, “Oh, didn’t your mum ever tell you about what marriage is for?”
Mabel answered, “I don’t know what you mean, dear!”
Dave said, “Well… Ah… Um… Ah… You are a woman, and I am a man, and you see… Well… A man has this… And it gives life…”
“Well, for God’s sake, Dave,” said Mabel, “go and stick it in the horse and let’s get going!”

The fourth question:
Osho,
In your prophetic vision, what do you think will be the future of science?
I have no prophetic vision, I am not a prophet. I am not that old-fashioned at all. Do you think I am coming out of the Old Testament?
I am a twentieth-century man and still fully alive, and I don’t care a bit about the future; neither do I care about the past. My whole concern is the present because only the present exists. The past is no more, the future is not yet. Both are nonexistential. Those prophets who were concerned about the future must have been mad. They were always talking about the future.
There are only two types of mad people in the world: a few who are always talking about the past, and a few who are always talking about the future. The people who are talking about the past are the historians, archaeologists, etcetera. And the people who are talking about the future are the prophets, visionaries, poets. I am neither.
My whole concern is this moment – now, here.
So drop that idea, Raju. Raju is a scientist, and naturally he is interested in the future of science. I am not a prophet, but one thing I can say – and it has nothing to do with the future really. It is happening right now. Because people are blind they cannot see it. I can see it. It has already become a reality.
The greatest thing that is happening – which will be understood only later on – is the meeting of science and religion, is the meeting of East and West, is the meeting of materialism and spiritualism, is the meeting of the outer and the inner, is the meeting of the extrovert and the introvert. But that is happening right now. It will grow in the future, but my concern is the present, and I am tremendously happy that something of great importance is on the way.
The seed has sprouted. You are so much concerned with the past or with the future that you can’t see the small sprout that is growing right now. Here, in front of your eyes, the meeting of the opposites – the opposites are turning into complementaries.
Science alone is only half and cannot be a fulfillment for man. It can give you a better body, it can give you better health, longer life. It can give you more comforts, more luxury. I am not against any of these. I am not an ascetic, I am not that stupid at all. But it can only give you things of the outer world – which are beautiful in themselves.
I would like everyone to live in more comfort, in more luxury, in better health, better nourished, better fed, better educated. But that’s not all; that is only the circumference of life, not the center.
Religion provides the center. It gives you a soul. Without it, science is a corpse. A beautiful corpse maybe; you can paint the corpse, you can wash the corpse and put beautiful garments on it, but a corpse is a corpse. And, remember, the same is the case with religion. Religion alone is not enough at all. Religion alone makes you a ghost, maybe a holy ghost, but it makes you a ghost.
You can see this happening in India. The whole country has become a holy ghost – the body has disappeared, the physical health has disappeared, the material wealth has disappeared. And when there is no body to support a soul, you are simply talking nonsense. You can go on talking about the brahman – the ultimate reality – but on a hungry stomach it does not work. It may be just an escape from reality.
If religion itself is not realistic it becomes an escape from reality. If religion is not materialistic enough it becomes an escape, it becomes a dreamworld, a Disneyland. That’s what has happened in the East: we talked too much of the spirit and forgot all about the reality that surrounds us. We became introverts, too concerned about ourselves. We forgot all about the beauties of the trees and the mountains and the sun and the moon and the stars. Humanity in the East became ugly. It has a center but no circumference. Everything has shrunk to the center.
The West has a circumference but no center. People have everything, but something essential is missing.
Science and religion are becoming one. They are already becoming one. I am not saying they will become one, they are already becoming one. All the greatest scientists – Eddington, Planck, Einstein – people of the highest caliber in the world of science, became aware that science alone is not enough. There is something far more mysterious which cannot be grasped only through scientific methodology and means, something which needs a different approach, which needs more meditative awareness.
Eddington says in his autobiography, “When I started my career as a scientist I used to think that the world consisted of things, but as I grow old I am becoming more and more aware that the world does not consist of things but of thoughts.”
Reality is far closer to thoughts than to things. Reality is far more mysterious than you can weigh, measure, than you can experiment with. Reality is not only objective but also subjective. Reality is not only content but also consciousness. And the greatest religious people, like J. Krishnamurti, are aware that religion cannot exist anymore as it has existed up to now. Something of a radical change is needed.
My own approach is that we have to create Zorba the Buddha.
Today, just by coincidence, is Buddha’s birthday, also his enlightenment day, and also the day of his death. He was born on this day, he became enlightened on this day, he died on this day. Today’s full moon belongs to him. It is a strange coincidence that this long series of Buddha lectures – one hundred and twenty-six lectures in all… When I started I had no idea that it would end today.
Just the other night Laxmi told me, “Tomorrow is Buddha Purnima” – Buddha’s full moon. Let this day also be the birth of a new buddha. The new buddha will be a synthesis of Zorba the Greek, and Gautama the Buddha. He cannot be just Zorba, and he cannot be just Buddha.
That’s my whole effort here, Raju, to create a bridge between Zorba and Buddha – to create a bridge, a golden bridge, or a rainbow bridge, between the earth, this shore, and the farther shore, the beyond. It is happening here, and you can’t see it happening anywhere else.
We have all kinds of scientists here. Now, Raju himself has become a sannyasin. He has great scientific intelligence. He is young, but of tremendous intelligence. He is one of those scientists who put the first man on the moon – he belongs to that project. There are so many other scientists here. There are poets and musicians, painters, all kinds of people, and they have all joined together in one great effort: meditation. There is only one meeting-point here and that is meditation. On only one point do they meet; otherwise they all have their own individualities. Out of this meeting a tremendous explosion is possible. It is already happening. Those who have eyes can see it happening.
This may be the only place on the earth where all the countries are represented. We were missing, Russians but now I am happy to say that they are also here. All the races are meeting here, all the religions are meeting here. This is a miniature universe, a small world, and we are all meeting here as human beings. Nobody is a Christian, Hindu or Mohammedan. Nobody knows who is a scientist, who is a musician, who is a painter, who is a famous actor. Nobody even tells…
Just the other day I came across the news: one of our sannyasins has won a great, world-famous prize. She has been here, she was here for months, but she never told anyone that she is a great actress. And now she is world-famous; she is now thought to be one of the most serious contenders for the highest award. But she never told anybody anything.
There are musicians of great caliber, poets, authors, painters, sculptors, magicians, all kinds of people are here, and they have all met in a deep merging. Their only meeting-point is meditation and their love for their master.
A totally new science is bound to arrive. It will be both science and religion, only then can it be total. It will be a science of both the inner and the outer. In fact, the days of religion are over, just science will do, one word will do. Science is a beautiful word; it means knowing, wisdom.
Science should be divided in two categories: objective science – chemistry, physics, mathematics, etcetera – and subjective science. Then there is no need to divide religion and science. And the meeting of religion and science in one whole will create, for the first time, a whole man on the earth. Otherwise, up to now humanity has been schizophrenic, split, insane, divided.
I am all for the whole man, because to me the whole man is the holy man.

The fifth question:
Osho,
What is the difference between being mad and being enlightened?
Not much. The only difference is that the enlightened person knows that he is mad, and the madman does not know that he is mad.

The sixth question:
Osho,
If Italians are “women,” British are “ladies” and Germans are “females,” what about South American witches? Can you make some comment about them?
They are amazons.

The seventh question:
Osho,
I am leaving tomorrow for France. Please tell me a joke to make the Frenchies laugh.
An agitated Frenchman came into a Paris bistro and told the waiter to bring him a triple shot of cognac. He downed the huge drink in one gulp and asked for another.
The waiter brought it and asked, “What’s the matter, monsieur? Did your wife catch you making love to the maid?”
“No,” he sighed. “The maid caught me in bed with my wife!”

The eighth question:
Osho,
Why does the Buddha always say: “Be a light unto yourself”?
Simple. Buddha says “Be a light unto yourself” because you cannot trust Indian electricity.
In fact, you cannot trust anything made in India.

What is the difference between an American computer and an Indian one?
The American computer has a memory; the Indian one has a vague remembrance.

How many Polacks does it take to put in a light bulb?
Four – one to hold the bulb and three to spin him around.

How many Jews does it take to put in a light bulb?
Three – one to put it in and two to supervise.

How many Californians does it take to put in a light bulb?
Four – one to put it in and three to share the experience.

How many Italians does it take to put in a light bulb?
About sixteen – one to give the orders, one to handle the money, one to get the bulb, one to tell the rickshaw driver where to go, one to clean up the broken glass, one to translate, three to carry the ladder, one to check the switch, one to shoo away the beggars, four to entertain you while you wait two or three minutes, two or three minutes, two or three minutes…etcetera.

And how many Indians it takes to change a light bulb?
Two hundred – one to hold the bulb, and one hundred and ninety-nine to turn the house around!

The last question:
Osho,
In a previous life you must have been an Italian. Could you say something about that experience?
I am not a Californian, so I cannot share the experience with you. But I will tell you a few jokes.

“I find it hard to believe that you murdered that crippled old man for fifty cents,” the outraged judge told the Italian mugger.
The Italian shrugged. “Fifty cents here, fifty cents there – it adds up.”

Martinelli always takes his super-ugly wife along with him when he goes away on business.
He explains, “It’s easier to take her along than to kiss her good-bye.”

Maria was complaining to her neighbor, Donna Arminda, “These pains drive me crazy. Every night it’s the same thing. If I turn right, the pain attacks the liver; if I turn left, it attacks my heart. It’s really hell!”
“But why don’t you sleep on your belly?” asked the neighbor.
“On my belly? If I sleep on my belly, Roberto attacks me!”

An Italian was walking down the street with a pig under his arm.
“How much did that cost you?” asked a passerby.
“Fifty cents,” replied the pig.

“I see you are no gentleman,” hissed the woman on the street corner at the Italian who laughed as the wind swept her skirt over her head.
“No,” he replied, “and I see-a you are not-a one-a either.”

A long-suffering Italian husband was burying his wife. It chanced that in passing through the gate, the coffin was thrust hard against one of the posts. Almost immediately, to the amazement of the mourners, a muffled scream was heard. The lid was hastily unscrewed, and lo! the woman was not dead at all. She was taken home, and lived for three years. Then she died again.
At the funeral, as the coffin was being lowered from the hearse, the husband addressed the bearers very solemnly: “Boys, mind that post!”

Enough for today.

Spread the love