On January 17, 1990, I go to Bombay to sign some documents in the registrar's office. For some reason the papers are not ready and I get an appointment on January 20. I decide to come back to Poona on January 18 in the morning.
On January 17 in the evening, I go and visit my friends at a meditation center. When I tell them that I have to come back January 20 they suggest not to go back to Poona for two days and offer me to stay with them. I refuse their offer saying, "Osho is no longer reliable. He could leave His body any moment. I don't want to be away for two days. "
On January 18 in the morning, I go to the Bombay airport to catch a flight to Poona. There are also a few sannyasins there who have just arrived from the West. They ask about Osho's health and I tell them, "His health is quite good and He is coming out to Buddha Hall every evening for satsang." They are happy to hear it and become excited that they will see Him that evening.
When we reach Poona we find out that on January 17 Osho just came to Buddha Hall, namasted everyone and left. He did not sit for satsang and He was looking very weak. In the evening on January 18 He does not come out of His room and sends the message that He will be meditating with us sitting in His room.
On January 19, 1990 all the commune activities are going on as usual. Osho's physical absence in Buddha Hall is not a new thing any more. He has trained us for that during the last year.
Around 5:30pm, Ma Neelam comes crying to Mataji's room to break the news that Osho has left His body. For a couple of minutes I am just looking at Neelam with blank eyes not understanding what she is saying. Neelam is totally in tears. When I hug her, I realize what has actually happened. The white swan has flown away in the vast blue sky leaving no footprints behind.
Osho's body is brought into Buddha Hall for a few minutes and then is taken to the burning ghats with thousands of sannyasins singing and dancing. A great energy is released and those who are in love with Him are celebrating this rare precious moment, riding on it.
At the burning ghats I am standing right in front, watching the body of my beloved master being consumed by the flames.