I Say Unto You Vol 1 06

Sixth Discourse from the series of 10 discourses - I Say Unto You Vol 1 by Osho.
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The first question:
I could not follow the relationship between the five minds you talked about and the sayings of Jesus. Will you please enlighten?
My God, so I have to go into it again? I was thinking I was finished with those five minds. But it is not a surprise; I was expecting something like that because I had not made it clear. I had only given you a few hints, and those too, very indirectly. If you had meditated over it you would have found the relationship, but you don’t want to work at all. You don’t want to do any homework. Let us try to go into it again.
The five minds were: first, the pre-mind – let us call it the primal; second, the collective mind – let us call it the social; third, the individual mind – the ego mind; fourth, the cosmic mind – the universal mind; and the fifth, the no-mind, christ-mind, buddha-mind – let us call it the transcendental.
The first thing to be understood is that Jesus’ sayings are addressed to the third mind, the individual, because they can be addressed only to the third mind. All the scriptures are addressed to the third mind, because only at the point of the third is understanding possible – difficult, but possible.
Up to the second mind, the social, you don’t have any understanding. You are imitative, you are just a member of a great mechanism called society. You don’t have any identity. You cannot be addressed, you cannot be provoked. Nobody exists in you. You are just an echo – an echo of the society, the church, the state, the country; an echo of many things, but just the echo. You are not yet real. How can you understand before that? That’s why a Jesus or a Buddha is born into a highly evolved society. They are not born into primitive societies.
Buddha was born in Bihar, not in Bastar. Bihar was the highest peak of the Indian mind in those days. Never again has the Indian consciousness touched that climax. Jesus was born at the pinnacle of Jewish consciousness – he is the fruit and the flower of the whole of Jewish history; he could not have been born anywhere else. For Jesus to exist a certain milieu is needed, certain people are needed who can understand him. Certain people are needed who can not only understand him, but can be transformed by him.
So the first thing is that the sutras of Jesus are addressed to the third mind, the individual mind, the ego mind. The ego has a certain function to fulfill; it is not just useless. It becomes a hindrance if you go higher than the third, but you cannot go higher than that if it is not there. It is a must, it is a necessary step; only the ego can understand the misery of being in an ego. The social mind cannot understand it; the problem has not yet arisen, so the solution is meaningless.
If you are suffering from a disease, then the medicine, the remedy becomes significant. If you are not suffering from a disease, the remedy is not a remedy for you. The social mind has not yet suffered from the ego. Hence anything that helps to go beyond the ego is utterly meaningless; it has no point of reference, it has no context. Jesus talks to the third mind, remember. If you are still in the second mind Jesus will remain an enigma to you. If you are just a Christian or a Jew or a Hindu then you will not be able to understand Jesus.
Just think, in those days the people who gathered around Jesus must have been very, very individualistic people. Otherwise how was it possible for them to listen to somebody who was so rebellious, who was so radical, who was turning the whole society upside down, who was continuously saying: “It has been told to you in the old days, but I say unto you…”? And was denying all that had been said, was continuously dismantling, destroying – of course, to create something new. But an ordinary Jew would not have been able to come into close quarters with Jesus. It would have been too much. Only a few individuals, rebellious people, must have gathered around him.
The social mind gave him crucifixion. The society, the formalist, the Pharisee, the rabbi, the moralist, the puritan, all gathered together to kill him, because he was bringing something of the individual consciousness, he was creating individuality in people. This is the first thing to understand in how the sutras are related to the five minds.
First: they are addressed to the third, and they can only be addressed to the third. The first, the primal, will not even be able to listen. The second, the social, can listen, but will not be able to understand. The third, the individual, can understand but will not be able to follow. But once understanding has arisen – intellectual understanding, at least – then the door opens. Only the fourth mind, the universal, can follow when ego has been dropped. When ego has been used and dropped, when the ego’s function is fulfilled – it’s no longer necessary, one has gone beyond it – the boat can be left behind.
So remember, the first cannot even listen; the second can listen, but cannot understand; the third can understand, but cannot follow. The fourth can follow, but only follow; the fifth can become the transcendental mind. This is how they are related.
The second thing to remember: Jesus says…
Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat:

Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.
Visualize the third mind; it is just in the middle, half-way. Two minds are below it, two minds are above it. The social mind is below it and the universal mind is above it. Both look alike. And these are the only two ways open for the individual mind to go, otherwise you will feel stuck.
In life, one has to continuously move. It is movement, it is a process. If you feel stuck you will become miserable; one has to go on and on till the goal is reached. Standing in the third mind, the individual ego faces two possibilities: either it can go up and become the universal mind, or it can fall back and can become the social mind.
Both look alike, that’s why Jesus says: Enter ye in at the strait gate… Both are gates and they look very alike. What is their similarity? The universal mind has dropped the ego, it is in tune with the whole. The social mind has not created the ego yet, it is in tune with the social. But both have a kind of attunement.
The social mind is at ease with the society, it flows rhythmically, smoothly. It has no struggle, conflict. It fits together; it is adjusted – adjusted with the society. But society is a big thing; it almost looks as if you are adjusted with existence. The social mind is very normal. That’s what psychoanalysts go on doing. Whenever somebody becomes too much of an individual, they say he is maladjusted. Then what do they do? They bring you to a gate – the social; they help you to adjust with society. They call that normal health. They call that psychological health. It reduces tensions, it reduces inconveniences; it makes you more comfortable and secure but at a great cost.
Religion also helps you to go beyond tensions, but not through the second door. Religion helps you to go through the third door. That is the difference between psychoanalysis and religion. Religion also makes you adjusted, but not with the society; it makes you adjusted with the whole, with the universe, with existence. That is real adjustment, and great joy arises out of it.
To be adjusted with society is a very tiny arrangement. You will be less tense but not more joyous, remember it. The fourth mind will give you joy, celebration; the second mind will simply help you to remain more calm and quiet and collected, but there will be no ecstasy.
Let ecstasy always be the criterion. Whenever you go high, ecstasy grows. If you go low, your ecstasy is diminished. But they look alike because both are adjustments. In one you drop being the individual, you become a sheep. You start imitating people, you become part of the mob. The mob itself may be wrong – that’s not the question – but you adjust to it. The mob may be neurotic, and in fact is so: mobs are more neurotic than individuals.
Friedrich Nietzsche has said – and rightly – that as far as individuals are concerned, neurosis is a rare accident. But as far as mobs are concerned, that is the rule not the exception. Mobs have always been neurotic. Adjust to the mob and you will feel good, because now you are part of the social neurosis, you don’t have a private neurosis. You will never feel it – everybody is just like you – things feel perfectly good. That’s why Jesus says the gates are alike: both are gates. But there is a great difference.
The difference is: Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate… If you go backward, the gate is wide: …and broad is the way… If you go upward …narrow is the way… very narrow. In fact, you have to go alone. You cannot take anybody with you. If you go to the fourth you will have to go alone. You will have to go in absolute aloneness. That’s why solitude, meditation, prayer, all have to be done in aloneness. You cannot get into the fourth with all your friends, family, acquaintances, etcetera. You will have to leave everybody behind, you will have to move on a very narrow path. It is so narrow that it cannot even contain two at once. You cannot even take your wife, your husband, your son, your mother – there is no way. You have to go alone. It is solitary. You can help others also to go to it, but they will go in their own solitariness. Remember, the higher you go, the more alone you are. The lower you go, the more you are with people.
It is like a pyramid. The lowest part of the pyramid has the biggest base: the base is the biggest. Then, as you go higher, the pyramid becomes smaller and smaller and smaller, and at the apex, it is just a point. You can visualize these minds in this way. The primal is the base of the pyramid; the social is very close to the base – a little smaller than the base. The individual is very close to the apex, to the peak – far away from the base; and the universal is just a point, the apex. When you have jumped beyond even that, the pyramid disappears. The fifth, the transcendental, it is not part of the pyramid at all.
The third mind is addressed by Jesus, and is told that these are the two possibilities. If you enter with the collectivity you will be destroying yourself; it will be destructive, it will not be creative. You will not be born out of it, it will be simple suicide. There will be no resurrection in it.
Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat… The majority follow this. That is why you don’t see flowering, you don’t see eyes full of splendor, you don’t see people in a dance, you don’t see hearts singing, you don’t see pulsating life energies, you don’t see streaming vitalities. You simply see dull, stale, stagnant, dirty pools – no more flow. And when the flow disappears, the glow also disappears. Then you are slowly, slowly dying and doing nothing. This is destruction.
If you follow the higher, the universal mind: …because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way… That “narrow” has to be remembered always. With the social you can be with the mob, with the individual you cannot be with the mob.
You can only be with a small group of people. You will always find whenever there are egoistic people that they will create small groups, their own societies, clubs, lodges. They will not move with the mass, they will have their own chosen few, select few; they will move with them. Authors will move with authors. Poets will move with poets. Painters will have their own clubs, their own restaurants where they will meet. They will have their own superior, small groups, and they will be very choosy about who is to be allowed in.
With the fourth, you are alone – not even a club of the chosen people; you are alone. With the fifth you are not even alone, even you have disappeared. This is how it goes. Slowly, slowly things go on disappearing. First the mass, then the small societies, groups, clubs; then you, and one day there is only emptiness in your hands. That emptiness is what Jesus calls the kingdom of God, and Buddha calls nirvana.
Third: Jesus talks about prayer. Prayer is the way – Jesus’ way – to be alone. Buddha’s way is meditation, Jesus’ way is prayer. But the intrinsic quality has to be the same. Jesus says, “Be silent, language is not needed.”
Language is helpful in the social. In the universal, language is not needed. Language is a social phenomenon. Animals don’t have language because they don’t have societies. Man has language because man has society; man is a social animal. When you start moving beyond society, language becomes irrelevant. Language is to relate with the other, and God is not the other, God is your innermost core. There is no need for any language.
So Jesus says:
And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, they have their reward.
Don’t pray for people to see that you are praying, that you are religious. Don’t pray as a show, don’t make it a performance. It is sacrilegious. Prayer should be in solitude, nobody should know about it. There is no need. It is nobody else’s concern.
But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet… What does he mean by closet? He means drop all language from your mind, all verbalization from your mind. The moment you drop verbalization from your mind, you have moved into such a private world that nobody else can go there. Language dropped, you have dropped the whole world. Just think of it. If for a moment there is no language inside you, then where are you? You are no longer here, no longer in this world. You are in a world totally different from this. When there is no language in you, you are utterly private. Language makes you public. “No language” makes you private.
This is what Jesus means when he says: But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet… – drop all language and verbalization. All communication has to be dropped. You just have to be there silent, present – but utterly non-verbal, not saying a single thing.
…and when thou hast shut thy door… When the door on the language, on the verbal, on the linguistic mind has been closed …pray to thy Father in secret. Then just be in deep gratefulness, gratitude. Then bow down to the unknown. Then surrender before the mysterious, just be in awe, in wonder. This is what prayerfulness is. This is the entry from the ego to the universal, from the third to the fourth.
Language is the medium to relate with others, and silence is the medium to relate with God – because God is not the other. Only in silence do you commune with your own inner being.
Logic is the way in the world, love is the way in God. Prayer is a loving silence – nothing else. If you ask me what prayer is, I will say a loving silence. Silence, but utterly full of love, overflowing with love. If silence is there and love is not there, then it is meditation. If silence is there, and suffused with love, fragrant with love, then it is prayer – that is the only difference. If you can shower your silence with love, it becomes prayer. If you cannot, then it remains meditation. Both lead there, so there is no problem of higher and lower: meditation is not higher, nor is prayer higher.
There are two types of people in the world: the man and the woman – the people of intelligence and the people of love. Jesus belongs to the second type; his path is the path of love. Buddha’s path is the path of intelligence. Buddha says: “Just be silent and you will jump from the third to the fourth.” Jesus says: “Be silent and full of love, and you will jump from the third to the fourth.” Both are bridges.
If it appeals to you, if you feel that it strikes in your heart – that the idea simply clicks in your being – then prayer is your way. But try both. If you are confused, try both. Whichever feels good is good, because each is as potent as the other.
All words belong to the social; silence belongs to the universal. And in the transcendental even silence disappears. First language disappears, then silence too. Then there is absolute silence – when silence has also disappeared. This is the meaning when Jesus says: Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. He surrenders in deep love, in silence.
And remember, these are not words to be repeated. Christians have misunderstood Jesus. These are not words to be repeated, these are the emotions to be lived. Not words to be repeated, but emotions to be lived.
Thy kingdom come… Now this can be just a word in you, you can repeat it; or this can be a feeling in you: Thy kingdom come… Not a single word is uttered inside but this is your feeling. Your hands are raised to receive the kingdom, you are surrendered, your heart is open. You are ready for godliness to descend in you.
Do you see the difference? Don’t repeat the words. Let it be a feeling and then it will go deeper, and then it will really become a prayer.
And the fourth thing about the transcendental:
Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you…

For every one that asketh receiveth, and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.
What does Jesus mean by saying: Ask, and it shall be given you…? He means that really it is already given to you. You have not been able to see it because you have not asked for it. The door is already open! But because you have not knocked at it, it has remained open and yet closed for you. Is it just for the sake of asking that you will get it? It is possible only if you have already got it, otherwise how can you get anything just by asking?
Try. You want to have a big palace – are you going to get it just by asking? You are not going to get it just by asking, otherwise all beggars would be emperors. You don’t have it, and you will have to work hard, and then too there is no certainty that you will have it. You may succeed, you may not succeed. There are a thousand and one competitors too. You will have to go through being aggressive, and you will have to put all that you have at stake. And then too, the possibility is greater that you will be a loser. You want money? – you cannot get it just by asking. You want prestige, power, respectability, fame? – you will not get it just by asking.
But Jesus says: “You can have God just for the asking.” What does he mean? It is an incredibly simple statement. He simply means what Buddha means when he says that you have it already there. You are not to achieve it; it is your intrinsic nature. This is Jesus’ way of saying the same thing: you can get only by asking because you are already there. The asking will make you alert, that’s all. If you ask consciously, if you knock consciously, if you start groping consciously, you will become alert to that which has already been there – that which has always been there, which has been the case from the very beginning. God is given to you. You are carrying God within you. But you have not asked. Your desire has not become conscious.
So God is there, you are there, but there is no bridge. By asking you will create the bridge. If the asking is immense, tremendous, total, then in a single instant the bridge will be projected. The kingdom of God is within you. That’s why: Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you… This is how these sutras are related with the five minds. But they are basically addressed to the third mind.
To those who seek identity, Norman Brown advocates: “Get lost!” and Timothy Leary says: “Drop out!” But I say to you that to get lost, one must have found oneself first, and to drop out one must have been in first. You can drop out if you are, you can get lost if the ego is ready and ripe. That is the difference between a sannyasin and a hippie.
A hippie is one who has been trying to drop something which he does not yet have, who is trying to drop something which he has not yet earned, who is trying to renounce something which is not there. A sannyasin is one who has come to feel the ripe ego and, feeling the misery and anguish of it, drops it. They look alike. They look alike, but the hippie is not going from the third to the fourth. The hippie has not been in the third yet, he will fall to the second. That’s why hippies start creating their own clan, their own tribe, their own society. It has almost the same structure as the old society that they have left.
If in the old society you cannot have long hair, in a hippie society you cannot have short hair. The structure is the same. If in the old society you cannot go on without taking a bath for months, in the hippie society you are not allowed to take a bath every day. That is too conventional. You will look a little anti-social if you take a bath every day. But it is the same society repeated, the same structure. Even though it is against, it is the same structure. The hippie is not going beyond society; he is going against one society and creating another.
The sannyasin is going beyond society. He is moving away from the very need to be part of a society.
The sutras are addressed to the egoist. But remember, the egoist can understand them, but cannot follow. To follow them you will have to start dropping your ego. Then you can follow, then the universal mind will arise in you.
Prayer or meditation is the way. And when the universal has arrived, don’t stop there. One more step… This very consciousness that you have arrived, this very consciousness that you have realized God, this very consciousness that you have become one with God has to be drowned too. This is the last barrier to be dropped. Once it has gone, you and the whole are one – so much one, that there is nobody even to say, “I am one with the whole.” That is the transcendental. That’s what Jesus calls the kingdom of God.

The second question:
Where is the meeting between Christ's love and Buddha's intelligence?
In me!

The third question:
Do you teach then that one should not plan for the future at all?
Psychologically one should not plan for the future at all, but that does not mean that practically you should not plan. The difference is great, and has to be understood.
If you are going to travel, if you are going to the Himalayas, you will have to go to the railway station and book your ticket a few days ahead. That’s simply practical. You cannot say, “When the idea arises to go to the Himalayas I will simply go.” It will be difficult: you may not get a ticket on the train or on the plane. Don’t be foolish. But psychologically, yes, don’t plan for the future.
What is the meaning of “psychologically”? You are here, and in your mind’s eye you start trekking in the Himalayas, and you start enjoying – just in fantasy. You are already there where you are not. This is psychological. This has to be dropped. But practical things are perfectly okay.
Don’t live psychologically in the past or in the future. But practically, sometimes you will have to remember past things. You will have to remember your name, and you will have to remember your wife. You cannot come home every day and ask, “Who are you? Let us introduce ourselves.” You will have to remember the past for practical purposes. But don’t live there; the past has gone. The memory is there, use it whenever it is needed, but don’t start living in those memories. Don’t waste time, because if you live in your memories who is going to live in the present? Then the present is wasted. And living in the memory is just a dream, it is not real life; it is pseudo, it is false.
And don’t live in the future. People live in the future: they are always planning to go to Kashmir or to Switzerland. And they are living there already! They dream, they think, they fantasize what they are going to do there, how they will enjoy the life there. And remember, when they reach Switzerland they will not be there because by that time they will start planning how to come back home. And the business, and the family, and everything…
They are never where they are; they go on missing. They are always rushing and never arriving. Don’t live in the future, don’t live in the past. But that doesn’t mean don’t think of practical things.

A man was on a holiday in Ireland. One day he was driving along a little-used road when he came across a pretty young girl trying to hitch a lift. So he offered her a lift.
After a few minutes he asked if he could hold her hand.
“To be sure,” came the reply.
A little further on, he asked if he could kiss her.
“To be sure,” she replied.
A few miles later, they passed through a village. The girl asked him to stop at the chemist’s shop.
“Why?” asked the man.
“To be sure,” replied the girl.

This much practicality is allowed. More than that is not needed.

The fourth question:
You said that sometimes it is dangerous to push. And you are pushing me very hard. Well, I guess you know what you are doing, but what are you doing?
That is none of your business.

The fifth question:
Why do I cry whenever something real happens in meditation? Sometimes, even during lecture, when you say something that strikes me as my own truth, tears come to my eyes and I tremble with silent sobs. What is the connection between truth and tears?
The question is from Michael Gottlieb.
First, it may be that only tears are true in you, everything else has become false. Your smile, your face, your gestures, your words may all have become false. It may be that only your tears are still true. That’s why whenever you hear something of truth, they start surfacing. They are in tune with truth. And this is not only so with you, it is so with many people.
Tears have not been corrupted too much, particularly in men. About women it is not so true. Their tears may he just a facade, their tears may be their diplomacies, their tears may be their tricks, strategies. But about men… Men have not been allowed tears at all. People have been told from their very childhood that if you are a man, tears are not available for you. You should never cry. So tears have remained there, uncorrupted by the society, unpolluted by the society – at least it is so with men. So whenever you hear something of truth – something that simply becomes a song in your heart, something that simply penetrates like a ray of light into your darkness – tears come, because the true calls forth the true in you.
Michael Gottlieb’s name is beautiful: Gottlieb means God-love. Maybe there is a great desire for God, a great love for God which is getting ready every day, which is going to possess you. Allow those tears, because there is a danger you may be repressing them.
Gottlieb is a psychologist – that is the danger. You may start rationalizing, you may start finding explanations. You may stop those tears which are innocent – as innocent as dewdrops – which are uncorrupted by your mind; they come from the beyond. Those tears are coming from your heart. Don’t start explaining them. Psychologists have become very clever at explaining away everything. Live with the mystery of the tears. When they come, allow them. Go into those sobs, those sobs are the beginning of prayer in you. Flow in those tears, totally unashamed. Don’t feel embarrassed. Go wholeheartedly into them, and through them you will be cleansed and purified. Those tears will become your very alchemy. Their very touch will turn you into gold.
I have been watching Gottlieb. He has been here for only a few days, and deep down he is afraid of sannyas. First he was only going to stay for ten days, then he extended it for a few days. Now he has extended a little longer, and by and by he is getting trapped. Now the tears have started to come. Now it is dangerous, Gottlieb.
But still you are not allowing the tears a total flow. Be swayed by them. Let that throb go to your very cells and the fibers of your being. Let those tears dance in and around you, and through those tears you will be initiated. Through those tears you are coming close to me and I am coming close to you. If you allow it, something is going to happen, something immensely valuable. But it depends on you whether you allow it or whether you escape before it becomes too much.
To be here needs courage. To be with me means risk. If you decide to be with me, you are risking finding yourself. The risk is there. And to find oneself, one has to die to one’s whole past, because the new can come only when the old has disappeared. Let those tears take away your past, let them wash you. They are preparing you for me. And you have a heart which can grow in prayer, but only if you allow. Nothing can be done against you. And up to now you have been fighting, you have been protecting, safeguarding yourself. You are keeping a little bit aloof, distant. You are doing it at your own risk. You may miss the opportunity.

The sixth question:
In today's lecture you said there are three stages – sex, love and prayer. But if one keeps on changing partners how can one go into depth? How can one reach the highest stage at all?
The question is from Mukta.
This question arises in many people, and because she is an Indian it has more relevance to her conditioning. People think that if you are in love with one person, only then can love go deep. That is utter nonsense!
The depth of love has nothing to do with one person or two persons. The depth of love has certainly something to do with your remaining always in love – that brings depth. Now, for example, you love a man or a woman. For a few days things are really fantastic. Things are going beautifully. And then, naturally, things start becoming dull. There is nothing wrong in it, it is just the very course of nature. You become acquainted with the woman, her ways; she becomes acquainted with you, your ways, your lifestyle, and when everything is known, interest starts dimming. When everything is known and there is nothing surprising any longer, how can the relationship remain fantastic? The wonder starts disappearing, things settle, become mundane, day-to-day, ordinary. This is what ordinarily happens.
Now, you can go on living with the man or with the woman with the idea that if you change the man or the woman, love will never go deep. But the love is not going deeply at all; the love is becoming shallower every day. Sooner or later, you will start taking the other for granted. There will be no joy in the other’s presence, you will not be thrilled by the other’s presence. You can go on clinging…
Mukta has asked this question because she was trying to cling to a certain sannyasin, trying hard to cling. And because she tried hard, the sannyasin escaped. My people are very intelligent! If you cling too hard, then nobody is going to be with you, because nobody wants an imprisonment, nobody wants you to become a fetter. The more you cling, the more the relationship becomes ugly. First it loses joy, loses all charm, loses all magnetism, and then it starts becoming ill, pathological.
I call a relationship pathological when you are clinging only for clinging’s sake, there is nothing else to cling for. You are simply clinging because you are afraid to lose, afraid to change, afraid to move in a new relationship. Because who knows how the new is going to turn out, where it will lead? The new is dangerous because the new is not yet familiar. The old is familiar, settled, there is certain security, comfort, convenience. When you start clinging for clinging’s sake, then it is pathological, it is ugly; it is not going to bring any depth to your relationship. All depth will disappear. You can go and see millions of husbands and wives… What depth, what intimacy is there?
Now I am not saying that if you are with a certain person – with a man or a woman, and things are still growing – to change. I am not saying that. Don’t misunderstand me. There are a few people who are so sensitive that they can go on finding something new in the other every day. There are people who are so aesthetic that they never feel that things are ever finished. Their sensitivity, their intensity, their passion goes on bringing new depths. Then it is perfectly good.
My criterion is if a relationship is growing toward depth it is perfectly good. Go on! Exhaust it if you can. But if it is not growing, if it is not deepening, if the intimacy is not flowering anymore; all has stopped, and you are simply stuck because you don’t know how to leave and how to say good-bye, then you are destroying your capacity for love. It is better to move, change the partner, than to destroy love – because love is the goal, not the partner. You love a person not for the person’s sake; you love the person for love’s sake.
Love is the goal, so if it is not happening with this person, let it happen with somebody else, but let it happen! Allow it continuity. That continuity, that flow of love constantly happening, will take you deeper into it, will bring depth, will bring new dimensions, will bring new realizations.
So remember, if it is going well with one person… And by well, I don’t mean what is ordinarily meant when somebody says that they are a good couple or very nice. I don’t mean that; those words just hide facts. A “nice family” means no conflict, no problem, things are going smoothly, the wheels of the mechanism are moving smoothly, that’s all. But a really beautiful relationship is not just nice; it is far out! Never settle for less. Only a far-out relationship can bring depth. If it is not happening, be courageous enough to say good-bye – with no complaint, with no grudge, with no anger. What can you do? If it is not happening, it is not happening.
You cannot make the other feel guilty. What can he do? Whatsoever he can do he is doing, whatsoever you can do you are doing. But if somehow it is not happening, you are not fitting with each other, you are not meant for each other, don’t go on forcing it. It is like putting a square plug in a round hole. Go on – it won’t happen. And if you succeed, there is every possibility that you may have destroyed the plug completely. Then it will not be of any worth.
But mind functions through conditionings. Now, Mukta’s mind is basically Indian. The Indian conditioning is very long. For thousands of years in India it has been thought that you should be true to one person. I am teaching you a totally different thing. I am teaching you to be true to love, not to persons. Be true to love. Never betray love, that’s all. If sometimes persons have to be changed, they have to be changed, but never betray love. The old Indian tradition is: betray love but never betray the person, go on clinging to one person. And when things have been there for thousands of years, they become part of your blood and bones, part of your marrow, and you start functioning unconsciously.
Become a little more conscious. Meditate over this anecdote:

The day for the execution arrived and the three prisoners – a Frenchman, an Englishman and a German – were led out of their cells to the guillotine. The Frenchman was the first to be led up the steps and was asked if he preferred to face upward or downward on the guillotine block.
He replied: “I have led a full and good life enjoying all the delights of good wine from the finest French vineyards, excellent cheeses, the best cuisine and the wonderful charms of the loveliest mademoiselles of France. I have nothing more to wish for and nothing to fear. Therefore, I will face upward.”
He was then positioned on his back looking up so he could watch the blade as it descended. The blade was released and it began falling with full speed until it was only half an inch from his neck, at which point the blade suddenly stopped.
Unable to explain this, the authorities who were standing by interpreted it as a sign from God, and proceeded to release the prisoner to become a free man.
The Englishman was next to be led to the guillotine and was asked the same question. He replied: “I have served my Queen loyally throughout the empire. In the true tradition of the refined Englishman, I have helped to spread our great English civilization around the world and I have never flinched at danger. Therefore, I am ready to face death and will face upward.”
He was positioned on his back and the blade was released and began falling. Again, at the last instant, the blade came to an abrupt stop just half an inch above his throat. This was again interpreted as a sign from God, so the man was freed.
Next the German was led to the guillotine and as he was being asked the same question, he immediately interrupted and said: “Before I answer your question, I want you to know that I refuse to be under that machine until you get it fixed!”

A German is a German. His conditioning is there: the machine should be fixed first!
And that’s how the Indian mind also functions. Down the ages you have been taught to remain true to persons, which is not a very high value. The higher value is to remain true to love. If it is happening with one person, perfectly good, I am not saying to change – what is the point of changing? If it is not happening with this person, then let it happen somewhere else.
But let it happen because if you miss love, you will miss all that is beautiful in life. If you miss love, you will miss the possibility of prayer too because only love, when it becomes deep, brings you closer to prayer.

The seventh question:
I do not believe in anything, but I do believe in God. Why are you so much against beliefs?
Because a belief is a belief, and is not an experience. Belief is a barrier. If you believe in God you will never know God. That’s why I am against belief – because I am for God. Your very belief will never allow you to know that which is, because the belief means that before knowing it you have decided already what it is. Your decisive mind will not relax. Your mind with a conclusion is a prejudiced mind, and to know God an empty mind is needed: unprejudiced, pure, uncontaminated by any belief, by any ideology. I am against all beliefs because I am for God.
And you say: “I do not believe in anything…” But if you believe in God, then what more is needed? That is enough. You have made the greatest mistake! Now every other mistake is very small. And if the great mistake has been done, then other mistakes will follow in its wake. If you can believe in God without knowing God – without understanding what it means, without ever experiencing even a little bit of it, without ever seeing a single ray of light; if you can believe in God, if you can be so deceptive, if you can be so cunning – then you can believe in anything. And what else is needed? You think this belief is not a big mistake? It is the biggest mistake.

A husband walked into his house unexpectedly one evening, and noticed some men’s clothing at the foot of the bed. He asked his wife, who was in the bed at the time, where the clothes came from. His wife told him that the clothes belonged to him, and she was taking them to the cleaner’s. Going to the closet to hang up his coat, he eyed a man bare as the day he came into the world.
The husband: “What are you doing here?”
The man: “Did you believe what your wife told you?”
The husband: “Yes!”
The man: “Well, I’m waiting for a bus.”

If you can believe that, then you can believe anything. The naked man standing in the closet, waiting for the bus…
If you can believe in God, then you can believe in Adolf Hitler, in Josef Stalin, in Mao Zedong, then you can believe in any nonsense because you have accepted the basic nonsense. Never believe in God. God has to be known, not to be believed. God has to be lived, not to be believed. God has to be experienced, not to be believed.
And why do you believe in God? If you have not known, then it must be out of fear, then there can be no other reason. Remember, God can be known only out of love, and beliefs come out of fear. And love and fear never meet; they never cross each other’s path. Love knows no fear. Fear knows no love. If you are afraid of somebody you cannot love that person. That’s why it is very difficult for children to love their parents because parents make them afraid. It is very difficult for husbands to love their wives because their wives make them afraid. It is very difficult for wives to love their husbands because their husbands make them afraid.
Wherever fear comes, fear comes from this door, and love escapes from the other. They never live together, they can’t live together. Have you not observed? When you love a person all fear disappears. In that very love there is no fear.
God has to be known through love. And belief is based in fear. Belief stinks!

A salesman couldn’t make the lady understand the power brakes on the car he was selling her, so he took her for a ride. When he was almost five hundred feet from a brick building, he speeded up and at the last minute he hit the brake.
Lady: “What is that smell?”
Salesman: “Rubber burning, madam.”
She brought the car home to show her husband and took him for a ride. Coming to the same brick wall she slammed on the brakes, missing it by about three inches. Looking at her husband, she said, “Do you smell that, honey?”
Husband: “I should. I’m sitting in it.”

All beliefs stink. Drop beliefs! Have the courage to know.
God is an invitation for the ultimate journey. Let God be a quest, not a belief. Let it be a question mark on your heart, at the deepest core of your being. Let the question trouble you, let the question become a turmoil. Let the question create a chaos in you because only through chaos are stars born. Only when the quest has destroyed all your belief systems, and you are freed of all conclusions given by others, will you be able to open your eyes to the naked truth. And it is facing you. It is always facing you. It is just in front of your nose, but there is a Great Wall of China of beliefs, and you cannot see that which surrounds you from everywhere.

The last question:
I and my wife both love you, but we often quarrel about you and your thoughts because we cannot agree in our interpretation of your ideas. What should we do?
There is no need to agree. And how can you agree? When you listen to me, you listen through your preoccupation. When your wife listens, she listens through her preoccupation. When you listen, you listen through your own beliefs, ideas, conditioning. When she listens, she has her own mind. Interpretations are going to be different.
Just because you are both listening to me does not mean that you will agree. You will interpret, you will give colors, you will give turns to ideas according to your mind. See the fact that with the mind there can be no agreement. There is no need to argue. Rather, try to do what I am saying. Don’t waste your time. I am not here to make you more argumentative. I am not here to make you more logical. I am not here to make you more capable of discussing, analyzing, interpreting things. I am here to help you to see. And seeing comes when you are without the mind.
Now this simple fact that you go on quarreling with your wife… And you both love me; it should become a great experience. You are here with a thousand people. I am saying the same thing to you all, but there are going to be a thousand interpretations. You can’t agree with the other. The other has looked from a totally different angle because the other is hooked from a totally different angle. That is the only way he or she can see it. And this is so if you are not related with the person. If you are related with the person, then there are more difficulties – particularly in the relationship of a wife and husband. Their quarrel is eternal. It does not matter about what, but they quarrel. There seems to be only one agreement: to disagree. That is their only agreement; about that they have agreed. That they will disagree is a tacit agreement in every marriage.

Mulla Nasruddin goes on fighting with his wife and the wife goes on arguing. One day I told Mulla: “You have been arguing for thirty years, and there seems to be no possible solution. Why don’t you drop it?”
He said, “How to drop it?”
I said: “Simply agree with your wife! Next time it happens, simply agree and see what happens.”
He said, “Okay.”
So next time it happened, first, in the heat of it, he forgot. He argued for half an hour. And then he suddenly remembered, so he went out in the garden to cool down. Then he cooled himself, collected himself, decided that he would agree.
He went in and he said to his wife, “Okay, you are right. I agree with you.”
His wife looked at him with great surprise, and said, “What? But I have changed my mind!”

And the argument starts again. They have changed sides, but the argument is the same. When you are related with somebody, relationship brings many complexities. There is a constant struggle to dominate. It is not really argument that you are interested in or your wife is interested in; it is really a question of who dominates whom. Each point becomes a power struggle: who dominates whom? See it, and don’t waste your time.
You ask me, “What should we do?” Let her have her opinions, you have your opinions. Rather than wasting time in opinions, start doing something according to your mind and let her do something according to her mind. But do something.
If I say meditate – whatsoever you understand by it – start doing something. In the beginning it is always a groping in the dark. But by and by, the gropers reach.
Jesus says:
Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you…
Start groping, and don’t be worried that you may commit some error or some mistake. Errors have to be committed, mistakes are going to happen. Nobody can reach directly; everybody has to stumble. Many times one goes astray, but if one goes on working sincerely, authentically, then sooner or later the door opens.
Open your door, let her open her door. Don’t make me an excuse for your power struggle. And remember, always have compassion on other people. They have their minds, they are hooked there just as you are hooked in your own mind. See! If you cannot see without your mind, how can you expect the other to see it? Watch life, and sooner or later you will see an insight arising in you. In that very insight you will become capable of understanding the other’s standpoint. I am not saying that you have to agree with the other, but you can understand. There is no need to agree, but you can see why the other is looking at this point in this way, and you can have compassion for the other.
If you have compassion, you will be surprised – the other has started feeling compassion for you. If you argue, the other argues. Argument creates argument. It goes on becoming bitter and bitterer; it poisons relationship. If you can understand the other’s standpoint you will find the other is also more compassionate toward your standpoint. And people have their own standpoints because people are not enlightened.
Standpoints are bound to be there up to the third mind, the individual mind. With the fourth mind there is no argument; compassion arises. One can see the other – where the other is hooked – and feel sorry for the other because it is an imprisonment. Only with the fourth comes understanding, compassion. And with the fifth, one forgets about others or about oneself; then there is no division.
Listen to a few anecdotes. First:

A housewife complains to the psychologist, “Something is wrong with my husband. At night when he comes back from work, he always first kisses our dog and then me.”
The psychologist thinks about it for a while, then he suggests thoughtfully, “Would you mind bringing a photograph of your dog the next time you come?”

You would not expect it, but this too is a possibility. There are millions of possibilities as to what the response is going to be. Now this psychologist must have been a very logical person – hooked on logic. If the husband kisses the dog first, then the dog must be more beautiful than the wife, so bring a photograph. That is his standpoint. And everybody is closed in his own world.

Two Frenchmen are standing on the platform from where the train is pulling out of Paris. One of them waves to a friend at the station, and calls, “Thanks loads! Had a marvelous time! Your wife was a wonderful lay!” Then he turns to the man standing next to him and says, “It’s not true, she’s no good at all. I just wanted the husband to feel good.”

There are different visions. Now, whether the husband is going to feel good or bad… But this man has simply appreciated – maybe in France it is possible!

In a certain Western city where drivers too often have a way of using only one hand on the steering wheel, devoting the other to the inevitable girl at the side, an ordinance was recently passed requiring two hands on the wheel of a moving car. As a result of this law, a member of the police force stopped an approaching Ford coupe and severely reprimanded the spooning couple in this manner: “Young man, do you know the laws of this city? Why not use both hands?”
The derelict at the wheel frankly retorted, “Why, I have to use one hand to drive with!”

Different visions, different understanding…
The last:

Olga was returning to Czechoslovakia after working for a year in Britain. On the plane she began to writhe and moan, clutching her belly at the same time. The stewardess was quickly at her side to find out what was the matter. “Have you had a check-up recently?” she asked Olga.
“No, no” wailed Olga, “it wasn’t a Czech, it was a Scotsman.”

Enough for today.

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