The Dhammapada Vol 10 08

Eighth Discourse from the series of 13 discourses - The Dhammapada Vol 10 by Osho.
You can listen, download or read all of these discourses on oshoworld.com.

The first question:
I feel like such a no-sayer. Is there any hope for no-sayers?
No-saying is a good beginning, but not a good end. No-saying is the seed; yes-saying is the flowering of it. The yes has to come through the no; the no is the womb of the yes. If you cannot say no, your yes will be impotent. It won’t have any meaning at all, it won’t transform your life. It will be just on your lips, not in your heart.
That’s what has happened to the whole of humanity. People have been forced to become yea-sayers, theists, God-believers, without ever knowing the taste of no. The yes has been forced upon them. They have not arrived at the yes, the yes has been handed over to them, it is borrowed. It is a mere belief, and all beliefs are blind. They keep you blind, they keep you in darkness. They keep you stuck and stagnant.
There is nothing wrong in saying no. No has as much beauty as yes. No is the way to arrive at yes. Use the no as a stepping-stone. Don’t let it become a habit; be conscious about it, that’s all. I cannot say to you to start saying yes because that will not yet be ripe for you. Go on saying no as long as the no remains significant to you. The no will destroy all that is false, borrowed. It will negate all beliefs. It will create an empty space in you.
In the East we call the whole process neti, neti – neither this nor that. We have never condemned it.
It cleans you of all rubbish, it purifies you. It is a fire. Passing through it is a necessary step you cannot avoid. Those who avoid passing through it, their yes is just parrotlike. You can teach the parrot anything and he will go on repeating it. He does not mean it. He has no heart within it, he simply says the words – empty words, hollow words.

A man was purchasing a parrot; he went to the pet shop. He liked one very beautiful parrot and asked the price. The price appeared to be a little too much: the man was asking one thousand dollars.
The purchaser asked, “Is that parrot worth that much?”
The shopkeeper said, “You can ask the parrot himself.”
He asked the parrot, and the parrot said, “There is no doubt about it.”
He said it so convincingly. It appeared so natural. The man purchased the parrot, and he was very excited to show it to his wife, to his children. He brought the parrot home.
He asked the parrot, “What is your name?”
He said, “There is no doubt about it.”
The man said, “What?”
He said, “There is no doubt about it!”
The man asked, “Do you know anything else or not?”
He said, “There is no doubt about it.”
The man said, “My God, I must have been a fool to purchase you!”
The parrot said, “There is no doubt about it!”

That was all that the parrot knew. You ask any question, the answer is the same. It has nothing to do with the questions, it has nothing to do with the reality, it is not a response. It is just like a gramophone record. It goes on repeating meaninglessly.
The people who have been conditioned to say yes – yes to God, yes to the religion, yes to the society, yes to the parents – their yes is bogus, it has no substance. It is not even a shadow. Even shadows have something in them, but this yes is absolutely a nonentity. Parents teach you, “Respect your parents, say yes, be obedient.” Of course, that is their vested interest. The priest says: “Respect the priests, respect the Bible, the Koran, the Gita, respect the tradition, respect convention.” That is his vested interest. And so on, so forth.
Somebody asked George Gurdjieff, “Why has respect for parents been emphasized, in every religion, in every country, in every society? Is there something divine in it?” Gurdjieff laughed and said, “Yes. God knows perfectly well that if people are trained to say yes to the parents only then will they say yes to God. He has a vested interest in it.” God is the father figure, the ultimate father. And Gurdjieff also said, “Your parents are sooner or later going to die, and then there will be a vacuum. You respected your parents, you were obedient to your parents, you were always following, imitating whatsoever they said. You were just a carbon copy. You will feel very empty, so much so that you would like to fill your emptiness with something. And that is the place which God will start filling in you.”
He was joking. It is not God’s vested interest. Of course it is the vested interest of the priests. God has no vested interest in anything. In fact there is no God as a person; God is only godliness.
One need not believe in God, one need not be a yea-sayer. One should learn the process of saying no.
So don’t be worried. Say no boldly, courageously. Risk everything for the no. Slowly, slowly you will become aware that the no has limits. There are points when you cannot say no. When you explore the possibilities of saying no, you will come across certain spaces where no-saying is impossible and yes arises within your heart on its own accord, not as a conditioning, not because somebody has told you. Now it is your own flowering. Then that yes has beauty, then that yes has truth, that yes makes you a religious person. Otherwise you remain just imitators – you can imitate Christianity or Hinduism or Mohammedanism; it does not matter whom you imitate.
I have seen Christians becoming Hindus, Hindus becoming Christians, and they are the same people. Not only that, I have seen Catholics become Communists – they still remain the same people. I have seen Communists become religious, but they are still the same people, just the object of worship changes. Gods go on changing. One God fails, another God replaces him but the worshipper is the same. Whether you worship Mohammed or Marx, Mahavira or Moses, it is not going to make any difference.
If your yes has not come as a growth to you, then it is absolutely useless. Pass through this fire of no-saying, but remember only one thing: don’t let it become a habit. It can become a habit, and that is the danger. The danger is not in no-saying, the danger is that your no-saying may become mechanical. So say it consciously, that’s all I can advise you – say it consciously! Just don’t go on saying it because you have become accustomed. That is as foolish as saying yes meaninglessly. If you say it as a habit, it is meaningless.
There are theists and there are atheists, and they are all in the same boat. Somebody has been told from the very beginning that God is – say yes and you will be saved. And somebody has been told there is no God – say no and you are saved. They are both repeating; whom you are imitating is irrelevant.

A man entered into a restaurant and ordered a cup of tea. He said, “P-p-please b-bring a cup of tea.”
Another man who was sitting across the table also repeated the same, “P-p-please b-bring a cup of tea.”
The first man looked at the second man in anger but didn’t say anything. Then a third man entered and he asked that he should be brought a cup of tea.
And the second man said, “Yes, bring another cup of tea for me too.”
Now the first man was really angry. He said, “Y-y-y-you have been imitating me!”
And the second man said, “N-n-no. I am imitating him.”

But whom are you imitating? Does it matter? Imitation is imitation. People are imitators. The whole world is full of those imitators. You think those imitators are yea-sayers? You think those imitators are no-sayers? They are not saying anything, they are simply repeating whatsoever they have been told to repeat.
So just remember one thing: don’t let it become a habit. Be conscious of it and you will be immensely benefited.
I have heard…

One ex-Nazi was trying to hide the fact that he had been a storm trooper. He decided to become an opera singer.
When the night for his big debut came he walked on stage, looked at his audience and announced, “I am going to sing. And you are going to listen!”

Things become unconscious. You cannot hide them; everybody else will be able to see them except you. If you can also see your habits, you start becoming a little detached, unidentified from them, a little aloof. And that very aloofness is a transcendence. Then you will be able to say no when no is needed. And you will be able to say yes when yes is needed. You will not be fixated.
To be fixated is insane. I don’t want you to become yea-sayers; I want you to be conscious, alert, watchful, responsive. There are moments when your total being would like to say no. Then say no. If everything has to be risked, risk, but don’t be false to your own being. And there will be moments when your whole being says, “Say yes.” And then too, maybe there is great danger in saying yes, but say it. That’s the way of the sannyasin, the really religious person.
Don’t become fixated. You can move from no-saying to yes-saying, and you can still remain unconscious and fixated. Then nothing has happened. Your disbelief has become belief, but you are the same person.

Ira Schwartzbaum thought he was God. His worried parents, unable to convince him otherwise, finally took him to see a world-famous psychiatrist.
Ira lay on the couch and closed his eyes.
“Tell me,” the psychiatrist asked him in an encouraging, sympathetic voice, “how did it all start?”
“Well,” Ira said, “on the first day I created the earth, then…”

You can be fixated. And once you are fixated on a certain thing, when you cannot have a detached view of it, when you cannot create a distance between it and you, you are insane. What your fixation is, is not important. You may be a Communist or a Catholic, Hindu or a Mohammedan, believer–disbeliever, no-sayer–yes-sayer, it is all the same.
Hence, don’t be worried about your no-saying. Be conscious of it. Next time you say no, don’t just say it out of habit, out of a past pattern. Reflect, watch, wait, and let a response arise in you. You may be surprised that a yes is born, and it will be born in you, it will not be imposed from the outside.
Your freedom is a supreme value. Nothing is higher than that. But your freedom is possible only if you are not encaged in your habits, unconscious patterns of living. Change your gestalt from unconsciousness to consciousness, and I know that as you become conscious you will be able to say more yes than no.
Ultimately a moment comes when life becomes just yes. But it is not fixation, you are still capable of saying no, it is not that you have become incapable of saying no. In fact, the greater is your yes, in the same proportion is your capacity to say no. You may not say no, it may not be needed. Your understanding of life, your love affair with life may have brought you such tremendous joy that you may not like to say no. You may see the childishness of it, the stupidity of it, the stubbornness of it. You may see its poison and you may not say no, but that does not mean that you have become incapable of saying it. The more capable you are of saying yes, in the same proportion you will be capable of saying no, too. But now everything will be decided by your conscious response.
Ultimately the awakened person stops saying no. Not that he deliberately decides not to say no, it simply withers away just as dead leaves fall from the trees.

The second question:
Why is it so difficult and scary to show your feelings and just to be yourself?
It is difficult to show your feelings and just to be yourself because for thousands of years you have been told to repress your feelings. It has become part of your collective unconscious. For thousands of years you have been told not to be yourself. Be Jesus, be Buddha, be Krishna, but never be yourself. Be somebody else. Down the ages you have been taught so continuously, so persistently that it has gone into your blood, into your bones, into your very marrow.
A deep self-rejection has become part of you. All the priests have been condemning you. They have been telling you that you are sinners, that you are born in sin. Your only hope is that Jesus can save you, or Krishna can save you, but there is no hope as far as you are concerned, you cannot save yourself, somebody else will save you. You are doomed, you can only pray to Jesus, to Krishna, to save you. As far as you are concerned you are just worthless, you are just dust and nothing more. You have no value, you have been reduced to ugly things, to disgusting beings. It is because of this that one finds it very difficult and scary to show one’s true feelings. You have been taught to be hypocrites.
Hypocrisy pays, and whatsoever pays seems to be valuable. They say honesty is the best policy, but remember, the best policy. Even honesty has become only a policy because it pays. If it does not pay, then dishonesty is the best policy! The whole thing depends on what works, what pays, what makes you richer, more respectable, what makes you more comfortable, safer, more secure, what gives you more nourishment for the ego – that’s the best policy. It may be honesty, it may be dishonesty, whatsoever it is, use it as a means; it is not an end.
Religion also has become a good policy. It is a kind of insurance for the other world. You are preparing for the other world by being virtuous, by going to the church, by donating to the poor. You are opening a bank account in paradise, so when you go there you will be received with great joy, angels shouting “Alleluia!” dancing, playing on their harps. How big a bank account you have there will depend on how many virtuous deeds you have done here.
Religion too has become business, and your reality is repressed. The repressed people have been respected so much. You call them saints; they are really schizophrenic. They should be treated, they need therapy – and you worship them. Out of one hundred of your saints, if even one turns out to be a real saint, it will be a miracle. Ninety-nine are just hocus-pocus, pretenders, deceivers. And I am not saying they are deceiving you; they are deceiving themselves too. They are repressed people.
I have known many mahatmas in this country, greatly respected by the masses. I have been very intimate with these people, and in their privacy they have opened their hearts to me. They are uglier than you will find the ordinary people.
I used to visit prisoners, to teach them how to meditate, and I was surprised in the beginning to observe that prisoners, even those who have been sentenced for their whole lives, are far more innocent than your saints, are far better people than your saints, far simpler, far more innocent. Your saints are cunning, clever, and your saints have only one quality: that they are able to repress themselves. They go on repressing. Then naturally they become split. Then they have two kinds of lives: one that they live at the front door, and the other that they live at the back door; one that they live as a showpiece, and the other – the real one – that they don’t show to anybody. They are afraid even to see it themselves.
And that’s the case with you too, on a smaller scale, of course, because you are not a saint. Your illness is not yet incurable, it can be cured. It is not yet so acute, it is not yet chronic. Your illness is just like the common cold: it can disappear easily.
But everybody is influenced by these so-called saints, who are really insane people. They are repressed so much – they have repressed their sex, they have repressed their greed, they have repressed their anger, and they are boiling within themselves. Their inner life is very nightmarish, there is no peace, no silence. All their smiles are painted.

I have heard of a beautiful woman who came from the West in search of peace. She went to the Himalayas. She had heard about a great saint who used to live in the caves. It was hard to reach there, but you know Americans: the harder a thing is, the more they become interested; it becomes a challenge.
So the American lady reached to the peak where the saint lived. He had lived there for thirty years absolutely alone. Not a single human being had visited him all this time, because Indians are very lazy; they don’t bother to go that far. They have managed in a different way: every twelve years they gather in Allahabad and all the saints from all the caves come down so they can have all the saints together. They don’t often bother to go to the Himalayas. Those who want to be worshipped come on their own.
But the American lady reached with arduous effort, and she told the saint who was very old, ancient, “I have come here in search of peace. I want peace of mind and peace of heart.”
The saint said, “Yes, you have come to the right place. You will be given both. Don’t be worried, my daughter. It is not difficult. You will have peace of mind and peace of heart.”
She was very happy. At last somebody was certain. She had seen many psychiatrists and therapists; they all said that it would take seven years, ten years of analysis, and then too there was no guarantee. This man was so certain, and he looked so silent, so happy, a man from a totally different world, so unearthly.
But in the middle of the night the saint jumped into the bed of the woman. She was so shocked, for a few seconds she could not utter a single word. And the saint started making love, wild love, to the woman.
The woman said, “What are you doing? You had promised me peace of the mind and peace of the heart! And what are you doing?”
He said, “First things first: piece of ass! We will take care of other things later on. One has to begin from the beginning.”

Repression was his problem. Peace of mind and peace of heart was not his problem; he must have been repressing for thirty years, and he had not seen even a single woman. And I don’t know whether the woman was really beautiful or not, because if you don’t see a woman for thirty years, any woman looks beautiful! Any woman looks like she is coming from the gods.
Hindu scriptures are full of stories that whenever a great saint reaches very close to attaining enlightenment, beautiful women come from the gods to disturb him. I have not yet been able to find out why the gods should be interested in disturbing these poor fellows. Some ascetic, fasting for years, repressing, standing on his head, torturing himself, has not done any harm to anybody else except himself. Why should the gods be so interested in distracting him? They should really help him! And they send beautiful, naked women to dance around and make obscene gestures to the poor fellow. Naturally he becomes a victim, he is seduced, falls from grace, as if the gods are against anyone who is reaching closer to enlightenment. This seems so ridiculous. They should help. Rather than helping they come to destroy.
But those stories should not be understood literally; they are symbolical, they are metaphors. They are very meaningful. Had Sigmund Freud come across those stories, he would have utterly enjoyed them. It would have been a treasure for him. It would have supported his psychoanalysis as nothing else. Nobody was coming; those repressed people were projecting their desires, desires so long repressed that now they have become so powerful that even with open eyes they were dreaming.
So I don’t know whether this woman was really beautiful, but she must have appeared beautiful to the so-called saint. In India, if a woman is sitting somewhere, the saints are taught not to sit in the same place after the woman has left for a certain length of time, because that space vibrates with danger. Do you see the foolishness of it all? And these have been the teachers of humanity, these are the people who have made you scared of your own feelings because you cannot accept your own feelings. You reject them, hence the fear.
Accept them; nothing is wrong, nothing is wrong with you! All that is needed is not repression or destruction. You have to learn the art of creating harmony in your energies. You have to become an orchestra. Yes, if you don’t know how to play the musical instruments, you will create noise, you will drive your neighbors mad. But if you know the art of playing on the instruments you can create beautiful music, you can create celestial music. You can bring something of the beyond to the earth.
Life is also a great instrument. You have to learn how to play upon it. Nothing has to be cut, destroyed, repressed, rejected. All that existence has given to you is beautiful. If you have not been able to use it beautifully, it simply shows that you are not yet artful enough. We have all taken our lives for granted, and that is wrong. We are given only a raw possibility. We have been given only a potential for life; we have to learn how to actualize it.
That’s what sannyas is all about. That’s what all the devices are: meditation, therapies – all the possible sources have to be used, so that you can know how to use your anger in such a way that it becomes compassion; how to use your sex in such a way that it becomes love; how to use your greed in such a way that it becomes sharing. Each energy that you have can become its polar opposite, because the polar opposite is always contained in it.
Your body contains the soul, matter contains mind. The world contains godliness. Dust contains divineness. You have to discover it, and the first step toward discovery is to accept yourself, rejoice in being yourself. You are not to be a Jesus, no, you are not to be a Buddha. You are not to be me or anybody else. You have to be just yourself. Existence does not want carbon copies; your uniqueness is loved, and you can offer yourself only as a unique phenomenon. You can be accepted as an offering but only as a unique phenomenon. An imitation Jesus, Krishna, Christ, Buddha, Mohammed won’t do. Imitators are bound to be rejected.
Be yourself, authentically yourself. Respect yourself. If existence has given you life it respects you. And do you have higher standards than existence itself? Love yourself. Existence loves you. And then start watching all kinds of energies in you – you are a vast universe!
Slowly, slowly as you become more conscious, you will be able to put things right, into the right places. You are topsy-turvy, that is true, but nothing is wrong with you, you are not a sinner. Just a little rearrangement and you will become a beautiful phenomenon.

The third question:
Am I wasting energy by looking to occultism as a way to explore inner space?
Occultism is for stupid people. Godliness is not hidden; Godliness is very much manifested. It is all over the place: singing in the birds, flowering in the flowers, green in the trees, red in the roses. It is breathing in you, talking through me and listening through you, right this very moment. But you don’t want to see the obvious.
Man has a very pathological interest in the occult. Occult means that which is hidden. Man wants to be interested in the hidden, and there is nothing hidden! As far as existence is concerned nothing is hidden. Just open your eyes and see godliness surrounding you. Be silent and you will hear the still, small voice within yourself. Why go into occultism to explore inner space? Why not go directly into inner space? Occultism is so much nonsense, and there is no end to it because it is all invention. It is religious fiction. Just as there is science fiction, occultism is religious fiction. If you love fictions, it is perfectly okay. But then don’t think that by reading science fiction you are studying science. Don’t believe in science fiction, and don’t act out of that belief; otherwise you will end up in a madhouse.
Occultism is exactly like science fiction. People love fiction; there is nothing wrong in it, but you should know that it is fiction. Enjoy, but don’t take it seriously.
In Buddha’s time there were eight great masters. Mahavira is well-known, he was the last enlightened master of the tradition of the Jainas. He used to say there are three hells. One of his disciples became a renegade, betrayed him, declared himself to be a master, and he started talking about seven hells. He used to say to people, “Mahavira does not know much; he knows only about three hells and I know about seven.” Naturally people were impressed. “Mahavira talks only of three hells and he talks about seven!”
One great master was Sanjay Belattiputta, another contemporary of Buddha. He must have been a man something like me: nonserious. He started talking about seven hundred hells. He said, “What is this Gosalak talking about? Only seven? There are seven hundred, and there are seven hundred heavens too.”
He was joking, but people were very interested: “This seems to be the right man, who has gone so deep into occultism.”

Once a follower of Radhaswami, a small sect which is confined to an area near Agra, came to see me. I was in Agra. He was some kind of a priest, and he said, “Do you know that our master has said there are fourteen planes of existence.”
I said, “Just fourteen?”
He said, “What do you mean, ‘Just fourteen’? Are there more?”
I said, “Certainly.”
He said, “But our master has said there are only fourteen. Mohammed has reached only up to the third,” he said. He had brought a map, and he said, “Kabir and Nanak have reached up to the fifth. And Mahavira and Buddha up to the seventh,” and so on, so forth. But there had never been another who had reached up to the fourteenth except his so-called master.
I said, “I know your master. I have seen him struggling in the fourteenth. He is trying hard, but he cannot get out of it. I know it because I exist at the fifteenth. There are fifteen planes of existence.”
He said, “But you are the first man who has said this.” And he was much impressed. When he was leaving he touched my feet and he said, “You have revealed a new secret.”
I said, “Don’t be foolish. I was just joking! There are only two categories of people: the people who are not aware and the people who are aware. The people who are aware have no hierarchy that one is more aware than the other, that somebody is at the fifth, somebody at the seventh, somebody at the ninth, somebody at the fourteenth. There is no higher and lower in awareness. Awareness is simply awareness.”
But he was not much interested in that. He was more interested in my being on the fifteenth plane.

People are interested in religious fictions. Don’t waste your time in occultism, unless you are interested in novels, fictions. Then it is okay, then there is no problem.

The lecturer on the occult was warming to his subject of supernatural manifestations.
“Ah, my friends,” he exclaimed, a look of dedicated zeal animating his face. “If you could but be made to believe! If only the world would cease its scoffing and come to realize that visitations from the Mystic Shore happen all the time.”
The lecturer searched the faces in his audience to find those sympathetic souls who agreed with his philosophy.
“I have told you about my own experiences,” he continued, “but surely one of you has also had direct communication with a departed spirit. If there is any such person here in this audience who has been in touch with a ghost, I would appreciate it if he or she would stand up.”
From her seat in the front row, Mrs. Faigel Frume got to her feet. “Me,” she said loudly. “Such an experience I had you would not believe.”
“This is very gratifying,” said the delighted speaker when the applause died down. “Behold, a volunteer witness; one who is a total stranger to me, arises to give her testimony. My dear lady, do I understand you to say that you have been in touch with a ghost?”
“In touch with him?” echoed Mrs. Frume. “Better even than that. When I was a little girl in Russia one of them butted me till I was black and blue.”
“A ghost butted you?”
“A ghost, you said? Gosh! I thought you said a goat!”

Don’t waste your time in ghosts and goats. If you want to explore inner space, explore inner space. How does occultism come in? That’s a way of escaping from inner space, not exploring it. That’s a way of keeping yourself engaged in sheer nonsense! Theosophy, particularly in this age, has released so much nonsense: hundreds of books and all kinds of foolish things. People are so gullible that they are ready to believe anything.
Man today exists in a kind of vacuum. Old religions have died or are almost dying. Either they have died or they are on the deathbed; hence new creeds are cropping up everywhere, and all the new creeds need new fictions to allure you.
I cannot give you any occult fiction. I am not interested in anything esoteric. I am a very down-to-earth man. I am simply stating the facts. I don’t want to decorate them. I don’t want to create illusions in your mind; I don’t want to create projections in your mind. My effort here is to help you to go beyond the mind and all your occultism and esotericism, theology, anthroposophy, and so many schools. You can create your own; there is no need to believe in anybody else’s, you can create your own. All that you need is a pencil and paper; you can just go on writing your own fiction. That will be far more enlightening. At least it will be something creative. Then give your copy to somebody, and you will find a few believers. Then you will know how people go on believing in any kind of thing.
J. Krishnamurti was brought up by Theosophists. He was fed, spoon-fed with all kinds of occultism. He became so fed up that on the day when the Theosophists were going to declare him to be the world teacher, and six thousand leading Theosophists from all around the world had gathered and asked him to declare himself, Krishnamurti stood up and said, “I dissolve this organization. I am nobody’s teacher. I am finished with it all, and I don’t want to say anything more!”
They were shocked, but as far as I see it, it was a logical conclusion. For years he was taught all kinds of nonsense by all kinds of stupid people. He was getting fed up with the whole thing. But old ladies, and particularly retired old people, were very interested. They were the majority of the Theosophists – retired people and old ladies who now had nothing else to do – and they would gather and talk nonsense about ghosts and about Tibetan masters who come flying in the air, and about letters from that Master KH. Now nobody knows who this KH. is. His full name is Koot Humi, and that too, nobody knows what it means. The less you understand, the better.
Koot Humi, in short KH, used to write letters, until finally it was found that those letters were written by Blavatsky herself. A servant used to hide on the roof. Imagine, just on the roof of Buddha Hall! There was a small hole in the roof, from where, when the Theosophists would be sitting with closed eyes waiting for Koot Humi, the servant would drop a letter. Now, people are so foolish! It was just ordinary paper, they could have seen what brand it was, in what factory it had been made, ordinary ink, and the handwriting was Blavatsky’s. Then the letter would be read, and those letters were collected, and they were great treasures.
But in the High Court there was a case against one of the great Theosophists, Leadbeater. He was a colleague of Annie Besant, and he was suspected of homosexuality. Just a dirty old man, that’s all! In the case against him in the High Court his servant confessed that he was the man who used to hide on the roof. He went and showed the hole and the place where he used to hide, and everything was discovered. Still, people go on reading those letters believing that Koot Humi wrote them.
When people want to believe, when they are feeling empty, some belief is needed. They cling to anything, they don’t listen to their own hearts. They just need belief; so anybody is ready to supply it. Wherever there is demand there is supply. People need fictions, so there are other clever, cunning people who go on supplying fictions.

In a Catholic school, little Hans was asked to give an example of a dependent clause.
“Our cat has a litter of ten kittens,” he replied, “all of which are good Catholics.”
“That’s excellent,” said the teacher. “You have a good grasp on grammar as well as on our religion.”
The following week the bishop visited the school and the teacher called on Hans.
“Our cat has a litter of ten kittens,” said Hans, “all of which are good Osho sannyasins.”
“That is not what you said a week ago!” snapped the teacher.
“Yes,” replied Hans, “but my kittens’ eyes are open now.”

Be a little alert, be a little watchful. There are deceiving people all around; you can be easily deceived.

Morrissey, the ventriloquist, was on his way down to a bar for a drink when a big shaggy dog fell in at his side.
They went in, the ventriloquist ordered a scotch, and for a laugh he looked at the dog and said, “Well, are you having the usual?”
“No, thanks, I have had enough this morning,” said the dog.
The barman was flabbergasted. He offered fifty dollars for the animal.
“No, sir!” said Morrissey. “I have had him since he was a pup.”
“I’ll make it a hundred dollars!” said the bartender.
Morrissey shook his head. When the offer went to five hundred dollars the ventriloquist grabbed the money and headed for the door.
“All right,” he added, “take good care of him.” And with a last look at the dog, “Farewell, old pal!” he exclaimed.
“Old pal, my foot!” said the dog. “After what you have just done I will never speak to another human being as long as I live!”

Be aware of the cunning people, they are all around. Don’t be exploited. Humanity has been exploited long enough by the cunning and the clever; it is time to put a full stop to it. Be a little more mature.
If you want to explore inner space, meditate. Listen to what Buddha says: “Quieten the mind, reflect, watch, and all darkness will disappear on its own accord, and you will be full of light.”

The fourth question:
Your jokes are far out! Ease up a little on the priests.
I rejoice with existence because of your enlightenment! I feel good to be here, to be home after years of searching.
Deva Chintana, I am sorry if it hurts you. I know that Deva Chintana has been a nun. She has been courageous. She dropped out of the monastery and became a sannyasin. And my jokes about the priests must be looking a little hard to her, naturally. I should have thought of her. I will be more careful in the future, Chintana.
A joke for you:

The pope died, and naturally assumed that he would go to heaven. So, dressed in all his papal finery, he went striding up toward the Pearly Gates, brushed past Saint Peter, and made straight for the entrance.
“Hey, you! Where are you going?” shouted Saint Peter, and two guardian angels stepped forward to bar the way.
“Look-a here,” said the pope. “I am-a da popa.”
“Da popa!!! I am-a da popa of da Catholic-a Church-a and I wanna go to heaven.”
“The pope?” said Saint Peter. “Never heard of you. We don’t have anyone of that name in our books, do we, Gabriel? No, sorry sir, you cannot come in.”
“Hey, come on! I am-a da popa! You gotta let me in. Ask-a God da Father – he knows me!”
Saint Peter calls God the Father: “Hey, God, this is Saint Peter – gate duty. Sorry to disturb you but there is a guy here who calls himself the popa and wants to come inside – says you know him.”
“Who?” asks God the Father.
“The popa.”
“I think that’s what he said.”
“No, never heard of him.”
“Sorry, pope – God the Father says he doesn’t know you.”
“What? But leesten, I am-a da popa. He must know me! Look-a here, you ask God da Son. For sure he knows me – I am-a his representative on da earth-a, he must-a know me!”
Saint Peter calls God the Son, but the answer is the same: “The pope? No, I’ve never heard of him!”
The pope is in despair: “Look-a, you gotta help me. Ring-a the Holy Ghost – for sure he knows me! I am da popa – da popa of the Catholic-a Church-a, the spiritual representative of Jesus Christ-a on da earth-a!! He has just gotta know me!”
Saint Peter calls the Holy Ghost. “Hmmm, the pope, you say!” answers the Holy Ghost. “Hmm, yes, I’ve heard that name before somewhere. Wait a minute! He’s that bastard who goes on spreading rumors about me and Virgin Mary. Tell him to go to hell!”

Chintana, I will try my best. But the priests are the priests; they are the ugliest people on the earth, the most cunning and the meanest, although their appearance is totally different.
I am not saying that there are not some good people. Some good people are also caught in the net, but those good people are childish. Those good people are gullible, those good people are easily exploitable.
Humanity has to get rid of the priesthood, only then can there be religion. They have been very destructive. It is because of them that the world is not religious yet. They have divided humanity instead of making humanity one whole. Much more blood has been shed in the name of religion than in the name of anything else. In fact, I am not really hard on them, I am very soft with them, they need to be hit harder. When I am hitting them, I am not really hitting them, but simply hitting your conditioning.
What do I have to do with the pope or the shankaracharya or the imam or Ayatollah Khomeiniac? I have nothing to do with these people. But when I hit them I am simply hitting the chains inside you that keep you in bondage. My jokes about the priests are just to help you to come out of the prison, laughing. I don’t want it to become a serious affair for you to come out of the prison, because if it becomes a serious affair you will be affected by your seriousness and you will carry that load with you. And there is every danger that you will start projecting your seriousness on me.
I can free you from the priest very easily, but the danger is that you may start projecting all that you have been projecting on the priest, on me. That is not freedom at all; only your chains are changed.

Someone else has asked me…
The fifth question:
I am a coward and I cannot take sannyas. What will happen to me?
Jesus was on the cross, a thief on either side of him. Suddenly the guards disappeared and they were alone. Seeing that there was no one around, Jesus addressed the two thieves.
“Repent, my brethren!” he said. “Repent, and the Kingdom of God will be opened unto you. I will take you with me to the House of my Father. Repent!”
One of the thieves bowed down to Jesus, saying, “I repent, my Lord! Take me with you into the Kingdom of God!”
The other thief turned his head away in disdain. “Stop all this crap!” he exclaimed.
Jesus insisted, “Repent! Come to my feet!”
“Fuck you!” replied the thief.
Jesus looked at him compassionately, and said, “Tough luck, old bean! You won’t be in the souvenir picture, that’s all!”

So don’t be worried if you are not a sannyasin. If you cannot gather courage to be a sannyasin, you won’t be in the souvenir picture, that’s all. Don’t take it seriously.
My whole effort here is to make sannyas as nonserious as possible. I don’t want to become a pope or a shankaracharya. I don’t want to become a replacement for you, a substitute for you. I don’t want to become a father figure to you. I want simply to be a friend.
Hence my discourses are not ordinarily religious sermons. I am just chitchatting. They are not gospels, but gossips!
Enough for today.

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