“You cannot be adventurous when you are unhappy. Adventure needs a subtle happiness in you. Then you can leave the known…only with a dancing heart…happy, blissful, positive…can take you into the uncharted”.

Osho: The Book Of Secrets III, 1976

Continuation from last issue………

Barely ten, Laxmi first learnt of the death of her three- year old cousin owing to pneumonia. Laxmi did not understand death and saw her in her dreams. Sad, she felt a vacuum. Further Laxmi was shocked that her body was buried. Anxious what would happen to her cousin if it rained and ants would bite her in the grave, she persistently asked questions of her parents for a long time. Gradually the family explained to her that when a body died and was cremated as per the Hindu rites, it turned into dust. Therefore it did not matter if ants attacked the body or it rained because once dead a body was bereft of any feelings. All said and done death remained a mystery for Laxmi.

Coupled, these two incidents of superficial friendships, physical appearance and death shattered Laxmi. In moments of pain Laxmi was influenced by the story of Buddha who left comforts of palace in search of truth. Laxmi wanted to emulate Gautama the Buddha.

Laxmi planned to leave home and family in search of truth. Laxmi wrote to her cousin that she would leave home at midnight forbidding her to inform her family. However she slept through the night. In her dream Laxmi saw Lord Krishna laugh. Krishna told her that the inner search knows no physical boundaries. It happens in all circumstances and everywhere. There was no need to run away from physical or mental spaces. Moreover Buddha did return home after twelve years.

The next morning Laxmi was worried that her cousin would inform her father. A week later Laxmi’s father asked when she would leave home in search of truth. Laxmi had tears in her eyes. Hugging father Laxmi said she would never leave him and go away. Laxmi narrated how in her dream Lord Krishna told her to be content with life. Laxmi’s father laughed. Confident, Laxmi was not a coward he advised her that truth led to ease where as lies caused misery in life. With this episode the desire to renounce and be a sadhvi, feminine hermit dropped from Laxmi’s plans and itinerary in life. Ironically years later Laxmi rolled into Osho’s neo sannyas and was among the first few sannyasins.

As a child Laxmi did not pursue religion with rituals. Visits to the temple with the family were an appreciation of architecture, cool feel of marble, exotic statues draped in colorful satin and brocade, prasad, sweets offered to the gods, and fragrance of incense.

To be continued…..