Come Come Yet Again Come 13

Thirteenth Discourse from the series of 15 discourses - Come Come Yet Again Come by Osho.
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The first question:
People of almost all the religions try to convince other people to follow their respective religions. But I have met many of your followers and they always discourage me from adopting the way you are preaching. Why is this so?
The first thing: what I am teaching is not a religion but religiousness. A religion is a creed, a dogma, an ideology; it is intellectual. You can be convinced about it – arguments can be given, proofs can be supplied, you can be silenced. Argumentation is a kind of violence, a very subtle violence. It is an attempt to manipulate you, control you, enslave you. All the religions have been doing that for thousands of years; it is a subtle strategy to create mental slavery.
What I am doing here has nothing to do with religion at all. It is a kind of religiousness – no belief, no dogma, no church. It is a love affair; you cannot be convinced of it. Do you think Majnu can convince others about the beauty of Laila? It is impossible. Nobody can convince anybody else about his love affair. It is far deeper than the intellect, it is of the heart, and the heart knows no arguments, no proofs; it is simply so. One can dance, one can sing, but one cannot prove it. One can shout with joy, one can say “Alleluia!” but those are not arguments, they are not convincing.
The story about Majnu is very significant. It is a Sufi story. It is not an ordinary love story as people have been thinking, it is an allegory.

Majnu fell in love with a woman called Laila who was not beautiful according to others. According to the public opinion she was very ordinary, homely – not only that but ugly too. And Majnu was mad, so mad that the very name of Majnu has become synonymous with madness. He was continuously praying to God, continuously moving around the city asking people for help, because he was a poor man and the woman he had fallen in love with belonged to an aristocratic family. Even to see Laila from far away was not easy. It was a Mohammedan country, and in a Mohammedan country it is very difficult to see even the face of a woman.
Seeing his agony, his anguish, even the king became a little concerned. He called Majnu; he felt great compassion for him. He told him, “I know that woman; the family is well-known to me, and if Laila had been a beautiful woman, she would have been part of my harem. I have not chosen her – she is not worth choosing. I have got all the beautiful women from all over the country, and I feel so much for you that I will give you a chance. You can choose any woman from my harem and she will be yours!” Then he called the most beautiful women.
Majnu looked at each woman in minute detail and said, “This is not Laila.” Again and again… He passed over a dozen women, and the remark was always the same: “This is not Laila.”
The king said, “You must have gone utterly crazy! Laila is nothing compared to these beautiful women. You can choose anyone. I know your Laila. I have known the most beautiful women of the world, and my women are some of the greatest that have ever been on the earth.”
Majnu said, “But you don’t understand me. I can understand that you cannot understand. It is not a question of choosing somebody else; the choice is not in my hands. It has happened already: the heart has chosen. I am nobody, I cannot interfere in it. The mind is only the circumference; the heart is the center. The center has chosen. How can the circumference interfere?
“Moreover – forgive me for saying so, because you have been so kind – I still insist that there has never been a woman like Laila and there will never be again. But to see the beauty of Laila you need the eyes of a Majnu, and you don’t have those eyes, so nothing can be done about it. You have to see her through my eyes; only then will you be able to see the grandeur, the splendor of her being.”

Remember these words: to see the beauty of Laila you need the eyes of a Majnu.
This is not a religion. The people who have gathered around me are lovers – not intellectually convinced of what I am saying, but existentially convinced of what I am. It is a question not decided by the mind but something to be felt.
That’s why my people never try to convince anybody. Knowing perfectly well that you don’t have the eyes of a Majnu, what is the point of going into hairsplitting logic? It is futile! They know perfectly well that it is not their intellects that have made them part of my buddhafield, it is their hearts. Something has started ringing in their hearts – a bell has started ringing in their hearts.
Their hearts have felt a new release of energy, a new dance. A new melody has been heard, not a new argument but a new melody. Their hearts were asleep, now they are awake. Their hearts were like a desert. Now the spring has come, now roses are flowering, bees are humming. Their inner beings are transformed. It is religiousness.
Religiousness happens only when a Buddha or a Krishna or a Mahavira or a Christ is alive. When Christ dies there is religion. Religion is the corpse of religiousness; it only looks like a real person. When a person dies he looks exactly like he was when he was alive. Just something very small is missing – he is no longer breathing; otherwise everything is perfectly good! You can paint his face, you can put his hair in a beautiful style, you can give him beautiful garments, and he will look very young and very alive, with red cheeks – everything can be done. In the West it has become an art: how to paint the dead man, how to make him look alive. But it is only an appearance; the real is no longer there. It is only a cage – maybe a golden cage, but the bird has flown away.
When religiousness dies, religion is born. Religiousness breathes; religion is a corpse. But many people feel good with religion – in fact, the majority. Ninety-nine point nine percent of people feel good with religion because it is not dangerous at all. What can the corpse do to you? You can do anything to the corpse, but the corpse cannot do anything to you; the corpse is in your hands.
But when religion is alive and breathing – that’s what I mean by religiousness – then you are possessed by it, but you cannot possess it. You cannot possess a Buddha or a Lao Tzu or a Zarathustra. You cannot possess Bahauddin, Jalaluddin, al-Hillaj Mansoor… No, that is not possible. These are people who have known the ultimate freedom – how can you possess them? They cannot fulfill your expectations, they cannot move according to you; they will have their own way. If it suits you, you have to be with them. You will not be able to force them to be with you; there is no way possible.
The truth cannot be with you – you have to be with the truth. But the lie is in your hands. You can manipulate it, you can make it look the way you want it to look, you can give it colors, you can cut it; you can give it form and shape, you can make it fit with your unconscious life. You can be a Hindu; it does not disturb your unconsciousness. You can be a Mohammedan; it makes no transformation in you. You can be a Buddhist with no trouble at all, with no danger, with no insecurity. But to be with a buddha is to walk on fire! All that is nonessential in you will be burned and only the essential will survive – and the essential is very small in you. So much of you is false, and it is going to die.
To be with a buddha means a death. Life comes afterward, but death comes first. Resurrection first is not possible; it can follow only if crucifixion has happened. It comes after the crucifixion. To be with a master is to be ready to die and ready to be born anew.
Religion is consolation, conformation. Religiousness is revolution, rebellion.
Ajai Krishna Lakanpal has asked a long question about the Sufis who have died in the past – Muhinuddin Chisti, Nijamuddin Auliya, Baba Jan and others. He has asked about their majars, their graves – have they any power? He is a worshipper of these majars – a worshipper of graves. And he is asking me, “Are they not still vibrating with the energy of those great mystics?”
Being here with me he has no courage, no guts to be a sannyasin, but he goes to Ajmer to pay his respects to somebody who was alive a few hundred years ago. I know perfectly well that if Muhinuddin Chisti was alive today, Ajai Krishna Lakanpal would not go there at all. Even if he did go there he would ask about the Kaaba, Bodhgaya, the graves of Buddha, Mahavira, Christ. Asking about the graves of other enlightened people is such a stupidity, but it looks as if you are asking a religious question.
Being here with me, if you cannot risk then of course you have to go and worship graves. And if you cannot feel the energy here, where else can you feel the energy? All that energy is your projection and nothing else. I am not saying that there is no energy, but that energy can only be felt by those who have felt it with someone who is still alive. If you can feel the energy here, if you can get in harmony with this energy, you may be able to feel it at the dargah of Muhinuddin Chisti in Ajmer. But if you cannot feel it here, you cannot feel it there – that would be impossible. If you cannot see God in man how can you see God in a rock? First you have to see God in man; only then will your insight deepen and will you be able to see God in the rock too.
First you have to be in contact with a living religiousness, then all religions become true in a new sense; otherwise they are just corpses. But they are comfortable – you can go and offer flowers and you can bow down, and the grave cannot do anything to you. You can come back with good feelings, that you have done something great, and you are the same old fool – nothing has happened to you. At the most you are a little more foolish than you were before because now you are a religious fool. Before you were just an ordinary fool; now you have some pretensions of religion too. Now you will come home with that haughty feeling of holier-than-thou – just by going to a grave! Let me remind you, I am not saying that those graves have nothing; they have much, but only for those who have eyes. If you cannot see it in a living Sufi, in a living master, you are blind; you cannot see it in a grave at all.
But graves are good because you are also dead and there is a certain adjustment. You are dead, the grave is dead; it feels very good – in the right company. You are a ghost and you would like very much to live with the ghosts.
You ask me: “People of almost all the religions try to convince other people to follow their respective religions. Why is this so?” That’s a significant thing to ask. You may be surprised: they are not really trying to convince others; by convincing others they are trying to convince themselves “We are not wrong.” When they are able to convince somebody, again they feel at ease: “My religion is right, I am not wrong. Look, even somebody who never belonged to my religion is convinced.” Christians go on converting people all over the world. The only reason is that they are not convinced of Christ yet.
The two most ancient religions in the world have been non-converting religions: the Jews and the Hindus. The Jews never converted anybody – they were so utterly convinced that there was no need to convince anybody else. The Hindus never tried to convince anybody. These are the oldest religions in the world; in fact, all other religions are, in a sense, branches. Christianity and Islam are branches of Judaism; Jainism, Buddhism and Sikhism are branches of Hinduism. The most ancient traditions have been non-converting. Why? The reason was that they were convinced; they were so ancient and they were not in need of new converts. Their very ancientness gave them enough ground to be convinced that they were right. Not that they were right, but they had this illusion of being right because of their long heritage going back into prehistoric times. They had the most ancient scriptures, and that was enough for them; that served their purpose.
But Christianity was a new religion; Christ had to start from ABC. Buddhism was new; Buddha had to start from ABC. Mohammedanism was new; Mohammed had to start from ABC – he had nothing behind him to fall back upon. The only way for the Mohammedans was to convert others. They were substituting tradition by converting people and creating a great mass of followers; that was their way of convincing themselves.
Hindus and Jews were convincing themselves in a different way, but Christians, Mohammedans and Buddhists could not do that; that was not possible for them. That avenue was closed; they had to open a new door. They became converting religions. The most unconvinced of all these were the Christians, for the simple reason that the Jews had crucified Jesus. Now there was a great fear in the followers.
When Jesus left the world, the followers were in a deep darkness: their founder had been crucified with two criminals, a thief on each side. He was treated like a criminal and he could not manage to do any miracle on the cross. There was a great shaking of the foundations. The Christians were very shaky, they were not grounded. They were very much afraid: “Who knows, we may have fallen into a trap. Jesus may not be the right messiah.” The Jews could not recognize him – great scholars, rabbis, saints, could not recognize him at all. “Who knows?” That doubt persisted. The only way to destroy that doubt was to convert as many people to Christianity as possible. “If we can convert the whole earth, then it will be proof that we are right.”
People think that a majority in numbers proves whether you are right or wrong. Now, you can take numbers in two ways: either you can count all the people who have gone before you in the past, or you can count the people who are still alive. If the door of tradition is closed, then you have to convert the contemporaries.
Christians became great converters, and they have converted almost half of humanity. Still some wound remains, still the doubt has not disappeared – and this is not the way to make it disappear. The heart has not yet become convinced, the doubt still persists, the shadow lingers on.
Christians go on writing thousands of books proving that Jesus was the right messiah. What is the point? Who are you trying to convince? You cannot convince the Jews; you have tried for two thousand years and you have not been successful. Hindus are not at all interested whether Jesus was the right messiah; Jainas are not interested, Buddhists are not interested. Who are you trying to convince? You are trying to convince yourself.
You must have known this psychological phenomenon: when you are going alone into the forest on a dark night you start whistling or singing a song, as if by singing a song the danger is averted, or that whistling is going to help. But in a psychological way it does something. When you start whistling you forget all about the fear – because the mind can do only one thing at a time, so when you are whistling you forget the fear. Moreover, when you start whistling you start hearing the whistle, and when you start hearing the whistle it gives you the fallacious idea that somebody else is there who is whistling, and that makes you feel a little at ease. It is the same phenomenon.
Christians are still whistling, still doubtful. They have to be doubtful – they are responsible for their doubts. To prove to the Jews that Jesus is the right messiah, they have to brag and tell lies. For example, they say that he was born out of a virgin mother. That is sheer nonsense! Now, how can you ever be convinced of it? You may turn the whole earth toward Christianity, yet the doubt will persist. Any man who has even a little bit of intelligence can see the point: this is stupid – Jesus cannot have been born out of a virgin mother. Then they have also been saying that Jesus raised the dead and cured the blind.
But Jesus could not prove anything on the cross, where the real test was, when one hundred thousand people had gathered to see the miracle. He had been doing all these small miracles, but only in front of his disciples, and they were not many. He had only twelve apostles and they were all villagers, uneducated – fishermen, woodcutters, carpenters, farmers, gardeners – simple people. He walked on water in front of these people; he raised the dead in front of these people; he cured the blind in front of these people. Yet when one hundred thousand people had gathered – the most educated and sophisticated of all the rabbis and all the scholars and all the professors in Jerusalem – he could not do anything.
Jesus was thirsty on the cross, and he could not even produce a cup of water for himself. He had done miracles like transforming water into wine. He was thirsty and begging for water – he was dying. A great doubt had arisen even in his own mind whether he was really the messiah, whether he was really the son of God. He asked God, “Have you forsaken me? Why have you forsaken me? Is this the time to leave me alone, to betray me? I lived the whole of my life in trust – why are you not doing something to save me?”
Nothing happened. The sky remained silent – no miracle. The people must have gone home laughing. They must have all enjoyed the picnic and laughed. It must have been the gossip for a few days in the town, and people must have giggled about the whole affair – that this man was a fool, a pretender. Christians have not yet forgotten it; the wound has gone deep. But they are trying to cover it up.
Mohammed came later still; he came just fourteen hundred years ago. By that time humanity was almost divided; it was very difficult to find converts. Of course, when he was alive he turned many people on, but the moment he was gone it was impossible for his followers to find converts. As far as argument was concerned, Mohammedans could not argue with the Buddhists. Buddhism had reached as far as central Asia. By that time there were temples of Buddha all over Asia, particularly in central Asia. To argue with Buddhist logicians is the most difficult thing. The Buddhist logicians and philosophers have touched the highest possibility of intellectual grasp.
It is impossible to argue with the Jaina philosophers. Even Pythagoras remembers them. He met them in Egypt. He calls them gymnosophists, and he describes them as naked people who argued with such intelligence that it was impossible to refute them. It is very difficult to refute Buddhists and Jainas; it is very difficult to prove that Mohammed was a greater miracle man than Jesus.
So Mohammedans were in a difficulty, and the only way was the sword. Intellect was not going to work, so they started cutting off people’s heads. If you cannot cut down their arguments, cut off their heads – because might is right! They went on a rampage. They killed thousands, murdered, butchered, and converted people forcibly: “For your sake, of course, for your own good, because if you are not a Mohammedan you are not going to achieve paradise, you will fall into hell.” They were trying hard to save people, but in fact they were trying to convince themselves that Mohammed was as good as Buddha or Jesus or Mahavira or Krishna.
My people are not interested in converting anybody because they don’t have any doubt. They are not here with me to be convinced, they are here with me because they are already convinced as far as their hearts are concerned. And if they are not convinced, they are free to leave; there is no need to be here at all.
I am not interested in the masses and the crowds; I am interested only in the chosen few, I am interested only in the spiritually aristocratic, the very few intelligent people. So if your heart is dancing with me, good. If it is not dancing with me, then this is not the right place for you – you are free to leave.
My people will never try to convince anybody – at least not while I am alive. When I am gone, nothing can be done about it; then there is no guarantee. While I am alive they will not try to convince anybody.
But, without any of my people convincing you, you have come here; that is far more important. Something of their joy has caught you; some glimpse in their eyes has touched you. Something special in their vibe has brought you here. This would not have been possible if they had argued. Argument is very gross and the work of real energy is very subtle.
I receive thousands of letters from all over the world: “There is certainly something strange in your orange people. They don’t argue; they are not like Jehovah’s Witnesses. They are not like Hare Krishna people, always carrying the Bhagavad Gita and trying to force things into your head whether you are willing or not. They don’t interfere in anybody’s life.”
But their non-interference is far more effective. That shows that they have found something, that they have discovered something. Their very being is vibrant with their discovery. They are joyous, they are happy, they are cheerful. They are living their lives as creatively as possible.
Now all kinds of creativity are happening here. There are dance groups, there are music groups, there is a theater group, there is an art group, and soon there will be many more – sculptors, architects, scientists, poets, novelists. Everybody is going to be here, and they will all share their joy through creativity. If their creativity can convince you, then that is a totally different matter. If their very life can become a light to you, that is a totally different thing. But they are not going to force anybody. I am not in favor of coercing people.
You say to me: “People of almost all the religions try to convince other people to follow their respective religions.” They are religious and this is only religiousness – at least right now it is only religiousness. It is only a quality, vague, fluid, flowing, and dynamic; it has not become stagnant yet. It can become stagnant only when I am gone. While I am alive I will go on stirring – I will never allow you to settle anywhere. I will go on and on calling you to new adventures, challenging you to new explorations.
You also say: “But I have met many of your followers and they always discourage me from adopting the way you are preaching.” They are not my followers, just my friends. To be a follower is ugly. I am not a leader, so how can you be a follower? For you to be a follower, first I have to be a leader, and that very word is ugly.
I am nobody’s leader; I am just living my life, doing my thing. The people who enjoy being with me are welcome. It is a friendship. We are fellow travelers. Maybe there is a little difference: I am awake, they are asleep – so what? I was asleep, now I am awake. They are asleep, tomorrow they will be awake. Their very sleep proves only one thing, that they have the capacity to be awake.
Also I don’t disturb anybody’s sleep prematurely. When I see the person is going to wake up anyhow, then I just give him a little nudge. I don’t nag, I don’t go on nagging them, “Wake up! Wake up!” because if you nag a sleepy person to wake up too much, he may start dreaming that he has awakened. That is a difficulty because the mind can create all kinds of dreams. It can even create the dream that one is awakened, that one is enlightened. Even here it happens to a few people.
Now Siddhartha is here from Germany; it is happening to him. In his dream he has become enlightened – or approximately. Be aware, when a German becomes enlightened, then he becomes perfectly enlightened!
Just a few days ago I was talking about Proper Sagar, the perfect Englishman. Somebody has asked me, “Do you know why he is perfect?” I know, but I cannot tell you because he will feel very offended, very offended. He is such a perfect Englishman that if I tell you the truth, he will be very offended. If you promise me not to tell anybody, then I can share it: he is really a German pretending to be an Englishman. No Englishman can defeat him. There are hundreds of Englishmen here – has anybody the guts to defeat Proper Sagar? Impossible! When a German tries to be anybody, he is always perfect. To be German means to be perfect – they are synonymous.
So it is happening in Germany: Siddhartha is dreaming that he has become enlightened. And I go on playing jokes: I have given him one of my chairs and one of my robes. So with my robe on he sits in the chair – and being a German he is very methodical. On one side sits a woman who is Mukta; on the other side are two women, one who is Vivek, the other Laxmi. In front of Laxmi is a man who is Shiva. Germans do things perfectly!
Another German, Gunakar, is here. Siddhartha is very simple, a nice guy, but Gunakar is an advocate, a great legal expert, so he is going about it more methodically, more legally. Now he has closed himself in a room, just the way I live in a room he lives in a room; he does not come out, he does not write. He has a secretary – a woman, of course. He does not allow anybody to touch his body.
The reason people are prevented from touching my feet has nothing to do with enlightenment – it is just that my toes are in difficulty. To touch my toes hurts them badly, so people have to be prevented. Gunakar must have seen that nobody is allowed to touch my feet anymore, so he is preventing people from touching him “because his energy gets disturbed.” And both of them are here.
So if you try to wake up people in their sleep, the great danger is that they may wake up, but not really, only in sleep; they may dream that they are awake and in their dreams they may start playing all kinds of games of enlightenment, spirituality, religiousness. One has to be very aware not to disturb anybody before the right time.
So I persuade you, I seduce you toward awakening. But I am not in a hurry – it cannot be done in a hurry. I have to wait, and when I see that you are just coming out of your sleep, only then a little shaking helps and you are fully awake. Even if you are not shaken up at the last moment, you may awaken. It may be a little later; it is just a question of time. The master has to be watchful not to be in a hurry, because sometimes it happens that you see people in misery and you would like to help them immediately. But to help them immediately may harm them more if they are not ready to wake up.
So my people are not my followers, they are just my friends, my lovers – they have fallen in love with me. As you know, love is blind; it is not a logical thing, so how can they convince you? They have not connected themselves with me through logic; it has been an illogical jump. They can only share their joy with you, and if that brings you here, it is good.
Certainly my sannyasins will tell you not to follow me because that’s exactly what my teaching is: not to follow me. Each individual is unique; nobody has to become an imitator. They will discourage you from adopting the way I am preaching – they will discourage you so that you can find yourself. Otherwise people are very willing to believe. Belief is so cheap; it costs nothing to believe.
My people will discourage you from believing, from following, from adopting the way I am teaching. If you become interested you have to come here and explore yourself. It is an exploration. It is an adventure into the unknown. It is going beyond the familiar, beyond that which can be comprehended, beyond that which the mind can cope with. It is a journey into the beyond. It is very delicate, far more delicate than the petals of a rose. You can destroy it very easily; any coercive effort and it is destroyed. So they bring you here without any coercion, without any logic. They only invite you, and that too not directly – very indirectly. They will discourage you from following me, because it is not a question of following me; the real question is of following your own light.
All that I can do is to help you find the way that reaches to your own innermost light. I can show you the way. When you have found your light you will have to live your own life. It will not be as a Christian, it will not be as a Hindu, it will not be Mohammedan; it will simply be your life, nobody else’s.

The second question:
I have heard you know something about this guy Murphy and some of his golden rules. Please tell us some!
I don’t know much about this guy Murphy, but I don’t know much about anything else either! I am not a man of knowledge; I function from a state of not knowing, and I have found that that is the most beautiful space to function from.
I have heard a few of the golden rules of this guy Murphy, so I will tell you a few. George Bernard Shaw has written a beautiful book, Maxims for a Revolutionary. The first maxim is a beautiful one: the first golden rule is that there are no golden rules. But Murphy has improved upon it, and George Bernard Shaw would have appreciated it very much.

Murphy’s first golden rule is: Whoever has the gold makes the rules.

Second: Never think of the future – it comes soon enough.

Third: For every credibility gap there is a gullibility fill.

Fourth: Youth looks ahead, old age looks back, middle age looks worried.

Fifth: Youth is when you blame all your troubles on your parents; maturity is when you learn that everything is the fault of the younger generation.

Sixth: The best thing about the golden old days is that they cannot come back.

Seventh: Being frustrated is disagreeable, but the real disasters in life begin when you get what you want.

Eighth: The solution to a problem changes the problem.

Ninth: Almost anything is easier to get into than to get out of.

Tenth: Beauty is only skin deep, ugly goes to the bone.

Eleventh: Celibacy is not hereditary.

Twelfth: Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.

And thirteenth: If you think education is experience, try ignorance.

The last question:
Yesterday in lecture you said that laughter was natural. I have also heard you say that what is natural is easy and right.
Why do I find it so difficult to laugh – even at your jokes?
Laughter is natural, but you are not natural; hence the meeting cannot happen. You will have to be natural too. Yes, I say what is natural is easy and right, but because you are not natural you are neither easy nor right. Your whole upbringing makes you artificial, arbitrary; it destroys your nature. It imposes something else that others want – it imposes the opinions of others upon you. There are vested interests that would like you to be a certain way. They don’t want you to be natural – they are afraid of nature.
Somewhere deep down in man there is fear of nature. That fear of nature has created many problems. It has created an ugly civilization, a rotten culture, an anti-nature technology, a science against ecology, a religion which is not in tune with your innermost being. It is time for man to revolt against all this that has happened to humanity in the past.
But why is man afraid of nature? There are reasons. The first is: nature is bigger than your ego, and if nature is allowed, the ego cannot be in control. Then nature will control you. Then you will not feel that you are in control, and you would like to be in control. So rather than being natural, you repress your nature and you claim only a small spot of your being. Only one tenth of your being can be controlled by the ego. Then you feel the master, you are the master. With nature you are not the master; with nature you are nowhere, you don’t exist at all. The ego creates everything – the ego creates morality, and morality is against nature.
For example, what can you do if you fall in love with a woman who is not your wife? That falling in love is natural, but you have to look to other things – your marriage, your prestige, your respectability, your society, your religion, your future, your salary, your job, your business – and not only in this world but in the other world too. You will have to answer to God why you fell in love. It is better to prevent nature, to close nature completely, so you remain confined in the rules and regulations of your society, culture, religion.
You are taught ambitiousness, and nature is non-ambitious. Nature has no instinct in it to be the president of a country or to be the prime minister of a country. Nature would like to dance, sing, make love, eat, sleep, to go swimming, take a sunbath. But nature will not bother to become the president of a country – nature is not that stupid. Who wants to become President Reagan? A third-rate film actor has become the president of America. Now all the third-rate people will be feeling great, they will be feeling that now they can also make it. All kinds of stupid fools, mediocre people, become so prominent that if you want to be prominent you have to be mediocre.
Nature is very intelligent. It is not mediocre; it is not stupid; it is tremendously clear, clean, transparent. You have to destroy its transparency, and then naturally you become sad. Then you cannot laugh. Laughter becomes impossible because laughter is a natural phenomenon. You can be sad, you can be miserable; that is not natural, and it is cultivated.
You cannot laugh because you are not natural. Relax and drop all that is unnatural in you – all pretensions, pseudo coverings, masks. Just be ordinary. To be ordinary is the greatest thing in the world. Let me say it in this way: to be ordinary is the most extraordinary thing in the world. Why is it extraordinary? It is extraordinary because the desire to be extraordinary is very ordinary. Hence, to be ordinary is really extraordinary. Only very few people have been able to manage it up to now.
Just be ordinary and laughter will come to you, unless it has gone very deep in you – unless you have been brought up by Catholics, Jainas, or in some other kind of unnatural way of life; unless you are an ex-nun! Then it will be difficult, but not impossible. I have destroyed many nuns here! Now even if you try to find them you will be surprised – you will not be able to find any monks and nuns.
If you want to know a really destroyed nun, meet Chintana. She has been a great nun. When she came it was impossible for her to laugh, and now I think she is the most laughing woman around here. Whenever she comes to see me I always tell her to go into gibberish. She is the most perfect at gibberish. She makes such beautiful sounds, meaningless; she starts speaking all kinds of languages which nobody understands. But she goes into it really passionately, deeply. One would never have thought that a nun could do this!

How do nuns and monks make love?
Out of habit.

Are you a nun? Then drop the habit! Or perhaps you are in more dangerous waters – you may be a Polack! To be a nun is only a question of a few years of conditioning, but to be a Polack needs many incarnations.

Have you heard the story of the Polack lesbian?
She loved men.

The Polack patient lying on the operating table whispers to the surgical-masked doctor, “You can take your mask off now, doctor, I have recognized you.”

In a school in Poland the teacher asks, “Have any of you ever saved somebody’s life?”
A little boy raises his arm, “Yes, my little nephew’s.”
“How did it happen? Tell us.” asks the teacher.
The little Polack says, “I hid my sister’s birth control pills!”

The unmarried Polack cleaning woman had a baby. When asked by a social worker about the father of the child, she replied curtly, “Dunno! You think I turn around every time I clean the stairs?”

The phone is ringing in the doctor’s office. He picks it up and hears the desperate voice of a Polack woman: “Hello, Doc! Did I leave my underpants in your room after the medical examination?”
“No,” replies the doctor, “they are not here.”
Half an hour later she calls again. “Hello, Doc, it’s me again. Don’t worry anymore, I found them – they were at the dentist’s.”

Come out of your unnaturalness! Come out of your Polack-ness! Laughter is one of the most important things in life. The person who misses laughter is going to miss God too.
I can tell you categorically that when you reach God he is not going to ask you what sins you have committed and what virtues you have accumulated. He will ask, “Have you brought some new jokes?” He always asks that. He must be getting tired – since eternity he has been sitting there doing nothing. Of course the grass grows by itself, but what can you do with the grass? One gets tired seeing the grass growing by itself.
Collect a few beautiful jokes before you leave this body. Listen to my suggestion – I am really serious about it!
Enough for today.

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