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Chapter 87

I enjoy my work very much. It is different here in the commune compared to the outside world. There is no hierarchy. Sannyasins play their roles with much love and care for their coworkers. Morning discourses are a real tonic for me to keep me high in spirit for the whole day. I hardly ask any questions these days. Actually before I ask my question the answer is already given. I feel Osho's eyes are working like x-rays, penetrating deep [n our psyche especially in close-up darshan, It is impossible to hide, anything from Him. Every evening nearly fifty to sixty sannyasins have appointments to see him. By six o'clock sannyasins start lining up at Lao Tzu gate. Lao Tzu is the name given by Osho to bungalow #33, where He is staying.

Everyone has to pass through two sannyasins who are very sensitive to detect any kind of smell. If someone is rejected for some kind of smell, it is taken easily because they know Osho is allergic to smells. Every care is taken for that. Once a person is okayed, he can go in and can take his seat on any of the benches available. By 6:45pm when everyone is through, the whole group slowly walks through a pathway which leads to Chuang Tzu Auditorium. This auditorium has a marble floor and quite a high ceiling which is miraculously supported by only a few round pillars around the edge. It has no walls. It is surrounded by big trees and feels like it's part of the garden.

By 7:OOpm everyone gets seated and Osho then walks through a door opening to the auditorium, namastes everyone with folded hands and sits on His chair. There is a pin drop silence except for the sound of crickets in the trees. Music from Buddha Hall enriches the silence more. The whole atmosphere is so magical I feel if there is any heaven this is it. Then one by one each person is called to come forward near Osho. In one of these darshans, Osho asks me if I am missing Bombay. I tell Him, "Osho, I am missing the ocean here." He says, "Look in my eyes and you will find the ocean." I gaze in His eyes, which He keeps open without blinking for a few moments. I can see in

His eyes the depth of the ocean and much more. They are moist and full of light radiating His love and compassion.

After this darshan I buy a picture of Osho with open eyes and in the morning I gaze at it for a while to quench my thirst for the ocean.

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