Osho came into my life in 1976 when I was 28 years old, at the end of the fourth seven-year cycle of life. I was living in Los Angeles at that time and was becoming tired of my life situation; tired of working in a boring, dead-end job in a record and tape warehouse, and tired too of the limited and not very satisfying distractions of alcohol, drugs, and the occasional sexual encounter. I knew that I was going nowhere, and while it was clear that there was no future in what I was doing, I had no idea there were any worthwhile alternatives.

I first heard about Bhagwan (as he was called in those days) when a friend and housemate brought home one of his books. When I would ask Rick what he thought about some particular problem, he would say: “Well, you know what Bhagwan says about that…” Rick had been reading his books, and what Bhagwan said was often fresh and new and rang true. His words made internal sense to me in a way nothing had before. I wanted more of it and started reading more books; I read all of Rick’s Bhagwan books and then began going to the Bodhi Tree bookstore in West Hollywood to keep myself supplied.

Then, one Sunday morning, a rather extraordinary thing occurred while reading Bhagwan’s book Yoga, the Alpha and the Omega Vol. IV. I had just finished a phrase that had impressed me quite strongly. Suddenly, something opened in the area of my forehead and what appeared to be bubbles (I could actually see them) flowed outward and upward from where the opening felt to be. It happened in an instant. It felt as though a door had been opened for the briefest of moments onto some higher realm. Just after that, I was filled with an entirely new and powerful energy that was so strong that I felt I had to put down the book and move outdoors. As I walked, I felt light and uplifted, colours seemed brighter. For some hours after, I felt a feeling of love and blissfulness surging through the area of my heart as I breathed. These exact words came to me: “You have lived your entire life up to now just to be HERE, just for THIS.”

I took a book to my friend Tom, whose opinion I respected, and he became as turned on as I was. We both felt we were hearing the Truth for the first time. Thus began the adventure of exploration into Osho, his teaching and his being that has changed my life.

Tom encouraged me, we encouraged each other, and we quickly became more involved. First it was by discussing the books, then going to the Rajneesh Meditation Centre in Culver City to do Dynamic Meditation. This was pivotal in the process of coming closer to the master; the next step of the process was to go to India to become a sannyasin, and I wanted to be initiated by the master. I really had to do it, and in retrospect, it was certainly the right thing for me.

I went to Poona in August 1978. India was shocking! Bombay in August was hot and wet and everywhere it was filthy, stinking, crowded, ugly and decaying. Everything was unsettling and nothing was comfortable. The ashram was different. It was clean and welcoming, and there were many foreigners there. What we all came to know as ‘the energy’ in the air was strong and intoxicating, and everyone who entered the ashram seemed to glow with an inner light that I had not observed anywhere before. It was new, exciting, and full of promise. I wanted to be part of it. I wanted to go to the lectures, do groups and be a sannyasin. I very much wanted to ‘get it’.

I took sannyas on 13 August 1978. There are really no words to convey this meeting, and no previous experience could prepare one for it. My darshan is recounted in the darshan diary Hallelujah!, but what has been recorded in print is only the superficial event and cannot convey what was such an extraordinary internal experience. The words that occur to me when trying to describe it are light, energy, and insight. I know that in those moments of initiation, Osho was able to see me in totality as well as all the significant events of my life in detail.

Wonderful things have subsequently occurred on my journey as a disciple of Osho, but the experiences of those few ‘close up’ times I had with Him are still clear and strong in my heart and remain the most precious moments of my life.

 

“Deva   means   divine,   Anupam   means uniqueness, divine uniqueness. Man is not created on an assembly line. Each individual is created in a unique way. There has never been a person like you and there will never be. If one can understand this gift of uniqueness great gratitude arises. It is such a tremendously vast world – infinite time behind; infinite time ahead – but never again will a person like you be repeated.

Once you see the beauty of it, great joy arises that you are worthy, that to condemn yourself is the worst kind of sin you can commit. But the priests have been telling people that they are worthless. It is not God’s voice; it must be the devil speaking through them. God’s declaration is very simple – it is written everywhere. You cannot find two pebbles alike. You cannot find two leaves on the same tree or in the whole world alike. Even twins are not exactly alike. God takes infinite care to make each one unique.

Never compare yourself with anybody, because all comparison is false; only similar people can be compared. You don’t compare a tree with a dog and you don’t compare gold with stones. Only gold can be compared with gold;  only  one  tree  can  be  compared  with another tree. But if you go deeper that too is

false, because each tree is unique; it cannot be compared with any other tree either.

This uniqueness is a gift. One who understands it falls into prayer without any effort. A great sense of dignity arises, and that dignity has no pride in it – that’s the beauty of it – because that dignity arises not because of comparison but because you are incomparable, neither superior nor inferior. You are just you! Nobody is ahead of you and nobody is behind you. You are standing alone. And once comparison disappears from the mind, all violence disappears automatically, all jealousy drops, and one feels free. Then nobody is your enemy.

If you are in competition with anybody – and comparison breeds competition, naturally, if you think that somebody is superior to you or somebody is inferior to you – you have started creating enmity. You will be afraid of the inferior because he must be trying to go ahead of you; he is just behind you honking his horn. And the person who is ahead of you, how can you be friendly towards him? It is because of him that you are  humiliated. You have to overtake him. This is what is happening in the whole world: everybody is at each other’s throat. It is a cut-throat, competitive world, but we have made it that way.

Jesus  says  ‘Love  your  enemy  as  you  love yourself.’ I say ‘There is no enemy at all.’ You are alone; there is no friend, no enemy. You are utterly alone. See the purity, the austerity and the pristine clarity of being alone. And out of that aloneness is all celebration, celebration of being! That is the meaning of your name. It can become a key, it can open the door of infinity to you….”

Osho, Hallelujah! Ch 13

From the book, Past the Point of No Return by Ma Anand Bhagawati