Question 1

"BELOVED OSHO,

WHEN I HEAR YOU SAY THAT YOU ARE ONLY HERE FOR US, I FEEL SUCH AN URGENCY ARISING IN ME, SUCH A DEEP URGE TO MOVE DEEP INSIDE BEYOND ALL MY LITTLE PIDDLY TRIPS AND LIMITATIONS, AND YET INSIDE REALIZING SUCH A DEEP HELPLESSNESS.IS THERE ANY SECRET OR SHORT CUT, SO I DON'T MISS?"

Prem Turiya, the path that leads to your innermost being makes you feel more and more a tremendous urgency as you come closer to the center of your being. The farther away you are from yourself, the less is the magnetic pull of your being. It is a simple scientific fact.

As you come closer to the magnetic field, you become more and more aware of a tremendous urgency. Something is going to happen, something that is going to transform you completely, something for which you have been waiting for many, many lives -- something that you are not even aware what to call it. This is one part of the feeling of urgency.The second part is that the closer you are to realization... a deep fear arises, will you be able to make it? When you were far away there was no question of missing; you were certain that you had missed it -- there was a certain certainty. But as you come closer to the peak, a human fear arises: are you going to make it in such a short time, with your little energy?And as you see the peak, you also can see that your problems are so trivial, your pleasures are also very trivial, that your whole life is childish. Your fights, your friendships, your love affairs seem to be so small and so stupid that you want to get out of them as quickly as possible.

Before, you were never in such an urgency to get out of them, because you had never realized what your potential is, to what heights you are entitled, so you went on playing with toys. But now that a vision has arisen and is becoming more and more clear, you can see all your involvements, commitments, relationships, everything, as so small compared to your inner consciousness.

And those small things are clinging to you since many lives; they are parasites, they are not going to leave you easily, because to leave you means certain death to them. It is your blood they thrive on, and the moment you realize that these small things are preventing you, such small things...

I am reminded of a beautiful story that Gautam Buddha used to tell his disciples. It is a strange story and perhaps no Buddhist has ever commented on it. Only a buddha can comment on it, not a Buddhist; only a man of absolute awareness can see what Buddha was trying to say through this small story.

He said that a man who was blind was lost in a big palace which had one thousand doors, but nine hundred and ninety-nine were closed; only one door was open. The man was blind and he had to grope to find the door. Out of nine hundred and ninety-nine doors... he goes on looking -- some door may be open. And finally he comes to the door which is open. But then suddenly he feels a strong desire to scratch his head. He starts scratching his head and passes the door, and again, nine hundred and ninety-nine doors... And who knows what will happen next time when he comes to the one thousandth door? Just a stupid desire to scratch the head...

What Buddha was trying to say is that your problems are not very big; you are far bigger than your problems. Your intrinsic capacities are immense, incalculable. Your problems are utter trivia, but you are so much involved in those small problems that you cannot see beyond them.

But, Turiya, when you come closer to yourself you stand between two things. On one side your whole past, which is nothing but a long, long history of stupidities; and your future, which is so close, so luminous, such a splendor that naturally a great urgency arises: How to get rid of this whole past? How to get rid of this mind? How to get rid of all these problems that have been torturing you, all these nightmares that you have been suffering, and take a quantum leap to reach to your very center, where no problem has ever entered, where no thought has ever arisen, where nothing is small and trivial, where everything is satyam, shivam, sundram -- where everything is nothing but pure truth and pure divineness and pure beauty.And when you see it so close, another urgency arises also. Hearing me say that I am here only for you, a trembling fear that perhaps you may not be able to make it before I have to leave my body, on the one hand; and on the other hand, the feeling of urgency is not only for you, but for the whole of humanity too. Are we going to spread the fragrance of enlightenment? Have we the capacity? Have we the courage to fight against the enormous ignorance all around?

You have as much power and as much capacity as any Jesus, any Socrates, any Gautam Buddha, because essentially we come from the same source, essentially we have the same potential.

But I can understand your feeling of urgency. My only suggestion is to avoid making this urgency a problem; otherwise this will be another trivia. Just be absolutely contented that you have come so close. Be contented that you can see what is trivia and what is significant. Be content that I am still with you and the phenomenon of transformation can happen in a split second.

Be content that if I can stand alone against the world with all kinds of prejudices, you are also capable. You have to stand alone just to represent me. The day you will be able to stand alone against superstitions, prejudices, religions, politicians, that day will be a day of celebration for you because you have represented me with your total being.

It is perfectly good to feel the urgency, but don't try to find any short-cut or any secret, because there is none. If there were some secrets I would have given them to you. I am in a deeper urgency than you are; if there were any short-cuts, do you think that I am miserly, that I would not give them to you? and that I would unnecessarily torture you on long, arduous paths when a short-cut was available?

I have heard about a man who was driving; he stopped his car and asked an old farmer who was smoking, sitting by the side of a tree, very relaxed, "How far is New Delhi?"

The farmer asked, "Are you going the way your car is facing?"

The man said, "You are strange. I am asking how far Delhi is."

The farmer said, "Without knowing, I cannot answer. First answer my question: Are you going in the direction your car is facing? Then Delhi is really too far; I don't think you will be able to make it."

The man said, "I thought you were a simple farmer, but you seem to be a philosopher."

He said, "I am a simple farmer. You have left Delhi almost fifty miles behind. If you turn your car back, Delhi is very close. But if you go in this direction then you will have to go around the whole earth, and then too there is no certainty that you will reach Delhi. There are a thousand and one ways you can go astray."

Gautam Buddha was passing through a forest. It was fall time and the whole forest was full of dry leaves and naked trees were standing against the evening sun, looking so beautiful. Ananda, his close disciple, asked him, "I wanted to ask it many times, but other people were present. Now fortunately a few disciples have gone ahead, a few are coming behind, and this is a moment I am alone with you and I can ask the question." And his question was, "Have you told us everything that you know or are there some secrets that you are holding back?"

Gautam Buddha bent down, filled his hand with dry leaves, showed him those dry leaves in his hand and said, "Whatever I have told you is just like these few dry leaves; what I have not told you is just like the whole forest full of dry leaves. But it is not because I am a miser, it is not because I wanted to hold it back from you; even to say these few leaves has been such a difficult task. I have wasted my whole life in conveying something about these few leaves, but these few leaves are enough as far as understanding all the leaves of the forest are concerned. If you can understand these few leaves, just a handful, you have understood all the leaves of the whole forest."

It is a question of understanding. You do not have to know all the oceans to come to the conclusion that ocean water is salty. From anywhere, just a little taste of the ocean will give you the taste of all the oceans which you may never visit.Whatever was necessary, whatever was essential I have been telling you. Whatever is left untold is left untold because there is no way to tell it. If you can understand what I have told you, you will come to a situation, a position, a consciousness, a perceptivity, where you can know all that which I have not been able to tell you.

But I am not holding anything back from you.

Turiya, this is a moment that you should be contented that you have come so close. Your urgency should not turn into a discontent; otherwise you will be thrown back far away.

Your urgency should be transformed into a deep contentment and a rejoicing that you have been able to be a fellow traveler of one who is fully awakened, and you have been a fellow traveler of many who are also searching and seeking with tremendous intensity something which the whole world is unaware of. If this contentment settles in you, perhaps the quantum leap will happen on its own accord.Nathan Nussbaum met his old friend, Benjamin Rosenblatt, in the street one day.

"How are things?" asked Benjamin.

"Good," replied Nathan.

"Good?" says Benjamin. "You seem to have plenty of troubles."

"No, no" said Nathan nonchalantly, "it is always good. In summer I am good and hot. In winter I am good and cold. My roof leaks, so when it rains I get good and wet. Also that nag of a wife always makes me good and mad. And when I am at home, I feel good and worried. Believe me, I am good and tired of it all!"I am not talking about such contentment. Your contentment should be a song, a dance, a rejoicing, a love, a sharing. Your contentment should not be dead; it should be alive and dancing.