Tao The Pathless Path Vol 2 04

Fourth Discourse from the series of 14 discourses - Tao The Pathless Path Vol 2 by Osho.
You can listen, download or read all of these discourses on oshoworld.com.

The first question:
You have talked much on love, relationship, union, etc. Is there a merging between the Tao and Tantra?
Tantra means technique, and Tao can have no relationship with any technique whatsoever. Tao is non-methodological, non-technical. Tao means spontaneity. How can spontaneity have a technique? You cannot practice it; if you practice it, you miss it. There is no way to cultivate it; cultivated spontaneity could be anything else but it could not be spontaneity.
Tao means a let-go. Wherever your energy moves, allow it to move. Don’t swim – float with the river. Swimming is a technique, but if you are just flowing with the river, what technique is needed? Technique means that you have a direction, you want to reach somewhere. Technique means that you want to impose your will on reality, you want to be someone, somewhere, in some state; you have a desire, you have a projection.
Tao says you are already there, you are already that. There is nowhere to go and nothing else to be, so just relax and let things happen. Whatsoever happens is good. There is no denial in Tao, no rejection, no repression. It is the greatest rebellious attitude possible. Never has man’s intelligence risen higher than in Tao. But there is no way to it. You cannot be guided to it.
Buddha has talked about five ways to reach truth. The first he calls the way of sheela, the way of morality, character, virtue. The second he calls the way of knowledge. The third he calls the way of dhyana, meditation; the fourth he calls the way of devotion; and the fifth he calls ashiksheya, that which cannot be taught.
That fifth way is Tao. It cannot be taught. Yes, it can be learned but it cannot be taught. And when I say that it can be learned, I mean that if you relax, if you allow life to happen to you, if you don’t create a barrier, if you are ready to go wherever it leads, you will learn it. It is the most dangerous path because you will not be in control. Your mind cannot manipulate; your mind cannot prepare in any way. You will have to live moment to moment – as the trees live, as the stars live, as the mountains live. You will have to live in the same way, the same natural way. Tao is nature.
So the Indian Tantra cannot have any merger with Tao. The Indian Tantra is very scientific. It is the science of how to transform sexual energy into spiritual energy; how to create the dynamo that changes, transforms, transmutes energy; how to move from the lower to the higher; how to go from earth to heaven. It is a way from sex to super-consciousness. It is very technological.
Tao has no technique – this is the first thing to be understood. But there is another thing of great importance: that is, Tao has its own Tantra. But it is not a technique.
There is no meeting possible between the Indian Tantra and the Chinese Tao, no meeting is possible. They are far apart, poles apart, and it is impossible to mix them. If somebody tries to mix them, Tao will be destroyed; Tantra will not be destroyed. Always remember whenever you mix a higher viewpoint with a lower, the higher is destroyed; the lower is not destroyed. It is always the higher that loses because the higher is delicate, the higher is very, very vulnerable, fragile, like a flower. If you crush a flower with a rock, the rock is not going to be destroyed. The rock may not even know that there has been a clash. But the flower will be gone – crushed, destroyed. Tao is the highest possibility and Tantra can destroy it. So remember not to mix them.
But Tao has its own Tantra because Tao is a total world view. It has everything that is possible. It is the world. So there is something in it for love, for sex. What is Taoist Tantra? I have to use the word Tantra, remember, but I am not using it in the Indian sense. What is Taoist Tantra? It is spontaneity in sexuality; it is spontaneity in love.
For example, if you read a Tantra manual, an Indian Tantra manual, there is great ritual in it. Every step is very clearly indicated. It is not easy to practice Indian Tantra – you have to become adept at it. Don’t fool around. Don’t think that while you are making love to a woman you are practicing Tantra. Tantra is difficult. It is a long process. And it takes years to get trained in it.
The greatest training that is involved and the most difficult problem that arises is that Tantra allows a man to make love to a woman only when he has lost all sexual attraction toward her. There is no sexual attraction at all. That is the whole process. The woman becomes almost a mother to you, or a sister to you – a goddess. She must be worshipped. In tantric ritual the woman must be worshipped like a goddess. And for months together one has to practice that worship.
The woman sits naked in front of you on a throne and you worship and you bow down and you pray to her. And you create the idea in your deepest core of consciousness that she is just a representative of all womanhood, motherhood. She is a goddess.
One day, slowly, slowly, you lose all sexual interest in her. You become auto-hypnotized with your own idea. The day you lose all sexual interest in her body and you can look through and though her, and her body is no longer a thrill, her body is not even seen at all, she becomes luminous, she is just a presence, only then does the master allow you to make love to her. Now love will have a totally different quality. There is no sex involved in it, no attraction involved in it, no physicality involved in it. It is absolutely spiritual – a meeting of two souls.
But that is a long process. Many rituals, many prayers, many yantras, many meditations are needed. After years of training you come to the point where the woman is no longer a woman to you, she has almost become a mother – “motherhoodness” has arisen. You have projected that motherhoodness on her. You see her breasts but they no longer provoke any sexuality in you, just the idea of a mother. You see her body and you start feeling that you are part of her body, just as you were part of your mother. It is recreating the mother, and it is a long process. Tantra is very procedural, ritualistic, and a great experiment in hypnosis, auto-hypnosis.
It is a great experiment in getting rid of the idea of sex. It is not sexual at all, as it is commonly understood. It is a totally different attitude, not sexual at all. It is very prayerful. When you make love to a woman after you have become an adept in Tantra, the master allows you; and it has to depend on the master’s agreement, it does not depend on you. The master sees in your eyes that all lust has disappeared, that your body has become almost asexual; he sees that now you are standing before the woman as a small child, unaware of sexuality – you are naked, she is naked but you are not at all interested in sexuality. When the master confirms it, when he gives you a signal, then you are allowed to have intercourse. It depends on the master. He has to watch, watch carefully. It takes months, sometimes years, to prepare for it.
Tao has its own Tantra. First of all: Tao never divides into lower and higher, that is the beauty of it. The moment you divide reality into lower and higher you are becoming schizophrenic. The moment you say something is sacred and something is profane you have divided. The moment you say something is material and something is spiritual, you have divided, split reality. Reality is one. There is neither matter nor spirit. Reality is one. It expresses itself in many forms – on one level as matter, on another level as spiritual. The spiritual is not higher and the material is not lower – they stand on the same level. That is the Taoist attitude. Life is one. Existence is one. It is a tremendous oneness and there is no valuation.
The first thing in Tao is to drop duality. Sex is not lower, and samadhi is not higher. Samadhi and sex are both expressions of the same energy. There is nothing laudable about samadhi and there is nothing condemnable about sex. Tao acceptance is total, absolute. There is nothing wrong with the body and there is nothing beautiful in the spirit – they are both beautiful. The Devil and God are one in Tao, heaven and hell are one in Tao, good and bad are one in Tao; it is the greatest non-dual understanding. There is no condemnation and no preparation. Prepare for what? One has simply to relax and be.
If you can love a woman spontaneously… In fact, Tao will say that Tantra has a wrong attitude in this way because you have to prepare for it. Preparation means that you are preparing for the future. Tao knows only one time – which is now; and only one place – which is here. Now is the only time, and here is the only place. Here is heaven and now is nirvana. So don’t prepare.
If in some moment love flows, love takes possession of you, go with it. Don’t push the river. Don’t try to give it any shape. Don’t try to fix it into any ritual. Just go with it. In deep trust, in deep gratitude, go with it. While making love to a woman don’t try to prove anything – as people try to do in the West. Don’t try to prove anything because when you start trying to prove something, your mind comes in. While you are making love to a woman forget that you are a man and she is a woman. Let boundaries merge and mix. Don’t remain a man; otherwise you will miss because again a dualism comes in: you are the man and she is the woman. Nobody really knows why two people make love. Many times it happens that the man becomes the woman and the woman becomes the man. Why bother who is who?
If you are thinking about it, then the mind is there and the mind is a barrier; it does not allow the unison to happen totally. So Tao says, simply go spontaneously, with no ritual, with no idea to prove. And remember, never use sexuality for anything. Tantra uses it as a step toward samadhi. Tao says, never use anything as a means. Everything is an end in itself. The moment you start thinking of somewhere to go, something to reach, some result to attain, you are not total – you are divided, your mind is already in the future. There are no means and no ends. Everything simply is an intrinsically beautiful an end unto itself.
In Tao this is very basic. Love, eat, go for a morning walk, swim in the river, sit in the sun, watch the stars, but let everything be simple, not for anything else. Sing a song, but not for any result. Look at the trees, but not for any result. Go for a morning walk, but not for health. Don’t be a naturopath! Just go for a walk; it is beautiful. Health is a by-product; you need not worry about it – it happens. Lie down in the sun, enjoy it; not for anything else. Lie there for its own sake. That is what Tao is.
In that relaxed attitude life starts pouring into you from everywhere. All doors open, all windows open. Existence flows into you, you flow into existence.
Tao is very simple; and hence very difficult because we are very complex people. Simple things don’t appeal to us. Tantra appeals to many people; Tao does not have that much appeal. Tao appeals very rarely. If Tao appeals to you, consider yourself fortunate. The very possibility of your getting interested in Tao is a great blessing.
Translate everything into terms of Tao and it becomes spontaneity.

The second question:
Can you summarize your teaching in short because I am here only for a day or two.
It is impossible. In the first place I have no teaching to summarize. I am not a teacher; I am a presence. I have no catechism. I cannot give you ten commandments – do this, don’t do that.
Whatsoever I say today, I may contradict tomorrow because my commitment is to this moment. Whatsoever I said yesterday, I am no longer committed to. The moment I said it I became free of it. Now I don’t bother about it, I don’t look at it again. Whatsoever I am saying to you right now is true this very moment; tomorrow I will not be committed to it. Whatsoever tomorrow brings, I will say it. Whatsoever today has brought I am telling you now. And if they are contradictory, who am I to make them consistent? I don’t make any effort on my own.
My commitment is to the moment. I am never committed to the past. I am like a river: where I will be tomorrow nobody knows, not even I myself. You will be surprised; I will also be surprised.
The question must be from someone who comes from the country I call “Acirema” – it is America in reverse. America is topsy-turvy. Everything has gone chaotic. People are in such a hurry that they have forgotten that there are a few things which you cannot get in a hurry about, for which patience is a must.
Truth you cannot get in a hurry. Patience is a basic condition for it. It is not like instant coffee and it does not come packed in tins. It does not come ready-made. Truth is not a commodity that somebody can give you. It grows in you.
That’s what I mean: I am a presence, I am not a teacher. If you are here, something may grow in you. I say may because it depends on you. I am here. If you are ready to receive me, something will start growing in you. It is like a child becoming a young man. Yes, truth is like that. The false personality drops and a true being arrives. It is a child becoming a young man, a young man becoming an old man. There is no way to hurry the process. You cannot make a child grow up fast in one night, in a day or two. It will take time. And it is good that it takes time because only through time do things become seasoned.
But in America there is a hurry, a mad hurry.
I have heard…

An American bride and a French bride were discussing love. “A Frenchman is very subtle when it comes to love,” the French girl explained. “He begins by kissing the fingertips, then he kisses the shoulder, then the back of the neck…”
“Boy!” the little American bride interrupted. “By that time an American husband is back from his honeymoon!”

In America things have gone crazy. Everything must be done with speed, and fast. Speed seems to be the only value. It has never been a value anywhere else before, it had to wait for America to be discovered to become a value. Speed has become a value. If you are doing something fast, it is good – nobody bothers about what it is or why you are doing it. If you are doing it fast, perfectly good. If you are driving fast, nobody cares where you are going. You may not be going anywhere in particular but if you are going fast, everybody is happy. You may be going directly into death but everybody is happy – going so fast! Beautiful!
No, I cannot do that, I cannot summarize. I have no teaching. And even if I had a teaching, I would not summarize it because the more you summarize something, the less alive it becomes. Love is vast, life is vast; law is limited. Law can be summarized; love cannot be summarized. Law is defined but life is excessive. You cannot summarize life, there cannot be a synopsis of life. You can summarize law. I am life. There is no way to summarize me. And I am still alive so whatsoever you summarize I will destroy tomorrow.
I have heard…

A Hollywood producer studied the large script submitted by a new writer and complained, “It’s much too long. Just give me a synopsis.”
The next day the writer returned with a five-page synopsis.
“It’s still too long,” insisted the producer. “I’m a busy man. Just give me a digest of this.”
An hour later the writer returned with a sheet of paper on which was written: hero is a lieutenant; heroine is married to his colonel. Madly in love with each other. Commit suicide.
“It’s no good,” said the producer. “It’s Anna Karenina word for word!”

When you summarize, by and by things become absurd.
Never summarize anything that is alive. I am still alive. When I am gone and dead then people will summarize my words. And I am going to give them a hell of a lot of trouble. It will not be an easy thing. They will go nuts. It will be impossible to put me into a synopsis.
It has always been so. You cannot summarize Buddha. Because of summaries many schools were born. Buddha died, then the question arose. People wanted to summarize. For forty years the man had been teaching – morning, afternoon, evening – for forty years. He had talked a lot, he had said many things, and now the master was gone and he had to be summarized.
A great assembly was called. Five hundred of the oldest disciples gathered together and they started reciting whatsoever they had heard the master say. There were many contradictions. One said something and somebody contradicted him, saying, “I heard him say exactly the opposite.” Then there was great debate, discussion – and splits. Thirty-six schools were born out of summarization, and those thirty-six have by now become three hundred and sixty.
When there is a man like Buddha, he is talking to different people in a different way because everyone’s need is different.
Truth is not something like a commodity. When you come to me, if you really want to know what my truth is, you will have to be here. I can express my truth to you only when I have come to know your truth too. When I have come to know you and you have come to know me, in that meeting will be the glimpse. It cannot be given to you. You will have to receive it and you will have to prepare for it. You will have to become a very relaxed being. You will have to be able to soak me up and allow me to sink deep into your heart.
No, I cannot supply a catechism as Christians do. That is not possible. And it would not be of any use to you.

Recovering from a severe operation, the man believed that the doctors were withholding from him his proper share of food. All he got each mealtime was a teaspoon of custard.
“Is that all I get?” he asked the nurse.
“That’s all for a while,” she answered.
He swallowed it with a good deal of grumbling.
“Nurse,” said the patient later, “bring me a postage stamp. I want to do a little reading.”

Summarized, it will be a postage stamp. It will not help. It will not be enough to read. If you want to read, read me. Don’t bother with summaries. Time will be needed because it is a love relationship between the master and the disciple. It needs time to grow, to become intimate. Only in deep intimacy can something be revealed, can be transferred. It is a transfer of energy, not of words.
So please, if you are going in a day or two, you can go, you are free. But don’t carry any idea about what I am teaching here because that will not be understanding; or, even worse, it will be a misunderstanding. If you have heard me say something, forget it, because in a day or two you could not have heard anything significant. And whatsoever you feel you have heard will be very non-essential.
It happened…

In the Amsterdam National Museum an elderly couple came to see Rembrandt’s masterpiece The Nightwatch. When, after a long walk through the many corridors, they finally reached the famous painting, the usher overheard the man say to his wife, “Look, what a beautiful frame!”

The frame may have been beautiful, but can you see that something is missing in the admiration? Something essential is lost. I am not saying that the frame was not beautiful, the frame may have been the most beautiful frame in the world, but to go to see Rembrandt’s masterpiece The Nightwatch and then to talk about the frame is absurd. Even to see the frame is foolish, stupid. The painting is not the frame. The frame has nothing to do with the painting.
What I am saying is just a frame, what I am is the painting. Look at the masterpiece and don’t be bothered with the frame.

The third question:
Can the master really save the disciple?
Certainly, absolutely. If the disciple is really a disciple he is already saved. It is not that first you have to be a disciple and then you will be saved. In your very being a disciple you are saved, in your very surrender you are saved. It is not that the master will save you afterward because you are a disciple – just by being a disciple you are saved. In that very surrender you have dropped the ego. That ego was the barrier; that ego was hindering the path. When the barrier disappears you are saved.
In fact, you have always been saved. You were carrying an unnecessary load and because of that load you could not fly into the sky. Now you can fly. The master is just an excuse. It is difficult for you to drop your ego without a master because you need some excuse. Otherwise how can you drop it? Where will you drop it? At whose feet can you drop it? The master is just an excuse.
You fall in love with a man. A man like Jesus, or a man like Buddha naturally attracts thousands of people, seekers, who fall in love. And the man is so tremendously beautiful that you would like to surrender all to him. That is just an excuse. Once you have surrendered you will know that you are not saved by anyone else; you are saved by your surrender. But it will be known only when you have surrendered, not before. To become a disciple is to be saved.
You ask: “Can the master really save the disciple?” It is very simple. There is nothing to fuss about. Sometimes it has even happened that a disciple has saved the master because, in fact, it is love that saves. Sometimes it has happened that the master was not really a master, but was a charismatic man, a man of great magnetism, and was not himself enlightened. Somebody surrendered to him and through surrender became enlightened. Many times it has happened that the disciple became enlightened before the master. You will be surprised because you think that you can only become enlightened through an enlightened master. All rubbish! You become enlightened through surrender. Even if you have surrendered to somebody who is just a pseudo-master, who simply pretends that he is a master, if your surrender is total you are saved. It has happened sometimes that the master was saved by the disciple when the disciple became enlightened.
Let me tell you one beautiful Hasidic parable:

Elisha Ben Abuya was a great religious scholar. But he was just a scholar. He attracted many people, many talented people. His name was known all over Israel. Many people came and surrendered to him. But he was just a scholar, a pundit, he was not a real master. He knew about God but he had never encountered God. It happened that late in his life he turned a skeptic and became rebellious – became irreligious, turned against God. He was a great logician and well versed in scriptures; it was very difficult to defeat him. When he started talking against God he was as impressive as when he was talking for God. He was a real intellectual.
His chief disciple Rabbi Meir tried many times to bring him back to the fold. The disciple tried to bring him back to the fold. Rabbi Meir, who was Elisha Ben Abuya’s disciple, had become enlightened.
The disciple tried many times to bring Elisha Ben Abuya back to the fold, but the old man was really a logician and it was impossible to argue with him. The disciple suffered very much because he loved the man. He knew that he was not enlightened and he knew that he was not a real man of knowing. But he loved him and felt grateful because he had become enlightened through him. Whosoever he was, whatsoever he was, Rabbi Meir had become enlightened through surrendering at Elisha Ben Abuya’s feet. How could he be ungrateful?
Rabbi Meir, however, persisted in his attempt. When he heard that Elisha was dangerously ill he went to visit him.
Rabbi Meir again asked him to repent and Elisha asked, “Will he receive me now? Will God receive me now? Will he forgive me?”
“Yes,” replied Rabbi Meir. Elisha wept and died.
A few days later Rabbi Meir was told that a fire was issuing out of the grave of his master. He went there, covered it with a mantle and said, “Slumber tonight, for perchance the Lord will save you, and if not, I will save you. Sleep until morning.”

This is of tremendous beauty. He says, “Sleep tonight, for perchance the Lord will save you. And if not, I will save you. Sleep until morning.” That’s why I say it is very simple for a master to save you because sometimes even the reverse has happened – that a disciple has saved a master.
But remember, it is love that saves; it is surrender that saves. Remember that love liberates. If you can remember that love liberates, that is a mantra: love saves, love liberates. Fall in love with a master and you are saved.

The fourth question:
Lieh Tzu devastates Confucius with few words and subtly. You have been devastating him discourse after discourse with a cannonade of words and have virtually clubbed him to death. I doubt if anyone in the ashram would defend Confucianism. Please let Confucius and me rest.
Both together? It is impossible. If you want to rest, Confucius must be killed utterly. With Confucius there is no possibility of rest.
Whatsoever I am saying or whatsoever Lieh Tzu is saying has nothing to do with the historical Confucius – remember it. I am not against that poor man, Confucius. Why should I be? He was a beautiful man in his own right.
Why am I trying to destroy Confucius so deeply? Because Confucius is part of your mind, he is a part of everybody’s mind. Confucius has ruled over humanity. You may not have even heard his name – that doesn’t matter; you may not know who he is, but deep inside, Confucius is the ruler.
In India, Manu is the ruler. He is the Indian counterpart of Confucius. All over the world there are counterparts of Confucius. Confucius is symbolic. What does he represent? He represents the legal mind, he represents the formal mind, he represents the ritual mind, he represents the conventional mind, the “straight” mind. He represents tradition.
I am destroying tradition, convention, the legal mind, the structure of the conformist. Confucius is the conformist par excellence. And you all have it in your minds.
Lao Tzu rarely enters your mind. He is rebellion. He is going beyond tradition. He is going beyond the past. He is going beyond all structures. Confucius is a structure; Lao Tzu is no-structure. Confucius is character; Lao Tzu is characterlessness, freedom. Remember it. All character is an imprisonment enforced on you by the society, enforced on you by the state, by the priest and the politician. This character that you carry around you is a cage. Lao Tzu says there is a different character which is not imposed by the society; a different discipline which is not enforced from the outside but comes from inner awareness. Only that is true. Follow only that. Follow only your own inner, small, still voice.
Confucius says, “Listen to the scripture, listen to the ancient masters, listen to tradition.” Lao Tzu says, “Listen only to your own inner voice and follow it, wherever it leads. It is God’s voice. It is Tao.”
You say: “I doubt if anyone in the ashram would defend Confucianism.” In fact, everybody is defending it. Nobody says it, but deep down you are defending it; otherwise you would all become enlightened. The moment you are not defending Confucius there is no barrier for you to becoming enlightened. You are enlightened! When Confucius is dropped you become enlightened; when Confucius goes out one door, enlightenment enters from another door.
If you are not enlightened, you must be defending Confucianism. It may not be very conscious; it may be just an unconscious habit – you have been conditioned for it. That’s why you ask me: “Please let Confucius and me rest.”
I cannot help you rest. I am here to help you rebel. Only after rebellion will real rest come. Whatsoever you now call rest is nothing but slumber, is nothing but a sort of sleep. Not all sleep is rest; in your sleep you dream of a thousand and one things and you go through many nightmares.
I would like for you to have real rest – what Jesus meant when he said to his disciples, “Come to me and I will give you rest. All those who are heavy laden, come to me. I will give you rest.” That rest is a totally different thing. It is not the rest that comes by living in a crowd with the herd, following the herd. Certainly you feel okay, but okay is just okay. No problem, no inconvenience – you live comfortably and you will die comfortably. That is not the rest I am leading you toward. Real rest means you have come into your own being – centered, grounded. You have been daring enough to assert that you are yourself, and you are no longer trying to imitate anybody else; you are not trying to become a carbon copy; you have become an authentic person, an authentic being. Then the rest comes, the real rest.
With Confucius that is not possible. With Confucius you will always be in conflict – Confucius means conflict. He will always say, “This is bad and this is good. Choose the good against the bad.” Then what will you do? You will have to repress the bad and enforce the good. You will become a hypocrite. Follow Confucius and you will be a hypocrite. Follow Lao Tzu and you are not following anybody; you are following yourself. And you will become an authentic being.
To be authentic is the only rest there is.

The fifth question:
I like to listen to your talks very much but I hate the meditations. Is it okay? Perhaps my path is that of prayer.
If you really enjoy my talks, you will enjoy the meditations too because they are interconnected. In fact, my talks are nothing but appetizers. If you enjoy the appetizer and you don’t enjoy the lunch, you are going to die sooner or later. You will die starved. The talks are just to prepare you for the meditations. If you hate the meditations then you have not heard me. Then you may think you have heard me but you have not.
Hearing me, what else is there to do? If you have heard me, you will be ready to go deep into the meditations. Whatsoever I am saying will become a real experience only when you have gone into the meditations. It will become your experience. Listening to me it will remain borrowed, listening to me you may be thrilled by the possibility of it; listening to me it is as if I am talking about the beautiful Himalayas – you listen to me and you enjoy it. But you have never been to the Himalayas and whatsoever I say is nothing compared to the beauty of the Himalayas. How can it be put into words? You will have to go.
If you are really listening to me, one day, suddenly, you will feel, “Now the time has come and I have to go for the adventure. I have to take the risk.” Meditations are a real journey. Here I simply seduce you for meditation. It is not the end, it is the beginning.
I have heard…

A movie-house usher was astonished to see a big, brown bear sitting in the front row, munching peanuts.
“Say, you!” he shouted. “You’re a bear! What are you doing in here?”
“Why, I enjoyed the book so much,” replied the bear, “I thought I’d like to see the picture.”

If you are really listening to me and enjoying it, one day you will want to see the picture too.
If it is true that you enjoy whatsoever I am saying, then how is it possible that you hate the meditations? I am not an entertainment. Maybe you are using me as an entertainment. Maybe sitting here for one and a half hours every day you forget your worries; for one and a half hours you are transported into another world, into my world. And you see beautiful things – at least you visualize, imagine them – and then you are gone. Then you become addicted to it. Every day you have to come and listen to me. Then it is just an intoxicant. It is not going to help.
I am talking about the food – just talk about food is not going to help. The menu is not the food. The talks are just the menu, then you will have to order.
It happened…

The American playboy checked into one of the most exclusive hotels in gay Paree. He told the room clerk he wanted the best room in the place.
When he reached the room he was impressed with its exquisite furniture and tasteful decor. However, he spied a number of colored buttons on the wall. “Tell me,” he asked the bellhop, “what are the buttons for?”
“Well, monsieur,” said the bellhop, “when you press the gold one, a beautiful blonde appears.”
“Go on,” said the playboy gleefully.
“When you push the red one, a redhead appears. And when you push the brown, a beautiful brunette appears.”
“Let’s forget about the room,” said the playboy. “I’ll take the buttons.”

But the buttons come with the room; just taking the buttons home won’t help – then you can go on pushing the buttons but nobody will appear.

In the memoirs of Lawrence of Arabia he writes that once he took twelve Arabs to France with him. This was the first time they had gone out of their country. There was a great exhibition in France and Lawrence had taken them to see it.
But he was very puzzled. Once they entered their bath they would not get out. They remained for hours in the bath! He thought, “It is natural. They come from a desert country where water is very scarce so they are enjoying their tub and their shower.” They jumped and danced in the bathroom and were not at all interested in the exhibition. The moment they would come back – and they were always in a hurry to come back to the hotel – they would say, “Let us go upstairs.” And they would run into the bathroom and enjoy themselves.
The last day, when everything was packed and put into the cars and they were leaving for the airport, all the Arabs suddenly disappeared. Lawrence inquired where they had gone because they were about to be late. Suddenly he remembered that maybe they were back in the bathroom. So he rushed upstairs and they were all there trying to take out the faucets.
He asked, “What are you doing?”
They said, “We thought why not take these faucets? We will enjoy them in Arabia.”

They thought that the water came out of the faucets. It was a miracle! They were not aware that there was a pipeline and a great mechanism behind it and you couldn’t just take the faucets – they would not be of any use.
What I am saying to you is just a faucet. There is a great source behind where it all comes from. Unless you go there, just listening to me is not going to help. It may be a solace, a consolation, an addiction, but it is not going to bring any revolution in your life.
You ask: “Is it okay?” It is not okay at all. You are wasting your time. If you stop listening to me and continue the meditations, that is far better than stopping the meditations and only listening to me.
Then you say: “Perhaps my path is that of prayer.” Don’t try to deceive yourself. Have you done any prayer? Have you been praying? You say perhaps; you have not even tried that. Maybe you are using the word prayer just to avoid meditation. Prayer itself is a meditation and to avoid meditation in the name of prayer will not help. These escapes are for weaklings. Don’t be a coward.
People come to me. If I gave them prayers and I told them, “Do this prayer,” they would come and say, “Osho, maybe prayer is not my path.” If prayer were given to them, they would say that prayer was not their path, that it is difficult to pray. If meditation is given they think that meditation is not their path. In fact, you don’t want to do anything; you don’t want to grow, you don’t want to be transformed.
There is a story about two ministers who were crossing one of the Scottish lakes:

This was in the days before roads and automobiles; a person got to his destination by getting into a boat and being ferried across the lake. Those lakes are sometimes treacherous. Storms can come up suddenly and within five minutes a boat can capsize and the people in it drown, even on what had been a beautiful and calm day.
The two ministers wanted to cross the lake. One was a tall, husky, six-foot countryman with muscles like a blacksmith, and the other was a small, weedy, studious townsman – the long and the short of it. They hired a boat, the old boatman got out the boat and got out the oars and they started off.
In about five minutes’ time a terrible storm came up and churned up the lake. The boat was rocking and the boatman said, “Me lads, you’ll have to help me. Grab hold of those other oars if you expect to come out of this alive.” So the two clergymen picked up the oars and began to bend their backs. It was pretty hard work, but for a few minutes they kept the boat straight into the wind.
Suddenly the storm got worse. The husky minister threw down his oars and said, “Let us pray.”
But the boatman yelled, “No, no, the little one can pray, but you keep on rowing.”

Don’t be a coward. Let the little ones pray. You take the challenge of the meditations. It is a challenge. Prayer seems to be easy because you have nothing to do; you just have to say, “God, do this, do that.” In prayer you give God work to do, and if he does not do it then he is responsible. You asked it, so what more can you do?
Meditation means to do the work yourself. And my feeling is that if you do your work to your uttermost capacity only then does God start working on you – never before it. Unless you help yourself, no help ever comes from God.
If you understand my approach… When your meditations succeed, only then can prayer start. Never before. When you have done all that you can do, when you have not saved anything, when you have put yourself totally at stake and you feel that nothing is happening, then you are entitled to ask the sky, “Now help me. What more can I do?” And the help comes.
Not doing anything on your own, just saying a prayer every night when you are going to sleep, when half asleep, just saying, “God do this, do that,” these things will not help you at all. If you really want God to do something to you, first you have to try your uttermost; at the optimum, help happens, never before it. When you are doing all that you can do, absolutely all that you can do, immediately, help is available.

The sixth question:
Recently you talked again about the adverse aspects of marriage. Would you please talk about what you mean by intimacy? Particularly, when is staying together through difficult times positive and when is it negative?
Marriage is a way to avoid intimacy. Creating a formal relationship is a trick. Intimacy is informal. If a marriage arises out of intimacy, it is beautiful; if you are hoping that intimacy will arise out of marriage, you are hoping in vain. Of course, I know that many people, millions of people, have settled for marriage rather than for intimacy because intimacy is growth – it is painful.
Marriage is very secure. It is safe. There is no growth in it. One is simply stuck. Marriage is a sexual arrangement; intimacy is a search for love. Marriage is a sort of prostitution, a permanent sort. Somebody goes to a prostitute; another has gotten married to a woman or to a man – it is a permanent prostitution. The arrangement is economical, not psychological, not of the heart.
So remember, if marriage arises out of intimacy it is beautiful. That means that everybody should have lived together before they got married. The honeymoon should not happen after marriage, it should happen before marriage. One should have lived the dark nights, the beautiful days, the sad moments, the happy moments together. One should have looked into each other’s eyes deeply, into each other’s being deeply.
How do you decide? If your intimacy is helping you to grow and to become mature, then it is positive and good and healthy, wholesome. If it is destructive and it is not allowing you to become mature – rather, it is helping you to remain childish, immature – then it is unhealthy. Any relationship that keeps you childish is evil. Get out of it. Any relationship that gives you challenges to growth, to go on an adventure, to go deeper and higher into life… I am not saying that a positive marriage will not have problems; it will have more problems than the negative marriage. A positive relationship will have more problems because every day new challenges will be there. But each time a problem is solved, you will have gone a little higher; each time a challenge is met, you will find something has become integrated into your being.
A negative relationship has no problems – or at the most pseudo-problems, so-called problems, not real problems. Have you noticed it? A wife and husband are fighting over such trivia. These are not problems. Even if you fight, it doesn’t give you anything, it doesn’t help growth. Look at wives and husbands; look at yourself. You may be a husband, a wife.
Just watch. If you are fighting over trivia – small things which don’t mean anything anyway – then you will remain immature, childish. Real problems, authentic problems, which really have to be faced, create great turmoil in your being; they bring a cyclone. One has to face them. Never avoid them. The trivial questions are an escape from the real questions. A husband and wife will fight over very small things: which film to go to and which not to go to; what color car should be purchased, what model, what make; what restaurant they are going to this evening. Such trivia! It does not make any difference. If you are making too much of a fuss, your relationship is not going to help you, will not give you any integrity, any center. I call it negative.
The positive relationship will face real problems. For example: if you are angry or if you are sad, you will be sad in front of your wife, you will not smile a false smile. And you will say, “I am sad.” This must be faced. If, walking on the road with your wife, you see a beautiful woman pass by and a great desire and longing arises in your heart, you will tell your wife that this woman created a great desire, stirred your heart. You will not avoid her; you will not avert your eyes. And you will not pretend that you have not seen the woman at all. Whether you pretend or not your wife already knows it! It is impossible for her not to know because immediately your energy, your presence, changes. These are real problems.
Just getting married to a woman doesn’t mean that you are no longer interested in any other women. In fact, the day you are not interested in any other women, you will not be interested in your wife either. Why? What has your wife got that is so special? If you are no longer interested in women, you will not be interested in your wife either. You are in love with her because you are still in love with women. She is just a woman. And sometimes you come across a woman who enchants you. You will say it to your wife, and you will face the turmoil that will arise. It is not trivia; it will create jealousy, it will create a struggle, it will disturb all rest, you will not be able to sleep at night. Your wife will be throwing pillows at you.
To be true creates real problems. To be authentic creates real problems. Say whatsoever is the case – never demur, never look sideways – look straight into it and be true. And help your wife to be true, too; help your husband to be true as well.
Yes, there are problems in real intimacy, more problems than in a negative state of intimacy, more problems. Because if you are really intimate with your woman, how can you avoid the fact that you become interested in another woman? You have to say it. That’s part of love, part of intimacy. You denude yourself, you expose yourself totally, you don’t hold anything back. Even if during the night you dream a dream about another woman, in the morning you will relate it to your wife.
I have heard about a film director…

During the night he started talking to his girlfriend in his sleep, and he had the habit of talking loudly. So he was saying beautiful things and his wife started staring at him. When you are married, even in your dreams, you remain afraid of your wife. Suddenly he became afraid. What was he saying? He felt his wife looking at him and with great presence of mind he said, “Cut! Next scene.”
…as if he were directing a film!

If you really love your woman, in the morning you will tell her your dream – that you made love to a woman in your dream in the night. Everything must be shared. Your whole heart must be shared.
Intimacy means that there is no privacy. You don’t carry anything private now – at least with the person you are intimate with. You drop privacy. You are nude and naked. Good, bad, whatsoever you are, you open your heart. Whatsoever the cost that you have to pay for it, and whatsoever the trouble you go through with it, you go through it. That brings growth.
And you help the other person also to drop all inhibitions, screens, masks. In an intimate relationship one comes to see the original face of the other and one comes to show his own original face. If a relationship helps you to find your original face, then it is meditative, then it is religious. If your relationship simply helps you to create more and more masks and hypocrisies then it is irreligious.
Try to understand my definition. If my definition is understood then out of a hundred marriages, ninety-nine are irreligious because they are simply creating more and more falsity. From the very beginning the falsity starts.
I have heard…

The minister, casting an appraising eye over the bridal couple before him and the goodly crowd come to witness the ceremony, intoned, “If there is anyone here who knows why these two should not be joined together in wedlock, let him speak now or forever hold his peace.”
“I’ve got something to say,” a voice rang out bold and clear.
“You shut up!” snapped the minister. “You’re the groom!”

From the very beginning! They were not even married yet. The minister said, “You shut up! You are the groom!” That’s how the life of a married couple starts.
People keep quiet. They don’t say anything. They don’t say the truth at all. They pretend lies. They smile when they don’t want to smile; they kiss when they don’t want to kiss. Naturally, when you kiss and you don’t want to kiss, the kiss is poisonous. Naturally, when you don’t want to smile and you have to smile, your smile is ugly, it is political.
Then somehow one gets accustomed to these things, one settles for the falsity, for the inauthenticity of life. And one consoles oneself in a thousand and one ways.

“Oh, we’re very happy,” insisted the husband. “Of course, once in a while my wife throws dishes at me. But that doesn’t change the situation one bit. Because if she hits me she’s happy and if she misses me I’m happy!”

One comes to such an arrangement by and by – both are happy.

The car in which the elderly couple was riding went over the cliff. It was an awful wreck.
“Where am I?” moaned the man when he opened his eyes. “In heaven?”
“No,” said his dazed wife. “I’m still with you.”

These settlements are very hellish. What you know in the name of relationship is just a pseudo-game.
So remember it as a criterion: if you are growing more and becoming an individual, if life is happening more to you, if you are becoming more open, if more beauty is felt in existence, if more poetry is arising in your heart, if more love flows through you, more compassion, if you are becoming more aware in your life, then the relationship is good. Carry on. Then it is not a marriage. Then it is intimacy.
But if the reverse is happening; if all poetry is disappearing and life is becoming prosaic, if all love is disappearing and life is becoming just a load, a dead load, if all song is dying and you are just living as a duty, then it is better to escape out of this prison. It is better for you and it is better for your partner with whom you are living.

The seventh question:
Was the man in today's story (where a man had no memory) enlightened? Or had he a glimpse? Do we get it and forget it and get it and forget it and one day maybe not forget?
Yes, the man had a glimpse. If he had really become established, then there would have been no way to bring him back – you cannot bring a buddha back. He only had a glimpse. He was just entering the door and he was pulled back. If he had entered the temple, then he would have been gone, gone forever.
Many times a glimpse will come and will disappear. It is natural because if enlightenment suddenly came like lightning, like thunder, you would be crushed. You would not be able to receive it. It would be too much. You would go mad.
Glimpses come and prepare you. Glimpses will come, more and more, and by and by you will become acclimatized to a totally different world, a totally different dimension of being. Otherwise you would go mad. Sometimes it happens that a man who has been working alone without a master, and is not aware that one should not rush into it, rushes into it and goes mad.
The master is needed for many things. But he is most needed when you are coming very close to enlightenment. Then he is needed very, very deeply because he will allow you to go only so far. Slowly, slowly, in quantities, he will help you to absorb the vastness of the experience, the tremendousness of it. It is a mysterium tremendum. You are just like a drop and enlightenment is like an ocean dropping into you. One cannot be greedy. First the master pushes you into it; and then he holds you back and allows you to go very slowly into it.
The man in the story must have had only a glimpse.
You ask me: “Do we get it and forget it and get it and forget it and maybe one day maybe not forget?” No. One day one forgets both getting and forgetting. Then, only then is it there. One day one forgets both getting and forgetting; one day one simply recognizes that it is your innermost nature, that it is not something that you can get or that you can forget.
You can get something from the outside, you can forget something from the outside, but this is your own flowering. It is you, it is your fragrance. How can you get it and how can you forget it? One day one forgets both getting and forgetting. Then one has come home.

The last question:
Six hours of sleep every night. An hour and a half of satsang – playing the beautiful spiritual game with you. Then suddenly switching over from the cold marble floor to a swivel chair – playing the orange airline executive! Spectacular evening performances – changing daily. From absurd comedy to heavy melodrama. Many roles, many plots. Always extempore. Playing father, husband, friend, stranger, wise man, fool!

The one real factor in all this which isn't a game is a deep, deep love for you. This is what makes all the games exciting. Can this be what they call working with the master?
Yes, that is exactly what is meant by working with the master – to live suffused with the presence of the master, to live suffused with the love of the master and to play all the games that God wants you to play. To go on playing where God has placed you. Everything becomes a game. Yes, that’s exactly what it is. Love remains the only reality, everything else becomes a game. If you can play the many games of life without being serious, without being identified, remaining a witness and enjoying the fun of it, you have understood.
To be with a master is to learn that all of life is a game, a maya. Nothing is serious. Nothing must be avoided. Nothing must be chosen in particular – whatsoever happens, allow it to happen. Remain alert and allow it to happen and your alertness will by and by help you to slip into totality.
Remain aware and go on playing the games. Never escape, never run away. To run away from the world means that you have rejected God. To reject the world means that you have rejected the God who has made the world. Love the world, because that is the only way to love God. And enjoy. And whatsoever he wants you to do, wherever he has placed you – enjoy that place. Sometimes it is on the marble floor, sometimes on a swivel chair; sometimes as a wise man, sometimes a fool. Sometimes it is this, sometimes that – remain fluid. Move into one role, then to another; flow, don’t get frozen.
Seriousness freezes. Remain non-serious. Take life as a joy and it becomes prayer.
Enough for today.

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