Come Follow Yourself Vol 03 10

Tenth Discourse from the series of 10 discourses - Come Follow Yourself Vol 03 by Osho.
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The first question:
Will you please explain to me the Lord's Prayer, as given by Jesus?
Meditation can be explained, prayer never. It can be understood, but it cannot be explained. Prayer is something of the heart, very elusive, very indefinable. You can feel it, but you cannot think it. That is part of its nature; it is like love, it is not a technique.
Meditation is a technique. Prayer is not a technique. Meditation you can do. Prayer you cannot do; you can only be prayerful. It has nothing to do with words. What you say in prayer is meaningless. How you say it, the space from where it arises, is meaningful – not the words.
Prayer is a gratitude, a deep thankfulness toward the whole that you are here, that you are glad to be. It is against complaint. When you complain, you say you are miserable to be; when you pray, whether you say it or not, you mean that you are glad to be, you are thankful that you are. And Jesus’ prayer is tremendously beautiful. No other prayer is so beautiful. Vedas have prayers, but they come from very sophisticated minds, and whenever a prayer comes from a sophisticated mind, it loses much. It becomes very refined, meaningful – and that’s why it loses all meaning.
Jesus’ prayer is almost childish; that’s the beauty of it, the glory of it. If you want to understand Gayatri, the prayer in the Vedas, much can be said about it. It is a very condensed understanding; it is like a scientific formula, it is like Einstein’s formula E=MC². Much can be said about it, thousands upon thousands of pages can be written about it.
Jesus’ prayer is not a scientific formula, it is just an outpouring of a simple heart, a child talking to his father – simple, very simple, it cannot be simpler than that. So, if you talk to Hindus, they will say, “What type of prayer is this?” If you talk to Buddhists, they will laugh because they have very refined prayers – very cultured, sophisticated, philosophical, speculative, saying much in them.
Jesus’ prayer does not say anything; it is simply an outpouring of the heart as a lover talks to his beloved, or a child talks to his father. Let me repeat. Please don’t ask for explanations; do it, and you will understand it.
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory,
for ever and ever.

The second question:
If I can truly experience the music of a flute player, can that be on the same level as the experience you wish to occur with you? I am thinking of the Sufis: I see, but I do not see. I am behind a glass wall.
The object is irrelevant. Only the subjectivity is relevant. Whether listening to me, or listening to a flute player, or listening to the birds in the morning, or sitting by the side of the waterfall and listening to it, the same experience can happen. It happens not from what you listen to, it happens because you listen. Just listening gives you total silence; in deep listening you disappear. The whole art is how to listen.
Once you know how to listen in deep receptivity, sensitivity, you are not there. The listener is not there, only listening. And when the listener is not there, there is no ego. There is no one who listens, only listening, and then it penetrates to the very core of your being.
If you listen to me with the mind, you will miss. If you listen to a waterfall without the mind, you will get. It is not a question of listening to me, it is a question somewhere concerned with you, with the listener. What I am saying is irrelevant, who is saying it is irrelevant. The whole thing is: are you surrounded by a deep silence? Have you become nonexistent in that moment? Do you find suddenly that you are not, that you are a deep emptiness, throbbing with life, full, but empty – a tremendous silence, with not a single ripple of thought? Only then do you attain a plane where truth can penetrate you.
So try to be a listener. Just hearing is not enough. Hear, you can; listening will need great discipline. It is the greatest discipline there is. If you listen, you are already delivered because in that listening, suddenly you find yourself.
This looks like a paradox. You disappear I say, and in that disappearance you find yourself. You are empty, and in that emptiness arises a fullness, a fulfillment. No thought is there, and then there is understanding. And love flows like breathing – it goes in, it goes out, it goes in, it goes out. Then you start sharing your being with the existence that surrounds you. Then the part is no longer part and separate; it throbs with the whole. You fall in line with the whole, you are no longer out of step. A harmony has arisen – the celestial music, the music of the stars.
Then suddenly you are open. From every dimension existence flows into you. But the whole thing is how to be so receptive and silent. Just now it can happen, just now it is happening to many. I am not here; you are not there: and suddenly the meeting, suddenly the being.
What can you do? Because all doing will be a disturbance. Whatever you do will bring you in from the back door, whatever you do will be an effort and a disturbance. Don’t do anything; just be.
The whole art of religion is nothing but this: just be, allow, be in a let-go. Sitting by the side of the tree, just sit – nothing else is needed, just sitting. Buddha attained truth just by sitting under the bodhi tree. Walking, just walk. Loving, just love. Being, just be. By and by you start feeling that within you the fragments are disappearing, and an integration is arising. By and by it happens, by and by you start feeling that something is penetrating you from the unknown, from the beyond. You feel happy. You feel like a pregnant woman: the unknown has entered you. You don’t know who has come to your womb, you have not seen the face yet, but you can feel the weight, you can feel the unknown kicking in your womb. You know the unknown has penetrated you.
Then you walk more carefully, you sit more carefully, because you have to protect. The unknown has become your guest. You have to think and care about him because the unknown is growing every day. The child grows and the mother disappears. One day only the child is, and the mother is gone. The mother means the past, and the child means the present. The mother means you as you are, and the child means you as you should be.
Nothing can be done specifically. You have just to create a climate around you of waiting, contentment, acceptance, delight, silence. Start as if you have attained already.
Listen to me again: start already walking as if you have attained. It will be “as if” only in the beginning; by and by, the “as if” disappears. Walk like a Buddha, look like a Christ, delight like a Krishna. In the beginning it is going to be just “as if.” But that “as if” is not going to stay long because you are really that which you are trying to act.
The whole thing is as if you go to Jesus not knowing that he is Jesus, and he also does not know that he is Jesus, and you tell him that you are going to stage a drama. “You look like Jesus. Would you please come and act as Jesus in it?” He agrees, and he comes to act. Of course it is “as if” in the beginning because he does not know that he is Jesus. You don’t know that he is Jesus; he only looks like, appears to be. And then he starts playing in the drama and, by and by, the “as if” disappears because he is. By and by the reality takes possession, and suddenly it erupts and he is no longer acting. He is simply being himself.
This is the case with you. You look like God. I tell you, act like God. And sooner or later you will discover that just by acting, you have discovered the reality because in reality you are already that – only you have forgotten it. So if you start acting, the forgotten-ness will disappear. You will start remembering.
So when you sit under a tree, sit like a Buddha. And don’t be afraid, and don’t be shy. Who is hindering you? And if you can sit like a Buddha, then why settle for less? When you play a flute, forget about yourself, play it like a Krishna. And I say to you, you are Krishna, and the flute is the same. You just have to remember, and once you remember, immediately you will see the transformation. Now the song is not coming from you, it is coming from the beyond; you are no longer in the way.
I have heard about Michelangelo. He used to use a device while working on his art pieces. Sometimes it would get dark, evening would come and he would have to use candles. He would put the candles in a cup because if you don’t put candles in a cup, then your own shadow falls between you and your work and it creates a disturbance. So he would put the candles in a cup. Then the cup would protect, then his own shadow would not come between himself and his work, and he would not be disturbed.
This is what is happening to you. Your own shadow is coming between you and your reality. The day you realize that it is only a shadow, then there is no problem.
One of the greatest thinkers of the West, Jean Paul Sartre, has a certain theory. It may not be absolutely true, it is not, but it moves in the right direction. Even for wrong reasons he moves in the right direction. He says that there are two types of philosophies in the world: one, the philosophy of being; and another, the philosophy of doing. He himself thinks that he belongs to the second, the philosophy of doing, because he says, “Being in itself is nothing.” Unless you do something, how can you be? When you paint, you become a painter; when you sing, you become a singer; when you dance, you become a dancer. If you don’t do anything, who are you? All identity is lost; you become empty, you are no longer there. So he says do something because only by doing will you be something.
Buddha belongs to the first philosophy. He says, just be. Realize without doing who you are. Buddha is perfectly right, but Sartre is not perfectly wrong. And I can feel that what Sartre is saying can lead to what Buddha is saying. It can become a technique.
Act like a Jesus, and suddenly your being is revealed. That being can be known without action also, but then it is more difficult, almost impossible because you don’t know where to look for a mirror. Without a mirror you cannot see your face. The face is there, you know it is there, but you cannot see without a mirror. The doing can become a mirror, and in the mirror the being can be revealed. Once it is revealed, you can forget about the mirror, you can throw the mirror away – there is no need for it.
Walk like a Jesus, sit like a Buddha, play on the flute like a Krishna, and by and by you will come to realize that it was not just acting. You have stumbled upon something real. Your own shadow is no longer falling – the clarity is attained.
When listening to me, sit like a Buddha, silent, receptive, feminine. That’s why Buddha looks so feminine. Have you seen? – no mustache, no beard, and the face of a woman. The meaning is, when you sit silently, your feminine part comes up, surfaces. When you act, your male part comes up, the feminine recedes. When you do something, your male part comes up. When you are in a non-doing, your feminine comes up.
Buddha attained God through the feminine – in fact there is no other way to attain. The ultimate has to be attained only when you become a womb, a receptivity.
Then it makes no difference – just sit and listen to the breeze passing through the pines, and you will find me there; or listen to me with no thought in the mind, and you will find the breeze passing through the pines. It is one and the same. But the whole depends on your listening. The quality of your listening is the question, not what you listen to.

The third question:
I feel very identified with my mother. I tend to judge her as harshly as I judge myself, and blame her for my negativity. Can you talk about the nature of the mother–daughter relationship?
This is a new disease created by the psychoanalysts in the West. In a way it is very old and ancient, a very old trick of the mind. But the garb that psychoanalysis has given it is very modern.
The human mind always tends to throw the responsibility on somebody else. Then you are freed of it. In the old days people used to throw the responsibility on God, fate, kismet – a thousand and one words they had found. Then they were no longer responsible, then they were unburdened.
But this unburdening is very dangerous. Once you feel that you are not responsible, then all doors for transformation are closed because to feel responsible is the very basic requirement for transformation. If I am not responsible for what I am, how can I be responsible for any transformation? If it happens, it happens; if it doesn’t happen, it doesn’t happen. And if God is responsible, then he is responsible also for my change, or no change. Then you start feeling that you are just a puppet, and then you go on dragging yourself in the mud. Then your whole life becomes driftwood.
Don’t think that this is a let-go. Let-go is a very alive thing. This is dead wood, driftwood – it is not alive at all. A fatalist is not alive at all because he has thrown away all responsibility. In throwing away responsibility, he has also thrown away his soul; he is no longer a soul. The more responsible you feel, the more authentic is the soul you have. Responsibility is your soul.
But those were old days; now we have forgotten about them. Then came Marx. Following Hegel, he created the same old pattern again. He called it historic necessity – history is responsible, not you; economics is responsible, not you; social structure is responsible, not you. The old fatalism, just garbed in new words.
Then came Freud, and he said if a child is not loved by the mother, when he is grown up he will not be able to love. The mother is responsible. If the mother was negative, then the child will be negative – the mother is responsible. Freud was a Jew and must have suffered from a Jewish mother, so the whole thing is thrown onto the mother. Now the mother becomes the God, fate, and the whole thing seems to be absurd because if you ask who has made the mother this way, then her mother is responsible. Then go on and on. Finally you have to fall back on God. That’s why I say the logic is the same. God is the mother of the whole, the original source from where everything comes.
You are destroyed by your mother, she is destroyed by her mother, her mother is destroyed by hers, and so on and on and on. Finally you will have to fall back on God. This is the old trick, the old argument, just put in modern language. But the whole trick is to throw responsibility. Psychoanalysis has stopped Western consciousness from growth. Psychoanalysis has not been a treatment, it is the illness. And the sooner the West gets rid of psychoanalysis the better, because once you think that you are not responsible, you start living a life of irresponsibility. And nobody can say that you have to change. How can you change?
This question is from Nisha. I know her: she is negative. She is a miser. Her whole consciousness is constipated, closed – but a beautiful possibility, hidden. The bud has not opened, but once it opens there is going to be a beautiful flower in the world.
Now the problem is, if she feels herself responsible, then she has to do something immediately. If the mother is responsible, then what can she do? – unless the mother changes, which is not possible. That means unless the past changes, the present cannot change. But how can you change the past? It has already happened, it cannot be undone; there is no way. Then you accept the closed state of your consciousness and you feel helpless.
The whole point of your being here with me is that you can do something. So try to understand my standpoint. Man’s consciousness is absolute freedom. If you are negative, you have to continuously take the decision to remain negative. How the negativity was created is irrelevant, it is meaningless. It has happened; it is a given fact now, that you are negative, that you don’t have any positive flowing energy. You have just a closing energy that closes up on you, caves in on you; and you have no door to move out from. The sky is lost and you live in a dark cave.
It is irrelevant how it happened. There is no need to go into the past. I am telling you this is the foundation of Eastern esoteric psychology: a man, whatever he is, has to continuously decide to be that way – only then can he remain that way.
It is like pedaling a cycle. You are pedaling a bicycle, you have pedaled for miles, but if you want to continue the journey you have to go on pedaling. If you stop pedaling, the bicycle is going to stop. Maybe through past momentum it may go on a little, a furlong or two at the most. But it is going to stop, and there is no need to go into research on how you started pedaling in the first place because that is an absurd research. You cannot go into that because you will go on and on, and not find the beginning. The past is eternity; you cannot find the beginning, and the whole search will stop your growth.
I tell you: just stop pedaling and the bicycle is going to stop. If you are negative, you are pedaling negativity continuously. If you take the decision just this moment not to pedal any more, your mother or God – nobody – is there to prevent you. It is your decision. But if you don’t want to take the decision, then you can find a thousand and one excuses. Freud gives you a very wonderful excuse, very scientific-looking, but don’t be deceived by the appearance. Freud has created a new myth. It is not science yet; in fact the science of human consciousness is impossible because science is possible only in the world of cause and effect, and human consciousness is freedom. It has no cause and effect chain; science cannot be created in it.
Religion is not science, it cannot be. More or less, religion is an art. It has no causality in it, so if you feel negative, that means somehow or other, knowingly or unknowingly, you have invested much in your negativity. Now you want to cling to it, you don’t want to drop it. If you are miserly, you want to cling to it, you don’t want to drop it. See the point. If you want to drop it, I say to you, “Immediately! This very moment!” Nobody is blocking the path. But you don’t want to drop it, and you don’t want to realize the fact that you don’t want to. Then you play a trick. You say, “I want to drop it, but how can I? My mother gave me the whole negative attitude toward life.” So you hate yourself for being negative, and you hate your mother because she has made you that way. Nobody has made you that way, nobody is responsible.
Don’t play these games. You are responsible. It may look like a burden I am putting on you, but if you look deeply, you will feel that this is the only possibility for your freedom. If you are responsible, only then can you be free. If others are responsible, how can you be free? If you are “caused,” you are “caused” by others; then you can never be free, then you are just like a rock.
But I tell you, you are free. Your nature is freedom. That’s why one word, moksha, does not exist in Western languages. There is no equivalent to it, no synonym for it: it means absolute freedom. Eastern psychology is developed around the concept of moksha, absolute freedom. You can be free because you are free. Realize this, this moment. And nobody is blocking the way – there is no barrier, no wall. But if you don’t want to become free, don’t think that you want to become free. People talk about freedom, but they want to remain in bondage because bondage has its own comforts, securities, conveniences. Freedom is risky.
Miserliness has its own conveniences, otherwise nobody would be a miser. If you are not a miser, you become more insecure. If you cling to money, to things, you feel a certain security – at least there is something to cling to, you don’t feel empty. Maybe you are full of rubbish, but at least something is there, you are not empty.
You go on clinging. With negativity, you feel powerful. Whenever you say no, you feel powerful, the ego is enhanced. Whenever you say yes, you feel humble, the ego is destroyed. That’s why you don’t want to say yes and you go on saying no. When you love, you become humble; when you are angry, you become powerful. Have you watched? When you are angry, you have four times more energy than you ordinarily have. In anger, in rage, you can throw a rock, a big rock. Ordinarily if somebody tells you to, you cannot even push it, you cannot even move it. When you are angry, you have great power. When you are loving, all power disappears.
Can you find a more humble man than Jesus, more powerless than Jesus crucified? Just think of him. The people had gathered, the crowd was waiting. He would do some miracle. He will prove that he is powerful, that he is the son of God – this is the right moment and the right opportunity to prove it. But the crowd was very disappointed. Nothing happened. Jesus simply prayed. Who had come to listen to a prayer? Jesus simply said, “Father, forgive these people because they don’t know what they are doing.” He simply showed his love; and people had come to see his anger, people had come to see power. He will destroy everything, he will take over all power, he will become the high priest of the temple, or he will become the ruler of the country. He will become the king.
They had come to see power, and what they saw was just simple humbleness – a humble man, a poor man, crucified, just praying. But that was the miracle. The greatest miracle that has ever happened on this earth happened that day. Being murdered and killed, he could still pray. That is the miracle. He could still pray for these people to be forgiven because he knew they didn’t know what they were doing, they were ignorant. “They are not doing, Father, knowingly; they are almost fast asleep, snoring. They are doing something unconsciously so they are not responsible. Don’t punish them.”
This prayer was the miracle. This is where Jesus is, the heart of Jesus. But when you say no, you feel powerful; whenever you are angry, you feel powerful. Hatred is powerful, love is meek. And Jesus says, “Blessed are the meek.” Blessed are the meek? Nobody wants to be meek. Hatred seems to be powerful. Have you seen two countries at war, how powerful they become when they are at war? Everybody is vibrant with power. When countries are at peace, the power disappears. When two people love each other, the egos disappear; there is no power. Two people in deep love are blessed, but they are meek, delicate. Love is fragile like a flower. Hatred is powerful like a sword.
So whenever you are negative, you feel powerful. And if you still want to feel powerful, you will cling to your negativity. Don’t throw the responsibility on to your poor mother because that is absurd. Take the responsibility yourself because that is the only chance of your transformation.
Look at the situation. And I am not saying, “Drop your negativity.” I am simply saying, “Understand.” If you want to carry it, it is up to you. Who am I to say to you, “Drop it”? If you are feeling good in it, I can simply bless you. Be blessed in your negativity. But then don’t go on saying that you would like to drop it, don’t play this game. If you want to be negative, be negative. If you don’t want to be negative, drop it. But this foolish game is not good: “I want to drop the negativity, but how can I? I was brought up in such a way that now it is impossible.”
Look, observe, be honest. The mother is not the question. Your own honesty is the question, your own sincerity. And remember, I repeat again: I am not saying to drop it, I am not trying to save anybody – because how can I save you against yourself? That’s not possible.
I am simply trying to get you to see the fact of it. The very fact delivers. That is the meaning of Jesus’ saying, “Truth liberates,” nothing else. Jesus cannot liberate you, neither can I. Truth liberates. Just see the truth. If you want to be negative, if you feel powerful through negativity, be negative and feel powerful. But then don’t try the opposite; then forget all about religion. “These people are mad – this Jesus and Buddha – their minds are crazy.” You are sane.
Simply remain in your sanity; follow negativity. If you are honest, what will happen? If you are honest, you will see that through your negativity you are creating a hell. Only you are suffering, nobody else. Let the suffering come to such a point where you cannot suffer any more, where you have to come out as if your house is on fire. Then you don’t cling to it; you simply run out. And you don’t ask for the right way to get out, you don’t ask for a master – that you have to learn the right way and the right technique. Nobody bothers! You jump out of the window, you run out of the back door, you find a way out yourself once you realize that the house is on fire.
Be true. Don’t create deceptions around yourself. Don’t deceive yourself. And then if you decide to be negative, be negative – be perfectly negative. And I know that will help because it will create such a hell that you will have to come out of it.
Right now you go on creating hell, and you also go on creating dreams of heaven. Because of those dreams of heaven your hell is clouded; you cannot see exactly what it is. It is as if the house is on fire, and you are fast asleep, dreaming about a golden palace. Because of that dream you cannot see the house is on fire. So you go on dreaming about religion, transformation, growth, this and that, enlightenment. These are dreams, and because of these dreams you can’t see the hell that you are continuously creating, continuously deciding upon, continuously helping. On one side you go on helping, and go on throwing fuel on the fire. And on the other hand you go on asking for methods how to get out of it.
Enough. Stop it. Look at the facts. If you want to live in hell, it is for you to decide; nobody else can interfere. Go into hell, but go totally; and that totality, that sincerity, will bring you out of it. Truth liberates.

The fourth question:
My heart aches. Such a tiny crevice of it feels able to open to you. I want to melt and flow around you like a puddle, and I don't know how. Somehow my heart knows what it would feel like to open totally to you, and because it does not, it aches. And I shake and want to force, knowing that I can't. I love you such a tiny bit and it is beautiful.
This is from Anupama. I can see that her heart aches, but that heartache is beautiful. Remember, headache is always ugly, heartache is always beautiful. Headache comes when you think too much, you are obsessed with thinking. Heartache comes when you start feeling, when you start melting. Heartache is a good sign, a great indication that something is happening in your deepest core.
“My heart aches. Such a tiny crevice of it feels able to open to you.” Good. Help it to ache more and don’t try to avoid it, and don’t try to get rid of it because heartache is a positive thing. Headache is a negative thing. Headache is a disease; heartache comes only to those who are starting to be healthy and whole. Heartache is holy.
The word is the same: ache. That creates difficulty. Remember, never forget it: whenever the heart aches, it shows that you are getting deeper into your being.
Love has its own ache. But blessed are those who attain that ache of love. By and by, the heartache will grow more and more, it will become more and more intense. Help it so that it becomes a flame. You burn, but that burning is beautiful because that fire will burn only the ego, not you. You will come out of it purified, like pure gold.
“My heart aches. Such a tiny crevice of it feels able to open to you.” Remember this too: love never feels enough. Love always feels that it is not yet enough. That is a sign of love, it never feels enough. You can never feel enough love, you can never feel more than enough love. It is the very nature of love that it always feels that more is possible. “I can give more, I can flow more.” Love is an infinity. So however much you open, you will always feel more is possible. It is a journey that begins, but never ends. Love’s journey begins, but never ends. It is eternity.
“I want to melt and flow around you like a puddle, and I don’t know how.” Nobody knows, nobody has ever known, nobody will ever know, because it is not part of knowledge. But you are already on the way, so move in the same direction. Allow it to ache more. Enjoy that ache, delight in it, and help it. Don’t fight it. Surrender to it. Don’t stand aloof, don’t be a watcher, don’t separate yourself. Be drunk with it, get involved in it, be absorbed in it so much so that only the heart aches – and you are not there to watch and see. Only the heartache remains, and you have disappeared. Then it becomes a tremendous ecstasy. It is a birth pang; yes, a birth pain. One is reborn through it.
“Somehow my heart knows what it would feel like to open totally to you.” Yes, the heart knows because the heart has its own ways of knowing. They are not of the mind. It knows how it will be to be totally open. That knowledge is not something learned. That knowledge is inborn; that knowledge is carried like a blueprint in the heart. The day you come out of the original source – call it God’s home – the day you are coming from the original source, that blueprint is put into your heart and sealed.
So in a very strange way, you always know how it will feel to be totally open, to be totally flowing, to be totally in love and prayer. Yet you don’t know because the mind knows nothing about it. And yet you know because the heart carries something in it that only needs flowering. It is like the seed that carries the blueprint of the whole tree – I say, of the whole tree. Even of a single leaf, the blueprint is there. There will be millions of leaves, but each single leaf has a blueprint hidden in the seed. The seed is very small, but it carries the whole plan, it carries the whole future in it.
The heart is the seed of God. It carries the whole plan in it. It carries your destiny, and your destiny is tremendously great. The seed may be very small, maybe a mustard seed. The smallness of the seed is not the point – don’t be deceived by the smallness of it. It may just be atomic. It may not even be visible to the eyes, it may not even be visible to the greatest magnifying glass, it may be so tiny. It is very small – very small, atomic.
Nobody has known the atom, nobody has seen it yet. Only the effects are known – it is an inference. Nobody has ever seen the heart – I am not talking about the physical heart. Nobody has seen the heart, the heart Jesus talks about, the heart Meera sings about, the heart Chaitanya dances about. Nobody has seen that heart yet; nobody is ever going to see it because it is very, very small; it is invisible. But it carries God in it. It carries it, as every seed carries the tree.
Just look at a small seed – can you imagine what it can become? A tree can be born out of it, a great banyan tree, and then millions of seeds through this one seed. Scientists say that a single seed can fill the whole earth with greenery. A single seed can fill the whole universe with greenery because there is no “finitude” in it; it is infinite.
Each single heart can fill the whole universe. You will never be able to know what it is if you try to know through the mind. But if you relax into the heart, you will know in a very strange way. That is the way of the mystics, not of the intellectuals; that is the way of the poets, not of the philosophers. You will know it in a poetic way; you will know it, and it will never become knowledge. It will remain knowing, a groping, and it is beautiful because whenever something becomes knowledge, it is already dead. Whenever you have known something, finished, then you are no longer interested in it.
Love can never be known that way. It always remains unknown. It goes on alluring, it goes on invoking, it goes on calling you further and further. One peak, somehow, you reach; another peak is waiting. Another peak you reach; more doors open, more peaks are there waiting for you. It is an infinite journey. One knows, and yet one never knows.
“My heart knows what it would feel like to open totally to you, and because it does not, it aches. And I shake and want to force knowing that I can’t.” I understand. And you have observed your heart perfectly well. This is how it happens: you know nothing can be done, you know that doing will only disturb; yet you go on thinking, you go on wishing that something may be there, that something can be done – maybe, perhaps. And you know all the time nothing can be done because it is not a question of doing. But still, the heart goes on feeling that perhaps there is a way.
One hangs, as if in a mist. But that is how one grows. Nothing can be done, and I know that nothing can also be done about the thinking that goes on thinking that maybe something can be done. Nothing can also be done about that. So accept that too; that too is part of the heartache. Accept whatever it is, and in total acceptance is transformation. Relax, don’t fight. Remember – this is very delicate because whenever I say relax, you think now you are not to think; now you are not to do anything, now you are not even allowed to think about what to do. Then you have misunderstood me.
When I say relax, I mean relax. Whatever goes on, let it go. I am not saying… Because if you start thinking that let-go means that you are not to think about what is to be done, then you will start fighting with the idea that will be coming again and again. What to do? – you will start fighting with it. Let-go simply means no fight.
Now it becomes even more subtle. If fight arises, what will you do? Let go, let the fight be there. This is the delicate thing about it, that at whatever level you start fighting, drop fighting. Do you understand me? When I say, “drop fighting,” don’t start dropping it because then you are not dropping, then you have started a new fight against fight.
It is tremendously significant. Let me repeat. I tell you not to fight, but fight arises. What will you do? – let it be. And I have been telling you not to fight, and fight arises. What should you do? – let it be. That is what I mean when I say don’t fight. At whatever level struggle arises and you become concerned and you become separate from the ongoing process – don’t do that. Relax, let it be, whatever it is. Accept whatever it is unconditionally, and by and by you will become aware that that is the only way to be, and the only way to be blissful, and the only way to be blessed. A totally different plenitude is attained when you relax.
“…and because it does not, it aches. And I shake and want to force, knowing that I can’t.” Let it be so. Know that you can’t, and still it goes on: accept it.
“I love you such a tiny bit, and it is beautiful.” Love is beautiful, even a small window into the sky of love is beautiful. Of course, only a small part of the sky can be seen from the window, but it is still part of the sky. Sooner or later you will have to come out of the house. That which is beautiful will draw you. You will by and by be forced to come closer and closer to that which you love, that which is beautiful. Suddenly you will be running toward it; you will forget all about the house, the enclosure that you have been living in for lives together. Suddenly, in a deep ecstasy, you are out of the house, under the sky.
Only love can bring you out of your misery, only love can bring you out of your hell because only in love can you forget yourself. And you are the misery, and you are the hell.

The fifth question:
If you are not there, and there is no thought any more, how can you give such coherent and beautiful discourses? It seems like you are aware and understand what you are saying.
Such beautiful and coherent discourses are possible because I am not there. Once I am there, they will no longer be beautiful. Not only that: they are beautiful because you are listening when you are not there. Once you are there, they will no longer be beautiful. The beauty exists only in an egoless space. You come, and ugliness follows.
“If you are not there, and there is no thought any more…” Yes, I am not there, and there is no thought any more. That’s why this river goes on flowing, because there is nobody to hinder it, nobody to obstruct it.
“It seems like you are aware and understand what you are saying.” It only seems. Don’t be deceived by the appearance. I am not aware. I am drunk – drunk with awareness maybe, but I am drunk. But this drunkenness is called awareness. If your awareness is not also drunkenness, it is not awareness yet. If you are not drunk with awareness, you are not drunk yet. When awareness and drunkenness become almost synonymous, only then is there buddhahood, then is there enlightenment.
“It seems like you are aware and understand what you are saying.” It only seems: it is not so. I am drunk. And it seems that I understand what I am saying – I don’t understand what I am saying; I am simply allowing it to be said. I am not trying to understand what I am saying because that would be a duality; then I would be two – someone who is trying to understand what is being said. Then I would be in a dichotomy. And that’s what happens when you say you are watching what you are saying all the time, whether you are saying it right or wrong. You are always trying to be consistent, logical, this and that. I am absolutely inconsistent. I am not trying in any way to understand what I am saying. I allow it. Because that is my understanding: unless you allow, nothing of worth flows. If you try to say something that is meaningful, the meaning will be superficial. If you simply say it without any effort on your part, if you simply allow the divine, the whole, to flow through you, it is tremendously meaningful: then the meaning is ultimate.
And I would also like you not to try to understand what I am saying – because that is the only way to miss it, a perfect way to miss. If you want to miss what I am saying, try to understand. Just listen, there is no other need. It is a song to be heard, it is a dance to be watched.
I am a certain emptiness and I would like you to participate in it. Be in rapport with me, don’t try to understand, because then the intellect enters and you are no longer total. If you are total, whatever comes out is beautiful. If you are not total, at the most you can create an appearance of beauty, but it will not be beauty. Beauty is always of the total.
Please don’t try to understand me; otherwise you will become a great knower, but you will miss knowing. Then you will become a rabbi, a pundit, a maulvi. But you will miss the real understanding that I am showering on you. Remember this: understanding is not needed – only a deep drunkenness that is also awareness is needed.
Be with me. When you are trying to understand, you are with yourself; you are trying to interpret me according to your mind, knowledge, information. You are trying to look at me according to your past; your eyes are clouded with dust, you will not be able to see me. Just be a mirror: reflect me, don’t try to understand me. Echo me, don’t try to understand me. And there will be understanding.

The sixth question:
I have been so anxious to understand the mysteries of life that I have spent many years reading and learning whatever was available. All that I came to know is my ignorance. My question is this: Why, being so hungry of knowing, and at the same time so aware of lack of knowledge, have I never been able to find a single question after your lectures, even if I try, as I am trying now.
This is from Sugita. She is a professor, and she has been in search, and she has been honestly in search. She has read much, and she has gathered much knowledge. But knowledge can deceive you only if you are not an honest seeker. If you are a sincere seeker, knowledge cannot deceive you. You know this is all dust. That’s why whatever she has been reading, studying, has not been able to deceive her.
“All that I came to know is my ignorance.” That is the beginning of knowledge, that is the beginning of wisdom. Because of it, she is listening to me not to understand; she is just drinking me, she is drunk with me, and no question is arising because if you listen to me in such a drunk state, you understand me totally. There is no gap, so questions cannot arise.
Remember, questions arise more out of your knowledge than out of you. If you know, and you think you know, then many questions arise. If you know that you don’t know, then you simply listen. You are nourished by me, you drink me, you feel me. But there is no knowledge, so there is no struggle within you, no conflict within you. I immediately reach your very heart. Questions do not arise because you immediately understand.
When you listen through ignorance, understanding is total. When you listen through knowledge, there is no understanding, only chaos. Arguments arise, questions arise. There are two types of questions: one that comes out of ignorance – then it is beautiful; one that comes out of knowledge – then it is ugly and quarrelsome. But if your ignorance is total, then even that question which comes out of ignorance does not arise.
Sugita’s ignorance is really total. She is a rare woman.

The seventh question:
And PS: just because we were urged to create questions, I have made this one. But today's lecture gave me the answer. Before I ask you for water, you quench my thirst. But now a real question arose. Why, drinking and eating so much from you, am I still hungry and thirsty? But please do not answer it. I will just go on drinking and eating.
If the question is really sincere, it will be answered even before you have asked it – because then it is simply transferred to me, it is simply communicated nonverbally. When I come here, those who are really in tune with me immediately communicate whatever is their real question. They need not even ask, but the answer will be there. Because I am not speaking here in a vacuum, I am speaking to you.
That’s why I don’t like people who are not in deep communion with me to be here – because they disturb; their vibrations create clouds around here: then those who are in tune with me cannot relate so easily. Even a single person who is antagonistic here will not allow me to flow, will not allow me to reach you. Those who are in tune with me need not ask. Their very tuning – they may not even be aware of their question, but the question has reached me. It is communicated.
And from that communication the answer is going to arise. I am not there – just an emptiness to respond to you, just a mirror to reflect you. And yet it is true that the more you drink of me, the thirstier you will feel because a total thirst is needed.
It has to be understood a little. I create thirst in you. I quench it, and then I create more thirst in you because once the thirst is total, then you will be able to drink out of God himself. Then the master is not needed; then I become just a door.
So I will quench your thirst just to increase it more – so that it becomes total, so that you are not there, only thirst throbbing – only thirst, and only thirst. The disciple is not there, the inquirer is not there. Then the master is not needed; then you simply pass through me. I become the door.
So the master has to do two things: to create a thirst, to quench it just to create more. I go on pouring into you water and new thirst; not only water, but thirst also. But each time your thirst will be on a higher level, and each time your thirst will have become more and more intense. Then a moment comes: you disappear and only thirst remains. When the thirst is totally alone, and you are not there, then the master disappears. And through the master, God becomes available.
Enough for today.

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