Sermons in Stones 10

Tenth Discourse from the series of 30 discourses - Sermons in Stones by Osho.
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Recently I developed epileptic fits – apparently due to a tiny cyst in my brain – which the specialists don't understand. But for me it feels like something amazing is happening. The first fit, in June, came totally as a surprise, and felt like a big hit on the head: wake up! Since leaving the commune I have been living unaware. Afterward I changed; wanted to be alone, silent, to meditate and to listen to you. Gradually I'm more with friends again, feeling more mature, more centered. Then, while feeling physically very well and clear in myself, another fit happened a few days ago. Already I feel something different again, a greater intensity – sometimes very afraid, sometimes so ecstatic I feel I could explode! Generally I am more playful. For the first time I feel beautiful, safer, more loving. Life is very beautiful and joyful. I enjoy the prelude to the fits; my learned knowledge disappears and I'm left with a sense of me – very easy, no effort. But fear comes too: I'm afraid of what might happen, and during the fits I sense a huge no in me. I feel that if I could say yes instead, it would somehow be better. Osho, please could you comment?
There are a few things which are important for everybody, not only to the questioner.
The most important thing is that medical science, physiology, psychology, are very immature in the sense that they are only doing their work on the surface of human beings. They are not finding a way to man’s center. And because they do not accept the existence of some consciousness beyond mind, of some consciousness beyond death, they are completely closed, prejudiced against the whole tremendous effort mystics have made in finding the center of consciousness.
Many times the diagnosis of a physiologist or a physician may be absolutely wrong for the simple reason that his vision is not comprehensive enough. He understands man only as matter, and mind as just a by-product of matter, a shadow phenomenon with nothing beyond it, nothing eternal, nothing that is going to remain forever.
They have created a picture of human beings which creates despair in intelligent people. And because of their outright rejection, their approach is not scientific; it is as superstitious as any other fanatic religious or political person’s. Science has no right to deny consciousness unless it has explored the inner sky of human consciousness and found that it is dream stuff, not a reality but only a shadow. They have not explored – they have simply assumed.
Materialism is the assumption, the superstition of the world of science, just as God, heaven and hell are superstitions of the religious world. Science is not yet pure science and it cannot be, because the scientist is not yet innocent, unprejudiced, ready to go with the truth in spite of himself and his conditioning.
The fits that are happening to you are not a disease. I am not a physician but I am not looking from the physician’s side of the phenomenon, I am looking from the other shore. Your fit is really a rushing, overwhelming consciousness that your mind cannot contain, and because it cannot contain it, it goes unconscious.
I will not call it a disease. I will say you are blessed. And the reason I am so certain that it is not a disease is because after the fit you feel blissful, ecstatic as you have never felt. After a disease you cannot feel ecstatic – you will feel exhausted. After a disease you will feel weak, shaken, wobbly…but you are feeling ecstatic, you are feeling more blissful than you have ever imagined you could feel.
The fruit is the evidence of the tree it has come from. If it is juicy, sweet, tasteful, it is saying something about the tree because whatever it has is a gift from the tree. The tree must be young, the tree must be full of juice. Just looking at the fruit or the flower you can infer much about the tree.
What happens after your fits proves that your fits are not those of a sick man – and I want you to understand something which is missing from medical science. Your fit is because of an abundant release of energy. The mind is capable only of a certain amount: the day-to-day energy which is exhausted very easily. From your center, floods of energy are approaching the brain system. The brain system, the mind, is not able to absorb that much energy; it goes into a state of coma. The doctor will look at the coma, he will wonder about the fit, he will try to find the cause…. And your doctors have not been able to find the cause; they will never be able to find the cause because they are looking in the wrong direction. They are looking in the mind itself, as if something is wrong in the mind; hence the fit. Nothing is wrong in the mind – but the energy beyond the mind is becoming available to the mind.
Mind is a beggar. You will have to learn to live as an emperor, and the fits will disappear.
The fits are symbolic that great changes are happening in you.
I am reminded of a few things which will be helpful to you. Five thousand years ago in China, acupuncture was discovered in an accident. A man had suffered his whole life from terrific migraines, and the Chinese medicine had not been helpful at all. They did everything but nothing worked. It seemed the case was hopeless. But they were in the same fallacy as your physicians are.
This man had gone to the forest to collect some wood and was hit by a hunter’s arrow accidentally. The arrow hit his leg and his migraine evaporated instantly!
Now ordinarily you could not connect the two; this was a new revelation. He went back to his physicians and told them what had happened: “This arrow has done something: for the first time in my life I am feeling healthy in my head; otherwise it was always heavy.” Even if it was not a severe migraine, something of the pain had become almost natural to him. But it had disappeared so miraculously that he was afraid to take the arrow out; it was better to live your whole life with this arrow stuck in your leg than to have that migraine again!
But the doctor said, “The arrow cannot be allowed to remain. It will create poison in the body; it may be poisonous already. It has to be pulled out. But don’t be worried, it has given us some clue.”
This is how acupuncture was born. The physicians took out the arrow, but the migraine never returned. Over hundreds of years, slowly, slowly they discovered that there are seven hundred centers, interconnected in the body, and it is not necessary that your migraine has its source in your head. The source can be anywhere in the body. It can be at any of those seven hundred centers. The only thing that has to happen is that that center is vibrating your brain, sending waves of energy to your brain which are hitting other centers and creating the migraine.
Now because of that arrow a particular center in the leg was dead – it could not broadcast anymore. That was the cause, and they were trying everything but it was all off the wall! And they had no idea, nobody ever had any idea that the center might exist somewhere else and unless that center was cured, the effect that was showing somewhere else would continue to show.
This fit is something very similar to the fits of Ramakrishna. He is the only mystic in the East who used to go into unconsciousness with any slight provocation. Somebody would start singing a song of devotion to God and that was enough…in the middle of the road, in the traffic of Calcutta – which is the maddest in the whole world! What you see in Bombay is the best in India; if you want to see the real thing, go to Calcutta! It is simply crazy. It was so difficult to take Ramakrishna from one place to another place because even if somebody said “Jai Ramji” – that is a common greeting in India, “Victory to the God, Ram” – that would be enough, Ramakrishna would fall flat on the ground. Just the name of Rama…he was so sensitive, his system had developed to such a delicate vulnerability, that even a small triggering and he would be in samadhi.
Doctors were called and they were in the same difficulty, they could not figure it out: the man was perfectly healthy, there was no reason for him to become unconscious, and it remained a mystery to the physicians. But the reason why it remained a mystery to them was that they were not ready to look from a different perspective. It is not the kind of fit in which you become unconscious because the quantity of consciousness in you is so small. Some shock – your wife dies, your business goes bankrupt – just a slight shock is enough because there is not much energy, you are not very conscious. It is just a small amount of energy, it can be crushed by any accident. This is the nature of the ordinary fit: you lose your conscious energy and only unconsciousness remains.
As far as the questioner is concerned, it is happening totally differently. It was happening totally differently to Ramakrishna. It is not that your consciousness disappears and you become unconscious; on the contrary, so much consciousness descends that you are not able to cope with it. Your mind is simply in a state as if suddenly frozen…so much is showering and your mind has no experience, no discipline to manage it. It is too much, and because of too much consciousness, it will be felt on the outside that you are having a fit.
The symptoms are the same. Only one thing is different and that is what happens after the fit – that is decisive. If it is a fit where consciousness has disappeared the man will find himself utterly weak, sad, feeling as if he has died and is coming back to life again. He will not have any memory that he has been unconscious for two hours, but his whole body will show symptoms that he has passed through a trauma, a painful trauma.
If it is not a fit but a glimpse of samadhi, the person will wake up rejuvenated, young again, fresh as he has never been – absolutely silent, peaceful, with a clarity to things.
Even your question has that clarity. The question has not come out of your confusion but out of your clarity.
Rejoice, and allow those fits. Don’t try to control them, don’t even make an effort to control. Rather, try to be awake while the fit is there. Slowly, slowly you will become capable of being awake while the fit is there, and then there is no fit because you are no longer unconscious and there is no discontinuity in your consciousness. It is a continuous flow…growing, flowering, becoming wider and bigger.
You need not be worried about it, but you should not be going to the physicians and doctors because they will stigmatize you, convince you that something is wrong. They will make you afraid that you are losing control of your mind. They can make you so much afraid of the disease that you will start to unconsciously prevent the fit and that will be a disaster. Even now, although after the fit you are feeling beautiful, still – in the fit you feel a great “NO,” you don’t want to go into it. You have already accepted the idea of the doctors that it is a disease, that if you go deeper into it you will be mad.
I say to you: if you can go deeper into it you will be certainly mad in the same sense that Gautam Buddha is mad, Socrates is mad. These people are not really mad, they alone are sane but they are in a mad world.
And they are in such a minority that only after millions of people does there come a point when somebody becomes enlightened. He is so alone. And the whole world is not ready to accept anything that has not been happening to them…and naturally they are in a majority. And this man – Gautam Buddha or Mahavira or Bodhidharma – is trying to say that he has achieved something which you have not achieved. It hurts your ego, it annoys people, it irritates people because it brings the question clearly into their focus: “Is there life, a sane life?” They know life is not sane, but where to find the sanity?
All the religions have been saying that to find it is a very difficult job, it takes lives and lives to attain. So they are discouraging people…all the religions have been a tremendous disadvantage to humanity because they have all discouraged you. An authentic religion should encourage you.
You are asking me, because you must be feeling inside that if you can say yes totally to this strange space that overwhelms you…. Why do you want to say yes to it? And why does there come only a big no?
The no is coming because everybody you talk to about it is going to tell you that this is a dangerous disease: “Pull yourself together, pull out of it.” It is the world around you that is making you afraid.
I would like to say to you that there is nothing to fear. You can say yes. You can allow existence whatever it wants to do with you. You can simply leave yourself in the hands of the unknown, and a miracle is waiting for you.

My daughter, Ma Shanti Mara, who is seven years old, asked me to translate her question to you because she does not speak English. Her question is: “Warum gibt es Gott?” – why is God? She is now at school and confronted with “religion,” and more and more the question was forming in her heart and head. Now she is beginning to realize that at home, sannyas is happening, and outside, something else. Would you please comment?
The question is significant. Children always – almost always – ask, “What is God? Where is God? How does he look?” These are simple curiosities. But Shanti has asked a rare question, very rarely asked: why is God? There is no question of what God is, there is no question of where he is, there is no question of how he looks.
Her question is more fundamental – “Why?”
Why is the hypothesis of God needed?
It is not a simple curiosity. She has pinpointed the weakest point of all the religions – why God? No religion has been able to answer the question, no philosopher has been able to figure it out. Because whatever reason you give – “God is because of this reason,” – God becomes secondary. And no religion can put God second to anyone, so they go on round and round giving answers and knowing perfectly well that none of their answers is going to answer the question. But I can answer the question because I do not belong to any established religion.
God is because you are full of fear.
It has nothing to do with religion, nothing to do with philosophy. It has something to do with your psychology. God is your fear, projected, magnified unto the skies, made bigger….
The Indian God has one thousand hands. He must look like a centipede! So if you meet some big centipede, be respectful! – who knows…. The Indian God has three faces – obviously he needs them so that he can look all around; otherwise he is looking to one side and on the other side the world goes mad, which is always possible. So he has to be continuously on watch. The idea looks very good but it is basically your fear.
The fear is whether God knows you or not. So big a crowd on this small planet…and there are estimated to be fifty thousand planets in the world where there is life. And this is only about the world that we have come to know through science; it is not the whole world, it is only a small part. Every day new territory is revealed, and Albert Einstein said in one of his letters that it seems the world has no limits.
Logically it cannot have, because to make a limit you need two things. You cannot make a limit with one thing. You have a fence around your garden because the gardens of your neighbors are there. You can make a fence – but can you create a fence where the world ends, and there is nothing beyond it? And even nothing beyond it is something beyond it. Who knows what that nothing contains? And it will be infinite, the exploration has to continue.
Man’s science is very undeveloped and you will be surprised; if you look backward then you can understand. Whatever you are doing in the hospitals and the medical colleges seems to be right, but if you look at the history of fifty years ago, you will be surprised – everything that has looked right has proved wrong in fifty years’ time.
Just fifty years ago the treatment for a madman was bleeding – his blood had to be taken out. Naturally, he became weak – if he was a violent type of madman, destructive, attacking people, naturally he will not do such a thing now. He cannot do it, he is so weak. Do you think this is treatment? You have simply made the madman weak. Soon, within a month or two, he will be back again. Once the blood that was taken out is replaced by fresh food, air, sun rays, he will prove that what you have done was simply stupid. And now they recognize that it was stupid, it had nothing to do with madness. But for three hundred years it continued to be the authoritative medical treatment for mad people.
Now whatever you are doing you cannot be very certain about it. Tomorrow it may be proved wrong.
But experts have a tendency to be authoritative. They will not listen to what I am saying, because to listen to me means to change their whole vision of life.
For example, I was saying that the first questioner’s fits have nothing to do with mind, that it has to do something with spiritual energy that is flooding the mind – and it has been happening to mystics, it is not a new phenomenon. They should not treat the person as insane. They should not try to prevent the fits because if the fits are prevented then the person can really go wrong, can go mad. Now, through fits the overflow of energy is released. If the fit is prevented you have closed the only outlet for it.
But they will not understand what I am saying, that you have to help the person to center his spiritual energy, to crystallize it…. And there are methods. Once it is crystallized and centered and rooted, it will not overflow the small mind and the fits will disappear, and without any harm to the person.
But to accept this small approach they will have to change their whole prejudiced mind and that seems to be one of the most difficult things for people to do. On the contrary, what they will do is to put a case in court against me saying that I am not a doctor and I should not tell people what is a disease and what is not a disease.
I am not prescribing medicines to anyone. I am simply making it clear that what you are thinking is a disease is not a disease but a blessing. If you can say yes, then the conflict between you and the overflooding energy will disappear, and for the first time you will know who you are, what the meaning of life is. For the first time you will know that there is no death – only forms change; the formless spirit continues. And you are the formless.
This is my way of deciding: If after the fit you were going into a bad state of mind – bitter, sad, frustrated, angry – then I would have said to continue the treatment because something is wrong with the mind. But because your experience after the fit is so grand, has such beauty…you should forget all about disease and the doctors. You are absolutely on the right path. Start saying yes to it and don’t go into it with fear because fear causes a shrinking. Go with joy, dancing.
It is an invitation from the beyond. Accept it gracefully, and there is much in store for you to be surprised.

In Rajneeshpuram I used to worship for long hours every day. This would still the state of mind in general; and the peaks of meditation I experienced continuously were great. That kind of thing does not seem to be happening here in Bombay, even after so much relaxation and not much work to do. Please explain whether this is due to the surroundings and situations here, or for some other reasons.
The method that was being used in Rajneeshpuram comes from Gurdjieff. He himself got it from ancient Sufi sources.
You will have to understand a few things before you can understand the answer to the question.
According to Gurdjieff – and I agree with him – your life energy has four layers. The topmost layer of your energy is very thin, it is only for day-to-day work. By the evening you are tired and you want to go to sleep. That day-to-day energy needs recharging every night. In the morning you are again fresh, ready to work.
The second layer is the emergency layer. It is bigger because it is a question of emergency. You come home tired, the whole day…and it has not been one of those great days when whatever you touch becomes gold; it has been a very ugly day. Tired, frustrated, you just want to go and drop dead into bed, but as you are dropping into bed – unfortunately you are still alive – the house catches fire! You forget all your tiredness, you are running for hours to put the fire out. You have forgotten that you are hungry, you have forgotten that you had come just to go to sleep. You are so full of energy, so vibrant, that even when the fire is put out it will take hours for you to go to sleep because you became so excited. It was not only that the house was on fire, you were on fire too! It will take a little time for the fire to cool down. All the thoughts that have been moving so fast in you will take a little time to settle. This is the emergency level.
When somebody fasts for many days he has to live on the emergency level. When somebody forgets his way in the forest for days together, he has to live on the emergency level. Ordinarily, we have made life so secure, comfortable and safe that millions of people never come to know their emergency layer of energy.
Then there is a third layer which is even bigger. That connects you with the whole life of the universe. And below that is the fourth which has no boundaries, it is unlimited. When you reach to the fourth you are one with existence. Then the whole energy of existence is your energy.
In the commune…and this was misunderstood all over the world; this is how everything is misunderstood. People understand only that for which they have been conditioned. They think that is all, while in fact the whole has no boundaries and you can go on exploring in any dimension, to any depth, without coming to the end.
People were working twelve hours a day and sometimes fourteen hours a day. To outsiders this looked like they had been hypnotized – otherwise who is going to work fourteen hours continuously? But the reality was that these people were under a certain program of evolving consciousness. It is somewhere from twelve to fifteen hours that the first layer disappears, is finished. If you have been working hard for twelve hours, the first layer will be burned out. Ordinarily you stop, it is time to take your supper and go to bed.
This is where Gurdjieff comes in. He says, “If you can continue now, when there is no energy, you are completely empty of energy as far as you know – those hidden layers are not known to you – continue!” A moment comes when suddenly all day-to-day energy is exhausted, and immediately the second layer becomes available to you. You are flooded with an energy so powerful that people who have come to that energy have felt that now they can do anything. Nothing is impossible, the energy seems to be so great.
But before you can reach the second level the first has to be exhausted. And there is no way of giving you any proof, argument or evidence. You have to do it and experience it.
Anybody who has done it has never come back empty handed. Once you have tasted the second layer of energy – which is purer, unpolluted – naturally your desire to go deeper becomes a thirst, an intense longing….
If you go on working for thirty-six hours, non-stop, you can open a passage to the third layer of your energies. And to be in the third layer of energies is to know things that you always wanted to know. It is in this layer of energy that one experiences love without attachment, one experiences love as sharing, not as relationship. It is in this part of energy that you experience yourself separate from body, from mind, from everything. You are just a witness – and that is the fourth.
Between the third and the fourth there is a very thin Japanese paper curtain. From the third you can even see things moving into the fourth, behind the paper curtain. And it is only a question of removing the curtain, because if it was for you to work and exhaust the third layer it would be impossible. You cannot exhaust it, it is far bigger than you.
You are connected with the whole life system. The fourth brings you home, brings you back to the crystal-clear nature of your being.
Here in Bombay you are relaxed, there is not much work for you to do; that’s why your meditation is not going deeper. That work part was an essential part. If the whole day long you are relaxed, your relaxation will remain superficial – it will be spread over a long period but it will be thin. If you have been working intensely for twelve or fourteen hours you deserve the same intensity, the same depth of relaxation – that is a natural phenomenon, a nature that is continuously looking after you. But even nature cannot go against its laws.
The law is: if you want the experience of deep relaxation then you will have to go into deep exertion.
There is no need to go anywhere else. Here you can do jogging, running, swimming. Exert yourself so the first layer, which is never fresh…. It has to be used every day. It is just pocket money, you need not carry it forever. As you start some kind of work with totality you will find your meditation coming back – and it will be deeper this time, because in the commune whether you were consciously aware of it or not, unconsciously you felt that you were being forced to work. The very idea that you are being forced to work destroys the beauty. Your work remains half-hearted and your meditation will remain half-hearted too.
I know that working twelve hours or fourteen hours is difficult – and particularly if you have not worked so much in your life it is painful.
The whole body hurts, sleep becomes difficult. Because you don’t understand why this much work is being given to you, there is resistance…you do it, but not with a dance.
Here nobody will be forcing you. You will be doing your jogging or swimming or running on your own accord. This will bring you closer to totality and a total act brings its reward in a total silence.
From tomorrow morning start…a few other sannyasins may be ready to come and join you, and it will be good on Juhu Beach. So first jog and dance and sing and then rest there on the beach for a few seconds or a few minutes just listening to the sound of the waves, feeling the sun, the wind. Fall in a kind of synchronicity, become one with it.
It is not that you are separate from the ocean and the earth and the sun. You are not. We are all connected. And to remember all those connections makes you a member of this vast universe. The trees and the rocks and the stars all turn into a great brotherhood.
Life starts giving you its secrets as you become more and more available to it. It is very just and very fair. You get only that which you deserve.

I have heard that some people claim to be doing the same work that you do. Is it not true that while others are trying to alter the major disturbances in people's programs, your only reason for living is to ensure the elimination of the programs altogether? In any case, could one program eliminate another, even if it wanted to? Are they not left behind on the shores of western maintenance-man psychology? – tepid reformers, not revolutionaries?
No program can replace another program. Every program can repress the older program in you. The older program goes deeper into the unconscious and the new program becomes your personality. And psychologists are deceiving the whole world by saying that they are deprogramming people. It is not deprogramming, it is only reprogramming.
Your insight is true, that the therapists, psychoanalysts and others of the same kind, are claiming that they are doing the same work as I am doing.
In the first place, I am not doing any work.
In the second place, their work and my approach are totally different.
You have got the point, that they are simply adjusting people’s normal behavior. All the psychologists are doing only one thing and it is the best paying profession in the world: they are just keeping you mediocre, normal.
It is good that these people did not appear a little earlier; otherwise Jesus Christ would not have been crucified but psychoanalyzed. All the mystics of the world would have been put into psychiatric hospitals – they have to be made normal, they are behaving abnormally.
Mahavira walking naked – naturally it will look like something has gone wrong in this man’s head.
The psychologists are just maintaining the society as it is. Hence the society pays them more than any other profession, although their work is nil. But the society pays them highly for the simple reason that the status quo should not be changed. If people remain normal then they cannot gather courage enough to change the structure of the society, to change the future of man.
Normal people do normal things.
Revolutionary action is not a normal thing.
The very idea to change humanity completely, to change the human world so deeply that it becomes disconnected with the past is not within the hands of normal people. It needs geniuses, and all geniuses are abnormal.
The word abnormal can be used for both: those who have fallen below the mind and those who have gone above the mind. Both have become abnormal. That’s why there is sometimes a similarity between a madman and a mystic, some kind of similarity. You may not be able to figure out what is similar but there is some kind of similarity, and the similarity is that both are out of the mind. One has fallen below the mind and one has gone above the mind. Both are no longer living in the mind – that is the similarity. But it is such an invisible phenomenon that to figure it out is difficult.
In the west there are many people of the quality of Ramakrishna who are in madhouses, because in the west going above the mind is simply not acceptable – there is no “beyond”, so Ramakrishna is simply mad.
In the east just the opposite has been happening for centuries. There are many mad people who are thought to be saints because their behavior has some similarity. You may not be able to grab hold of it but there is some similarity.
I have been in touch with a few people who have been worshipped like incarnations of god but really they were just mad. But once you have accepted something, you start interpreting accordingly.
Near Jabalpur where I lived for twenty years, there was a man – Tuntun Pal Baba. no relation to Tintin! He was very old, ancient. He never said anything.
I went many times and remained there for a few days just to watch him. He started becoming afraid of me because he certainly understood that I was not his follower or worshipper, that I was looking for something else.
He had a paralysis of the left side so he could not even hold a cup of tea with his own hands. His left hand was almost dead and his right hand was also trembling; he was old and weak so somebody would have to hold his cup. Even drinking the tea was difficult because half of his face was paralyzed. So tea would be flowing all over his robe and just in the middle…he lived only on tea. He would give the cup to somebody. half the tea he had taken himself, and half he would give to somebody – whoever was present there. That was his prasad.
Such a disgusting scene…because his saliva was going into it and people would drink that tea as if they had found nectar. And these were the people who had gone there for some desire to be fulfilled, some sickness to be cured. Somebody is childless…a child to be given; somebody’s son is lost and he wants to find him…all kinds of people, but not a single spiritual seeker.
And there was no answer – the only answer was the cup of tea. So you would drink the tea, go home, and with the miracle of Tuntun Pal Baba have a child immediately! Hundreds of people were going, just a queue the whole day. If one hundred people come, fifty are going to be cured – they were going to be cured even if they had not come, because everybody who becomes sick does not die. So the business is perfectly good: at least fifty percent are going to be cured and these fifty percent will spread the news, they will exaggerate it – which is just human nature – and more people will be coming.
Because of the Indian conditioning, the other fifty who failed thought they must have done some evil act, so evil that even a paramhansa’s blessing is not able to remove it. Or perhaps they would have to find another source of divine grace; perhaps Tuntun Pal Baba is not the right person for them. They will never come back to tell the story that the prasad, The present from Baba has not worked. Only the people for whom it has worked will come back again, and with new people…the crowd will go on growing.
I used to sit there and watch the crowd, the faces – what kind of people come and what does that man have? One afternoon in the hot summer there was nobody else, I was alone with the baba. He asked me, “Why are you unnecessarily torturing yourself in the heat in this village?” I don’t know how this idea entered people’s minds that I am an incarnation of god. The more I denied it, the more they became convinced – because that is one of the symbols of the incarnation of god, that he will deny it.
“I am a humble man, I am not a reincarnation of god,” he said. “I am a poor man, uneducated. I had no idea that I was creating trouble for myself. The more I denied, the more people were coming. And because of this paralysis I cannot talk much. And this tea! – I have not started it, people just started it themselves, because there is nothing else with me – I only drink tea. People just started it. The cup might be half full and somebody would take it out of my hand and give it to somebody else, and the whole day…. so the whole day I have to drink tea!”
I said, “You should have told them that this was nonsense. I can take you out of this place.”
He said, “What is the point? Because they are being helped, although I am not helping them.” He was a sincere, simple man…. “They are being helped so what is the harm? Even if fifty percent of people are helped…poor people, they cannot pay for medical treatment, they cannot go to big cities and big hospitals. If they are being cured, let them believe that I am a god. But sometimes even I start giggling in the night – what kind of a god? Half paralyzed, cannot eat anything, only liquid…and now that liquid has become only tea.”
The last time I visited him he was dying. He whispered in my ear, “Try to explain to these people that you create these illusions yourself and you don’t even give me a chance to refute it. I am saying I am not a reincarnation but you are not ready to listen to it.”
I have seen a few more people. This man was not mad at least, he was only sick, old. But I have seen mad people. Their madness is thought to be something divine. In their madness they may do anything, they may dance on the street….
I was passing through Kanpur; I had a meeting in Kanpur and after the meeting, as I reached the railway station I saw a crowd. Somebody told me that there was a godman, and that’s why the crowd was there. So I went inside the crowd and I could not believe…this man used to be a servant in the hostel where I had lived. He felt a little ashamed.
I said, “Don’t be ashamed. in this country you can be ashamed of anything but not of being a reincarnation of god – enjoy! Because in your job what were you getting?”
He said, “That much is being collected by my followers now.”
He had six followers who were continuously collecting money from people. If you gave money you could go close to him, touch his feet, have his blessings. He had nothing to say.
I asked him, “When can I see you alone?”
He gave me a time in the night and he met me. I said, “You were a simple person, what happened?”
He said, “I also cannot figure out, what happened. I had gone to a marriage party and there, in the sweets, they had mixed some drugs so I started doing strange things. I threw my clothes off, went naked into the market…and a crowd followed me, and the same people who had given me the sweet started saying, ‘He is a reincarnation!’ I was half conscious, half unconscious. I could hear somebody saying, ‘He is a reincarnation of god!’ and I was not in a state to argue. In fact, I thought perhaps I was a reincarnation of God!”
“I started dancing more madly and since that day, I am enjoying it. It is a good business. No qualification is needed.”
In the West, they are making one mistake. Here we are making another mistake. But the mistake is possible….
The man who has gone beyond mind and the man who has fallen below mind – both are out of the mind, so there is some similarity. That similarity should not deceive anybody – because the person who has fallen below mind will be sad, tense, searching for the lost home, nervous, feeling unworthy. You have to look into the qualities and the feelings of the man.
The man who has gone beyond the mind will be feeling like a child, innocent, will be relishing existence and its beauty, will be creative. He cannot be destructive. He may paint, he may sculpt, he may sing, he may dance, but a man who is moving above mind is bound to pour a little more beauty into the world, a little more music, a little more poetry – that is his contribution.
Only your contribution proves where you are – whether you are mad or you have gone beyond mind to authentic sanity.
What is happening is perfectly beautiful. Just say yes – not a verbal yes but an existential yes, in which every fiber of your being is involved.
You are very close to the opening of a new world, of a new consciousness for you.
It is for this consciousness that you are here with me.

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